denphen

I think part of my problem is I feel like the # of people that I can turn to is close to zero. Like I only have a handful of people I can talk to and after so long I wear out my welcome. That's my feelings of the situation.

loulu

I have been in same exact place with my husband. I look forward to reading your thread.

sperry1106

It feels so good to hear other people talk about feeling alone when their active addicts are present. My addict started to 'slip' behaviorally about 10 days ago. And for me, I've found that alone feeling comes even before the relapse. They say the relapse happens before the user picks up the drug; and I think that's true. When my addict is 'on'; he's loving and sensitive and calm and loves to talk things out. When he's not; he becomes short and irritable and distant - much like a rebellious teenager with their mother (sad comparison, I know).
Anyway - just wanted to say thanks and you are not alone in your feelings!

denphen

Here we are a month later and today I'm feeling the same...allllloonnnneee

Hope7726

Hi denphen, I just read this thread. I can completely relate to the loneliness caused by loving an addict. It is such a horrible feeling and makes you feel so small and insignificant.

Like others here, I urge you to attend some type of group meeting. Naranon has been a saving grace for me. I also attend counseling. I opened up to my close friends and family and was amazed by the support and encouragement I recieved. If you really feel you have no one to talk to, meetings are even more critical. Coming here is awesome but there's nothing like face to face contact with people who understand.

Please take care of yourself! It is the only thing you can do. You are powerless over your addict.

denphen

I know. Just one of those nights I guess where I realize I will never be enough for him. Or something triggers that thought cuz clearly I've realized that along time ago

Hope7726

Sadly nothing and no one is enough for an addict except drugs. We can't compete. It's not about you and its not your fault.

I'm sorry. I am going through a hard time right now too and feeling pretty sad and lonely. The holiday season is certainly not helping.

denphen

We had a pretty good holiday yesterday but today he's just that other person who stays mad and then I get mad at myself for dealing with it. Then I start feeling bad for him then bad for me. And somewhere in the middle I start analyzing it all. How he ignores me, how he wants to do anything but spend time with me, how I'm at the bottom of him to do list.

NJandy

The loneliness is definitely the worst part for me. These things help me:

*reconnecting with friends

*time with my kids (which is harder because they are now both away at college, but luckily they're home for the holidays)

*spending more time with my religious community

*exercise, exercise, exercise

*work

*al-anon and nar-anon meetings

*therapy

Twofish

Dear Andy,
You have a plan, very wise step in YOUR recovery.
Please try to stick close to your plan. IMO, you shall
see some improvements in your life, this too, will take time.
Keep your hope alive and don't find yourself alone too often,
We care about you, now, it's time you do the same.
Respectfully,
TF