(((((liveweyered Is Back))))))!!!!!!!!!
A picture's worth a 1000 words
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: With any luck, I'm lost in a view finder
Posts: 2,954
(((((liveweyered Is Back))))))!!!!!!!!!
Oh Tena I'm Sooooooooooooooooo happy to see you're name on my screen again!!!!
How are you girl?????
:ghug3:ghug3
I've missed you Soooooooooo much!!!!!!
How are you girl?????
:ghug3:ghug3
I've missed you Soooooooooo much!!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
Actually I am doing very well.
Ugly circumstances the last month, but it has put me to the test. And I feel good about myself. I am afraid that my husband has not demonstrated the virtues I married him for.
I have been telling myself he was acting out of his illness and is suffering and I will take the position of compassion. But I am also experiencing non-attachment more than I expected. At this time I will not agree to a divorce, which he has asked me for. Later, when I am in a better position, I will. He has asked for an amiable divorce and to be friends. I said no. It's not going to work that way. Friends-wise, I mean. If we divorce, then I want no further contact. Ridiculous thing to ask, if you ask me.
Ugly circumstances the last month, but it has put me to the test. And I feel good about myself. I am afraid that my husband has not demonstrated the virtues I married him for.
I have been telling myself he was acting out of his illness and is suffering and I will take the position of compassion. But I am also experiencing non-attachment more than I expected. At this time I will not agree to a divorce, which he has asked me for. Later, when I am in a better position, I will. He has asked for an amiable divorce and to be friends. I said no. It's not going to work that way. Friends-wise, I mean. If we divorce, then I want no further contact. Ridiculous thing to ask, if you ask me.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
We are going to marriage counseling.
He is sending mixed messages.
I do not believe divorce is the answer at this time.
I think it is the "easy" way out from problems that should be resolved.
And I made a commitment, so did he....and I am coming from that standpoint right now.
I am sitting back and waiting to see how things go down with his son and when my next project comes thro' requiring relocation. He says he won't move and live with me.
I have a BIG problem with that.
At least he is working now and not on his butt or in bed all the time.
And my meds are working really well for me right now.
The month's separation gave me space to be me and reconnect with that as well.
So......we will see how things unfold.
He is sending mixed messages.
I do not believe divorce is the answer at this time.
I think it is the "easy" way out from problems that should be resolved.
And I made a commitment, so did he....and I am coming from that standpoint right now.
I am sitting back and waiting to see how things go down with his son and when my next project comes thro' requiring relocation. He says he won't move and live with me.
I have a BIG problem with that.
At least he is working now and not on his butt or in bed all the time.
And my meds are working really well for me right now.
The month's separation gave me space to be me and reconnect with that as well.
So......we will see how things unfold.
Its_me_jen
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
old faces ...... young minds ....... 
Tena! I'm so gald you made it back. I missed you. It's great to hear that your meds are working well. That's got to be such a huge relief. I'm sorry you're going through a rough time right now but I know you're strong for it.
Tena! I'm so gald you made it back. I missed you. It's great to hear that your meds are working well. That's got to be such a huge relief. I'm sorry you're going through a rough time right now but I know you're strong for it.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
Okay. I know my husband was reacting out of fear and illness. So I just kept saying I love you. And that our vows are that there are two lives but one journey. Last night he said he didn't like the way he had acted and thought that this had been an enlightening experience and growth experience, with much reflection and etc. He does want to try to work things out. As do I. Love is a choice sometimes, I don't always feel loving but at those times I look to my values and beliefs and act according to those as best I can.
I have got a knot in my stomach that stepson and gf are at the patio table with hubs right now. GF is Edie that I broke off with some time back. I did tell hubs this morning that I wanted nothing to do with her and still felt the same about it. He isn't asking me to change and says it is a necessary evil because of circumstances for him. Okay. Stepson is going to be working with hubs outside today. It was/is a good day for me to try to put some order back inside and clean up after hubs month long bacheloring. I did point out to him how dirty some things were as he always tries to tell me he cleans up after himself. Or maybe I will spend it on the spare room putting my clothes away. I do have to go to Wal-mart and pick up refills. Also must get in the form for the free Effexor.
I will probably check in more often today to help stay grounded. Trying not to react to stepson being here....that shouldn't throw my whole day off but it sure makes me feel irritable and hard to stay in the present.
I have got a knot in my stomach that stepson and gf are at the patio table with hubs right now. GF is Edie that I broke off with some time back. I did tell hubs this morning that I wanted nothing to do with her and still felt the same about it. He isn't asking me to change and says it is a necessary evil because of circumstances for him. Okay. Stepson is going to be working with hubs outside today. It was/is a good day for me to try to put some order back inside and clean up after hubs month long bacheloring. I did point out to him how dirty some things were as he always tries to tell me he cleans up after himself. Or maybe I will spend it on the spare room putting my clothes away. I do have to go to Wal-mart and pick up refills. Also must get in the form for the free Effexor.
