SeriousKarma

Who needs Alanon when we've got PONY BABIES!!!!!!!!

That's it, I'm calling it. Pack up the SR Family and Friends Forum, and turn out the lights. I think maybe we've just solved the riddle of codependency: All is good with the world.

Taking5

Is it true that As are not allowed in open meetings of Alanon? My AA sponsor told me I should go to a meeting or two but I never have.

Now a current using, drunk, A I understand being excluded, but I thought I could go to Alanon.

SeriousKarma

You're correct. Anyone can attend an "open" meeting (assuming they're not drunk at that moment). An A would be absolutely welcomed. In fact, we have a few RA's who attend my home group regularly, though they also have qualifiers that make them "double winners". If you have anyone in your family with a drinking problem other than yourself, mother, father, wife, husband, daughter, whatever, you'd be welcome anytime. You're sponsor was right. You should go. Good luck.

tlm56

He woke up for a few minutes and I told him he could not go since he was drinking. He agreed that I would go by myself and if he wants to go when he is NOT drinking, I assume that would be okay?

Live

It would be nice if there were AA meetings at the same time for him to attend.

tlm56

He does not want to quit, he does not think his drinking is a problem since he says it is something he enjoys. He is 64 years old with heart, lung, and kidney disease.

SeriousKarma

I'm sorry, Tim56, but I don't think it would be. It kind of sounds like his reason for going is either to be purposefully antagonistic, or to get in the way of your recovery. If he truly just wants to know what the program is about you can bring him some literature from the meeting.

You could also suggest that the two of you attend an open AA meeting together. Not instead of you going to Alanon, but as well.

tlm56

I went to the meeting, just happens that they have it earlier on the last Tuesday of the month, so I missed it. But they had an AA meeting starting with a speaker and they asked me to stay. Both AA and Alanon people were there and I will be going again next week and AH will be going with me. They said he was welcome to come at any time to either meeting even if he has been drinking. Glad I went.

lizatola

That's great! I have to agree that AA is the place for him and Al Anon for you. But, I have been in meetings where an A who is drunk/high showed up at Al Anon for whatever reason. I was uncomfortable to some degree but really I just prayed that they learned something about 'the other side'. I have attended open AA meetings, too, and have many friends who are recovering alcoholics who attend both meetings and juggle their schedules between the two commitments. As far as I've ever seen, I've never seen someone turned away from a meeting, NEVER.

Carlotta

What SeriousKarma said. I am a double winner myself and I thought that Al Anon was not for "people like me" (meaning alcoholics). I am glad that someone told me "oh yes it is!" and that the ladies at my first meeting were so welcoming (all I did at that meeting is say my name then cried for the duration) and told me to come back.
Al Anon saved my sanity.

Carlotta

I am so glad you went to the meeting and talked to the people, many newbies are just too shy and would have walked out, I hope this is the first step in a wonderful recovery for you

Ps:
Sorry for being all over the place with pony babies and double winners LOL

ladyscribbler

Funny how that stuff works out. So glad you had a positive experience. Sounds like you met some good people, and who knows, maybe some recovery will rub off on your husband.

paige73

I'm glad you were able to attend a meeting and that you will be going back....that's encouraging.

NYCDoglvr

Oh my God, no, don't take him to Alanon. It's for you, about your problems. Don't let this keep you from going to Alanon, however.

SeriousKarma

I'm so glad you were able to make it to a meeting, and had an encouraging answer to your question. I was already starting to regret my last response to you. I reread it and thought it sounded a bit discouraging, and I certainly didn't want that to be the case.

It sounds like you found a very welcoming group. That's wonderful. I've gotten so much out of the program, I hope you do to.