The Guest House
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
The Guest House
I'm learning my emotions are natural and okay. My usual response is to avoid them and tuck them away. I'm getting better, but have a long way to go.
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The Guest House
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
- Rumi
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The Guest House
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
- Rumi
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Silicon Valley, CA
Posts: 2,066
I like this poem. I view the range of emotions as peaks and valleys. You can't have highs without having lows. The birth of children, sun on your face during a summer vacation, getting a pay raise or praise for a job well done. Those things wouldn't feel as good if everyday was all sprinkles, lollipops and rainbows. You need struggles and angst and sorrow to make joy, glee and excitement feel as good as it does. I'm trying to tell myself that after this alcoholic struggle phase that I'll never take another good day for granted and that I'll even be grateful for the bad days too.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
I view the range of emotions as peaks and valleys. You can't have highs without having lows. The birth of children, sun on your face during a summer vacation, getting a pay raise or praise for a job well done. Those things wouldn't feel as good if everyday was all sprinkles, lollipops and rainbows. You need struggles and angst and sorrow to make joy, glee and excitement feel as good as it does. I'm trying to tell myself that after this alcoholic struggle phase that I'll never take another good day for granted and that I'll even be grateful for the bad days too.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
I've been very uneasy today in that I don't know how to accept a normal, nice day.
I've been trying to tamp it down. Meditation and prayer would work for a while and would have worked better if I'd spent more time and did them more often... but then I just remembered another option is to accept it as a valid feeling and welcome it. Perhaps doing that will clear the way for other feelings when they arrive, instead of having the unease fight against things like happiness or sadness.
It was a good day, but all along it seemed hard because I was fighting against this. Instead of telling myself "don't feel this way", it's okay to welcome new feelings. To let myself be off balance, give myself time to adjust and accept this as a part of my journey.
I've been trying to tamp it down. Meditation and prayer would work for a while and would have worked better if I'd spent more time and did them more often... but then I just remembered another option is to accept it as a valid feeling and welcome it. Perhaps doing that will clear the way for other feelings when they arrive, instead of having the unease fight against things like happiness or sadness.
It was a good day, but all along it seemed hard because I was fighting against this. Instead of telling myself "don't feel this way", it's okay to welcome new feelings. To let myself be off balance, give myself time to adjust and accept this as a part of my journey.
My sponsor offered great advice about emotions: "Don't fight them, don't feed them, accept them". Like so many others I was very self-critical of feelings and learned they're all ok. Accepting them made getting through the emotions I didn't want so much easier. Just understanding that all feelings change helped. Thanks for the lovely poem.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
The more we think a certain way, the stronger the neural pathways become.
I'm thankful for healing, for the fluidity of life.
Thank you for bumping; this poem was a profound inspiration to me when I broke off my relationship with XABF back in 2013, and tried for a while to run away from the "crowd of sorrows" that were my emotions.
When I finally fully accepted the grief, loss, shame, regret and all the accompanying waves of pain and let them wash over me, I felt empty, but cleansed and ready to begin again.
Indeed I was "cleared out" for unimaginable new delights - and have been able to recognize and receive them with gratitude.
I hope others can take comfort in this beautiful poem tonight!
SQ
When I finally fully accepted the grief, loss, shame, regret and all the accompanying waves of pain and let them wash over me, I felt empty, but cleansed and ready to begin again.
Indeed I was "cleared out" for unimaginable new delights - and have been able to recognize and receive them with gratitude.
I hope others can take comfort in this beautiful poem tonight!
SQ
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 9,010
This is a favorite of mine too. I need to meditate more as I feel this is the time that I let the emotional-whatever wash through me.
Today I had a meeting with my lovely but dysfunctional FOO and our also lovely but dysfunctional ROO (religion of origin ? Not sure that is a thing). I like to be the nice good guy in situations but the meeting made me angry at many ways my church is messed up. I've been waiting to send emails about this meeting as I have a tumult of angry/judgy/negative feelings around it.
So with y'alls support I am inviting in all the angry/judgy/negative feelings along with the angry/judgy/negative feelings ABOUT these feelings - irk.
Being human is so messy.
Today I had a meeting with my lovely but dysfunctional FOO and our also lovely but dysfunctional ROO (religion of origin ? Not sure that is a thing). I like to be the nice good guy in situations but the meeting made me angry at many ways my church is messed up. I've been waiting to send emails about this meeting as I have a tumult of angry/judgy/negative feelings around it.
So with y'alls support I am inviting in all the angry/judgy/negative feelings along with the angry/judgy/negative feelings ABOUT these feelings - irk.
Being human is so messy.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
I like this poem. I view the range of emotions as peaks and valleys. You can't have highs without having lows. The birth of children, sun on your face during a summer vacation, getting a pay raise or praise for a job well done. Those things wouldn't feel as good if everyday was all sprinkles, lollipops and rainbows. You need struggles and angst and sorrow to make joy, glee and excitement feel as good as it does. I'm trying to tell myself that after this alcoholic struggle phase that I'll never take another good day for granted and that I'll even be grateful for the bad days too.
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