I need to get serious
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
I need to get serious
I drank yesterday, I'm an idiot. I feel rather lucky though as I'm not hungover or going through withdrawal. I need to take sobriety more seriously. I am mad at myself right now. I becoming an expert at rationalizing. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
Yeah I'm a pro at coming up with a reason to drink I got buckets of reasons! I learned they where all just excuses to drink and I was fooling myself all along. Before you drink think about it you know the outcome tell yourself wtvr the end is never good when you drink even if I could drink just one I know I'd feel off the next day and be it hen for more.
Think it over first if you are happy to pay the price then by all means endulge
Think it over first if you are happy to pay the price then by all means endulge
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Originally Posted by zjw 
Yeah I'm a pro at coming up with a reason to drink I got buckets of reasons! I learned they where all just excuses to drink and I was fooling myself all along. Before you drink think about it you know the outcome tell yourself wtvr the end is never good when you drink even if I could drink just one I know I'd feel off the next day and be it hen for more.
Think it over first if you are happy to pay the price then by all means endulge
Think it over first if you are happy to pay the price then by all means endulge
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Originally Posted by Beccybean
Yep. If nothing changes, nothing changes.
What are you going to change to help you stick to your sobriety plan?
What are you going to change to help you stick to your sobriety plan?
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
As I sit here today, I am trying to think of one positive thing that came from drinking yesterday. I can't. Nothing. Its all so unnecessary. The thing is, I like being sober, I feel good, I think straight, I'm productive. What am I doing today? Nothing. Feeling a little off but not horrible. Need to set a goal for myself, something like 30 days or something. I don't know.
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 984
thomas11, I tried that same mental exercise, but with my career of drinking. I really couldn't come up with one true positive. Maybe a few things that I was at that were a lot of fun where there was alcohol. But I don't see how alcohol enhanced those events.
I could, however, sit down and probably 100+ things that weren't as good because of alcohol or should have been good, but I wound up forgetting a lot and then spending the next week or so feeling a lot of shame/embarassment/guilt.
I could, however, sit down and probably 100+ things that weren't as good because of alcohol or should have been good, but I wound up forgetting a lot and then spending the next week or so feeling a lot of shame/embarassment/guilt.
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 138
My days off are my weakest too. I have a plan for my next days. Worked on it while we were iced in. Things as minor as sort my sewing fabric, work in the garden if at all possible. Green house or contents need attention, all tasks associated with my hobbies. The work evening aren't so bad. Get up at 430, take the 3 wolves for a run, feed, go to work. Come home, tend the baby chicks, tortoises. Dinner. Laundry. Play with the 3 pups I am delivering out of state in 4 weeks. That visit will be hard. Daughter who lives near delivery area likes her evening rum and coke. I love moonshine, she called earlier said she picked me up some. Have to have the conversation with her I guess. She lives 900 miles away and has no clue. she is very black and white, very little grey, if I don't drink, I have to Explain.....see that.....my mind started telling me I could just drink there and leave it there....damn, sounds easier than her judgment.
Blessings to all. Thanks for listening.
Blessings to all. Thanks for listening.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,456
Posting here instead of drinking got me through my first weekends Thomas.
I had to make it as simple as possible back then - my house was 'dry'...if I didn't go and get it, or put myself in situations where others had alcohol, I would stay sober.
D
I had to make it as simple as possible back then - my house was 'dry'...if I didn't go and get it, or put myself in situations where others had alcohol, I would stay sober.
D
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,360
Originally Posted by thomas11
As I sit here today, I am trying to think of one positive thing that came from drinking yesterday. I can't. Nothing. Its all so unnecessary. The thing is, I like being sober, I feel good, I think straight, I'm productive. What am I doing today? Nothing. Feeling a little off but not horrible. Need to set a goal for myself, something like 30 days or something. I don't know.
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
I agree with all of you, something needs to change because the current weekends activities are not working. Every Sunday is the same damn thing, drinking water, trying to heal up as fast as possible. Tomorrow I will be back on track and I'll have a good week. Its simply a matter of discipline. I don't have any reason to drink, I just do.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 113
don't give up...
don't give up. We all slip up sometimes... just stay on the right path. I'm in a process of tapering... I had 4 today and it is 2 tomorrow... believe me, be happy you don't have a hangover or are going through withdrawals... this is what I'm going through and it does not feel too good.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
I think it's important to focus on the little things that make you feel good, and staying active that helps. I found weekends really hard in the first 6 months, and still do unless I make an effort. This is a typical weekend now - I have underlined the 'little things' and 'keeping active's that I wouldn't have enjoyed before, because I was either: in the pub; drunk; or my life was too chaotic to allow it.
