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Which Camp Are You In ?
Which Camp Are You In ?
Oh yes, I have heard this many, many times in AA over the years.
We all only have today -- One Day At A Time.
We all have the same amount of time if we have today sober.
Once when I didn't have much sober time I was in an AA meeting and an Old Timer shared, "if you don't think time sober means anything then try getting some !"
Man did that statement give me one big resentment.
Maybe it even kept me sober a few more days ?
But, today his remark made seems to make much sense to me.
I would put myself in both camps -- for both make sense to me.
Mountainman
We all only have today -- One Day At A Time.
We all have the same amount of time if we have today sober.
Once when I didn't have much sober time I was in an AA meeting and an Old Timer shared, "if you don't think time sober means anything then try getting some !"
Man did that statement give me one big resentment.
Maybe it even kept me sober a few more days ?
But, today his remark made seems to make much sense to me.
I would put myself in both camps -- for both make sense to me.
Mountainman
I think one day at a time is a great strategy very early on, but very quickly for me it turned to one week, one month, the next 2 months, etc., as the day to day thing got easier. I personally think it's dangerous to fixate too much on one day at a time, because the message is you're a pawn to circumstances and could relapse at any time - but you're not, and you won't if you don't want to, you're in charge of your own life. It can also leave the newly-sober folks with the (mistaken) impression that it will always be as hard as it is in early recovery, but of course it gets easier and easier over time. That is a really important message, it gets easier and easier over time.
So to me it depends where you are on the recovery path.
So to me it depends where you are on the recovery path.
Bob, yer always one with the tough questions. The obvious answer is both. The only time any of us have is Now....but string a few or more of well-lived days together and one gains wisdom....the clincher is we still have to Do now like it was yesterday...which is gone forever.
The best I ever heard anywhere by far was in a meeting in E. tennessee (central group in Johnson City--my home group for 8 yrs) by a guy named Dave. "If I have one foot in yesterday and the other in tomorrow, I'm gonna pea all over today" . I thought it was so hokey when I first heard it but repeated exposure (kept going back) gave me some insight. I now repeat it often. (just did
I'm stronger in my sobriety today --
I'm going to poop all over today.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++++++++++++++++
"if you don't think time sober means anything then try getting some !"
It makes sense because for sure I'm stronger in my sobriety today than I was when only one day sober or 30 days sober or even one year sober.
So does a person with one day of sobriety have the same amount of sober time as one with 5 years ?
Don't think so -- let us not fool ourselves yet again.
MB
I think one day at a time is a great strategy very early on, but very quickly for me it turned to one week, one month, the next 2 months, etc., as the day to day thing got easier. I personally think it's dangerous to fixate too much on one day at a time, because the message is you're a pawn to circumstances and could relapse at any time - but you're not, and you won't if you don't want to, you're in charge of your own life. It can also leave the newly-sober folks with the (mistaken) impression that it will always be as hard as it is in early recovery, but of course it gets easier and easier over time. That is a really important message, it gets easier and easier over time.
So to me it depends where you are on the recovery path.
So to me it depends where you are on the recovery path.
To each his own, but for me I never want to forget what it felt like to be 24 hours away from my last drink.
Here's the rub.
No matter which one you choose, someone will argue the other.
I'm accountable to no one but my HigherPower/God/Allah/Jesus/Doorknob/Nature/Buddha/Mohammed/HigherSelf/FlyingSpaghettiMonster.
Whatever anyone else thinks is their business.
No matter which one you choose, someone will argue the other.
I'm accountable to no one but my HigherPower/God/Allah/Jesus/Doorknob/Nature/Buddha/Mohammed/HigherSelf/FlyingSpaghettiMonster.
Whatever anyone else thinks is their business.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
sober time has simply allowed me to get my thoughts re-assembled and yeah its taken this long to get to this point and its gonna probably take a lot longer till i say i'm cured if that ever happens.
one of those the journey is more important then the destination kinda things.
That being said I could learn something from someone whos not sober at all and someone who's got decades of sobriety. Sober time doesnt always mean much either in terms of how beneficial you may be to someone else.
one of those the journey is more important then the destination kinda things.
That being said I could learn something from someone whos not sober at all and someone who's got decades of sobriety. Sober time doesnt always mean much either in terms of how beneficial you may be to someone else.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 273
Time being the same is just not true. The more time you have had to form healthier, positive habits and the longer ago it has been since you fed unhealthy habits, the less powerful those unhealthy habits are and the more powerful the healthy habits are. The brain changes.
On a social level, you don't need to look down on people who have less time or anything like that, or feel excessively proud. Just appreciate that it becomes easier to do the right thing the more you do it, harder to do the wrong thing the less you do it. Of course the reverse is true, and is why you got into the hole you did.
On a social level, you don't need to look down on people who have less time or anything like that, or feel excessively proud. Just appreciate that it becomes easier to do the right thing the more you do it, harder to do the wrong thing the less you do it. Of course the reverse is true, and is why you got into the hole you did.