I will probably check in more often today to help stay grounded. Trying not to react to stepson being here....that shouldn't throw my whole day off but it sure makes me feel irritable and hard to stay in the present.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
Oh. A day of dirty deals and betrayals. Tabloid details are in pennies thread # 57 (?) pages 9 thro...? He has shown himself to be unworthy of trust or decency. He stormed out of here, and I don't care where he went...as long as I am in my home, better that he leave.
Tomorrow is my birthday and we were supposed to have a marriage counseling appmt at 8 am.
Not to make excuses for him, but I think his fit came partly from being caught red-handed in lies and betrayals.
I deserve better. Either he will be better or I will find better.
I am not doing this drama, lying, unstable day to day thing.
Tomorrow is my birthday and we were supposed to have a marriage counseling appmt at 8 am.
Not to make excuses for him, but I think his fit came partly from being caught red-handed in lies and betrayals.
I deserve better. Either he will be better or I will find better.
I am not doing this drama, lying, unstable day to day thing.
A picture's worth a 1000 words
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: With any luck, I'm lost in a view finder
Posts: 2,954
Live....maybe this is a stupid question....but is it possible that he is bipolar or something else and is just undiagnosed?
I wish i had the energy to read the Pennies thread...struggling for energy every night these days it seems.
I wish i had the energy to read the Pennies thread...struggling for energy every night these days it seems.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
Friends, major happenings....I don't have the heart to re-recite it. It is post # 380 in pennies # 57.
Please read.
I need y'all down here, where I live, to know.
Teach, it is his son, my stepson.
I don't have to have anything to do with them except thro' hubs.
Oh, and yes, the counseling is helping altho' I cancelled all appmts for today.
Please read.
I need y'all down here, where I live, to know.
Teach, it is his son, my stepson.
I don't have to have anything to do with them except thro' hubs.
Oh, and yes, the counseling is helping altho' I cancelled all appmts for today.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
It has come to the point I want this man out of my life. This is not the man I knew and married and has stooped to levels I could never have dreamed of.
Still reports roll in and I am saddened to know that he is capable of such. I am ashamed of him.
Now it is the logistics, nuts and bolts of getting out considering the transitional financial situation I am in.
Any idealism in me is left wiped out.
I need out of this, I need out of here and the sooner the better.
He slandered me to my daughter and she bought it! Such loyalty and respect, eh? I said what I meant and hung up on her. She has a lot to learn.
He even tried to call exabf and even he has more loyalty than that.
Hope he tried my parents like my exH did......talk about cold water in the face, but he wouldn't do that...he went for the vulnerable, my daughter.
How can there be any respect or love left?
I can't find any.
Still reports roll in and I am saddened to know that he is capable of such. I am ashamed of him.
Now it is the logistics, nuts and bolts of getting out considering the transitional financial situation I am in.
Any idealism in me is left wiped out.
I need out of this, I need out of here and the sooner the better.
He slandered me to my daughter and she bought it! Such loyalty and respect, eh? I said what I meant and hung up on her. She has a lot to learn.
He even tried to call exabf and even he has more loyalty than that.
Hope he tried my parents like my exH did......talk about cold water in the face, but he wouldn't do that...he went for the vulnerable, my daughter.
How can there be any respect or love left?
I can't find any.
To Life!
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,293
It is post # 380 in pennies # 57.
I know it's your birthday...
I'm sorry it wasn't a happy one for you.
Please do something for you tomorrow. Leave the drama behind. Think only of YOU for the day....You deserve it.
Shalom!
A picture's worth a 1000 words
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: With any luck, I'm lost in a view finder
Posts: 2,954
HistoryTeach....somewhere there is another forum where i think each day someone starts a new thread called "Pennies for your Thoughts" or something like that.....
It is very active and gets quite long so i think possibly the number 380 refers to "comment #380" of that thread....which i think each day they number the thread ( So if the thread is "Pennies for your Thoughts #57" today then tomorrow it will be "Pennies for your Thoughts #58".)
I think....
I'm really kind of guessing b/c i tried to figure it out once before....
It is very active and gets quite long so i think possibly the number 380 refers to "comment #380" of that thread....which i think each day they number the thread ( So if the thread is "Pennies for your Thoughts #57" today then tomorrow it will be "Pennies for your Thoughts #58".)
I think....
I'm really kind of guessing b/c i tried to figure it out once before....
To Life!
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,293
I did find it, by following Live's threads. But, I wasn't able to follow exactly what happened, is what I meant. Other than that her husband is acting like a shmuck right now, and her daughter is being a shmuckette! 
Live, remember YOU today!
7
Shalom!
Live, remember YOU today!
7Shalom!
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