I started the weekend (on Friday) with cooking myself my favourite dinner - even though it's a bit expensive, that's nothing compared with the money I'd have spent in a pub. - Sobriety isn't supposed to be a punishment and it's worth spending a little time and money on things you enjoy.
I then wrote some gratitudes for the day (to drive away any inclinations for self-pitying thoughts along the 'everyone else gets to go out and enjoy themselves, blah, blah, blah')
I then drove to the next town for an AA meeting (a new one to me) and met some lovely people and had a great chat (a bit like chatting in a pub, but without so much bull-poop and I got to remember some of it
)
Home to PJs on the radiator, and time for some chilling before bed at a reasonable time and a bed with fresh(ish) sheets.
Saturday I had a stroll around a nearby city; attended an AA lunchtime meeting there; and then went to catch up with some old sober friends who I never used to see much of in my pub days before heading home. In the evening I drove to a village where a band was playing - the music and dancing meant I didn't miss having a drink, and lots of other people had driven there too, so there was a good % of sober people (unlike in my old local which was full of heavy-drinkers, which was why I used to like it there).
Sunday I went to church, and was on toast duty (those people on the early shift are HUNGRY). I met some lovely people and had a good chat with some of my (new since sober) friends there, and actually enjoyed helping other people. I got the food shop done for the week, and made work lunches for Mon-Wed. I did some washing (so I wouldn't have to pick work clothes off of the bathroom floor to wear come Monday) and made chilli for Mon / Wed when I'm later back from work (I used to end up getting some junk food because I was still recovering from the weekend). Then I went to my home AA meeting and saw my favourite sober people and enjoyed the chat. When home I would usually call my mother - something that I actually enjoy now I don't begrudge her the time. Gratitude list.
So. Nothing major. Little things that mean I'm not isolating myself. Mixing with other sober people (which wasn't easy at first, but gets easier). Helping others (there was a lot of self-loathing for me to get through - helping others helps me to get over that). Keeping busy. Looking after myself and my home / sanctuary so that it's a good place to be.
It's not a exactly riotous, but I have become calmer and am able to enjoy more simple things now.
I started the weekend (on Friday) with cooking myself my favourite dinner - even though it's a bit expensive, that's nothing compared with the money I'd have spent in a pub. - Sobriety isn't supposed to be a punishment and it's worth spending a little time and money on things you enjoy.
I then wrote some gratitudes for the day (to drive away any inclinations for self-pitying thoughts along the 'everyone else gets to go out and enjoy themselves, blah, blah, blah')
I then drove to the next town for an AA meeting (a new one to me) and met some lovely people and had a great chat (a bit like chatting in a pub, but without so much bull-poop and I got to remember some of it
)Home to PJs on the radiator, and time for some chilling before bed at a reasonable time and a bed with fresh(ish) sheets.
Saturday I had a stroll around a nearby city; attended an AA lunchtime meeting there; and then went to catch up with some old sober friends who I never used to see much of in my pub days before heading home. In the evening I drove to a village where a band was playing - the music and dancing meant I didn't miss having a drink, and lots of other people had driven there too, so there was a good % of sober people (unlike in my old local which was full of heavy-drinkers, which was why I used to like it there).
Sunday I went to church, and was on toast duty (those people on the early shift are HUNGRY). I met some lovely people and had a good chat with some of my (new since sober) friends there, and actually enjoyed helping other people. I got the food shop done for the week, and made work lunches for Mon-Wed. I did some washing (so I wouldn't have to pick work clothes off of the bathroom floor to wear come Monday) and made chilli for Mon / Wed when I'm later back from work (I used to end up getting some junk food because I was still recovering from the weekend). Then I went to my home AA meeting and saw my favourite sober people and enjoyed the chat. When home I would usually call my mother - something that I actually enjoy now I don't begrudge her the time. Gratitude list.