Left the bottle behind 4/16/2015
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: NC
Posts: 1,416
Yeah, obviously time matters. If it didn't, then one guy serving a 20 year sentence for a crime would be just as free on day one as another guy who just finished his 20 year sentence today. That analogy may be a stretch, but alcoholism certainly does feel like a prison! I don't think there need be too much emphasis put on sober time because it can be discouraging and intimidating to someone very early in sobriety. But I do know that the more time I accumulate, the more confident I feel that I really can do this and make it last.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
The one day at a time concept really resonated with me when I joined AA
My first meeting the chairperson said he had ten years and that was something I couldn`t fathom. In addition I didn`t trust myself not to drink again but I could see myself not drinking just for today. No need to put pressure on myself.
What time in AA has given me is the experience to go through hardships without picking up a drink. A death, financial wreckage and job insecurity.
Once when I didn't have much sober time I was in an AA meeting and an Old Timer shared, "if you don't think time sober means anything then try getting some !"
Imo, that`s an ego trip and not something very helpful.
I`ve got over 20 years of continuous sobriety and can easily slap that card down but I rarely do.
For me it is more important what I do or say outside the rooms of AA than the other way around. Showing off in meeting is something I try not to do.
My first meeting the chairperson said he had ten years and that was something I couldn`t fathom. In addition I didn`t trust myself not to drink again but I could see myself not drinking just for today. No need to put pressure on myself.
What time in AA has given me is the experience to go through hardships without picking up a drink. A death, financial wreckage and job insecurity.
Once when I didn't have much sober time I was in an AA meeting and an Old Timer shared, "if you don't think time sober means anything then try getting some !"
Imo, that`s an ego trip and not something very helpful.
I`ve got over 20 years of continuous sobriety and can easily slap that card down but I rarely do.
For me it is more important what I do or say outside the rooms of AA than the other way around. Showing off in meeting is something I try not to do.
I think one day at a time is a great strategy very early on, but very quickly for me it turned to one week, one month, the next 2 months, etc., as the day to day thing got easier. I personally think it's dangerous to fixate too much on one day at a time, because the message is you're a pawn to circumstances and could relapse at any time - but you're not, and you won't if you don't want to, you're in charge of your own life. It can also leave the newly-sober folks with the (mistaken) impression that it will always be as hard as it is in early recovery, but of course it gets easier and easier over time. That is a really important message, it gets easier and easier over time.
So to me it depends where you are on the recovery path.
So to me it depends where you are on the recovery path.
KIR
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
It's important for those new to AA to see and hear from those with time to show it can be done .
However in aa status is often accorded those with the most time and I'm not sure if that's always a good thing
I didnt pick up today. You didn't either. It's all good.
Where my sober time might help others is by telling those who ask what I did early on in sobriety.
Or what I did during times of adversity and not pick up
r.
However in aa status is often accorded those with the most time and I'm not sure if that's always a good thing
I didnt pick up today. You didn't either. It's all good.
Where my sober time might help others is by telling those who ask what I did early on in sobriety.
Or what I did during times of adversity and not pick up
r.
I didn't get sober start the process of recovery to not grow. Were I never to get better than I was after my first day of sobriety then I can promise, I wouldn't have stacked up over 8 years of "one day at a time." The reason I keep going is NOT so I can stand pat....where I am.....and not continue to get better.
That said, there are certainly days, weeks, even months and quarters where I've been technically...physically....sober yet a quick glimpse into how I'm living would probably show I'm not all that much better now than I was on day 2.
Of course time matters......kinda.
That said, there are certainly days, weeks, even months and quarters where I've been technically...physically....sober yet a quick glimpse into how I'm living would probably show I'm not all that much better now than I was on day 2.
Of course time matters......kinda.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Like most I`m proud of my sobriety time (regret giving away my 20 year chip.) What time in sobriety has given me is a reservoir of experiences in which I didn`t feel compelled to drink which in turn allows me to grow.
The one day at a time philosophy allows me not to worry or think about drinking tomorrow. All I`m saying is I`m not drinking today. I find a lot of comfort in that especially since I used to break such a promise all the time before joining AA.
The one day at a time philosophy allows me not to worry or think about drinking tomorrow. All I`m saying is I`m not drinking today. I find a lot of comfort in that especially since I used to break such a promise all the time before joining AA.
I'm glad that I heard the Old Timer say,
"If you don't think that time sober means anything, then try getting some."
Because man, that wissed me off.
But, things said such as that make me think.
And it was something said, that I have never forgotten even after many years.
And, I did go out and get me some.
MB
"If you don't think that time sober means anything, then try getting some."
Because man, that wissed me off.
But, things said such as that make me think.
And it was something said, that I have never forgotten even after many years.
And, I did go out and get me some.
MB
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