So. Nothing major. Little things that mean I'm not isolating myself. Mixing with other sober people (which wasn't easy at first, but gets easier). Helping others (there was a lot of self-loathing for me to get through - helping others helps me to get over that). Keeping busy. Looking after myself and my home / sanctuary so that it's a good place to be.
It's not a exactly riotous, but I have become calmer and am able to enjoy more simple things now.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Originally Posted by Beccybean
I think it's important to focus on the little things that make you feel good, and staying active that helps. I found weekends really hard in the first 6 months, and still do unless I make an effort. This is a typical weekend now - I have underlined the 'little things' and 'keeping active's that I wouldn't have enjoyed before, because I was either: in the pub; drunk; or my life was too chaotic to allow it.
I started the weekend (on Friday) with cooking myself my favourite dinner - even though it's a bit expensive, that's nothing compared with the money I'd have spent in a pub. - Sobriety isn't supposed to be a punishment and it's worth spending a little time and money on things you enjoy.
I then wrote some gratitudes for the day (to drive away any inclinations for self-pitying thoughts along the 'everyone else gets to go out and enjoy themselves, blah, blah, blah')
I then drove to the next town for an AA meeting (a new one to me) and met some lovely people and had a great chat (a bit like chatting in a pub, but without so much bull-poop and I got to remember some of it )
Home to PJs on the radiator, and time for some chilling before bed at a reasonable time and a bed with fresh(ish) sheets.
Saturday I had a stroll around a nearby city; attended an AA lunchtime meeting there; and then went to catch up with some old sober friends who I never used to see much of in my pub days before heading home. In the evening I drove to a village where a band was playing - the music and dancing meant I didn't miss having a drink, and lots of other people had driven there too, so there was a good % of sober people (unlike in my old local which was full of heavy-drinkers, which was why I used to like it there).
Sunday I went to church, and was on toast duty (those people on the early shift are HUNGRY). I met some lovely people and had a good chat with some of my (new since sober) friends there, and actually enjoyed helping other people. I got the food shop done for the week, and made work lunches for Mon-Wed. I did some washing (so I wouldn't have to pick work clothes off of the bathroom floor to wear come Monday) and made chilli for Mon / Wed when I'm later back from work (I used to end up getting some junk food because I was still recovering from the weekend). Then I went to my home AA meeting and saw my favourite sober people and enjoyed the chat. When home I would usually call my mother - something that I actually enjoy now I don't begrudge her the time. Gratitude list.
So. Nothing major. Little things that mean I'm not isolating myself. Mixing with other sober people (which wasn't easy at first, but gets easier). Helping others (there was a lot of self-loathing for me to get through - helping others helps me to get over that). Keeping busy. Looking after myself and my home / sanctuary so that it's a good place to be.
It's not a exactly riotous, but I have become calmer and am able to enjoy more simple things now.
I started the weekend (on Friday) with cooking myself my favourite dinner - even though it's a bit expensive, that's nothing compared with the money I'd have spent in a pub. - Sobriety isn't supposed to be a punishment and it's worth spending a little time and money on things you enjoy.
I then wrote some gratitudes for the day (to drive away any inclinations for self-pitying thoughts along the 'everyone else gets to go out and enjoy themselves, blah, blah, blah')
I then drove to the next town for an AA meeting (a new one to me) and met some lovely people and had a great chat (a bit like chatting in a pub, but without so much bull-poop and I got to remember some of it
)Home to PJs on the radiator, and time for some chilling before bed at a reasonable time and a bed with fresh(ish) sheets.
Saturday I had a stroll around a nearby city; attended an AA lunchtime meeting there; and then went to catch up with some old sober friends who I never used to see much of in my pub days before heading home. In the evening I drove to a village where a band was playing - the music and dancing meant I didn't miss having a drink, and lots of other people had driven there too, so there was a good % of sober people (unlike in my old local which was full of heavy-drinkers, which was why I used to like it there).
Sunday I went to church, and was on toast duty (those people on the early shift are HUNGRY). I met some lovely people and had a good chat with some of my (new since sober) friends there, and actually enjoyed helping other people. I got the food shop done for the week, and made work lunches for Mon-Wed. I did some washing (so I wouldn't have to pick work clothes off of the bathroom floor to wear come Monday) and made chilli for Mon / Wed when I'm later back from work (I used to end up getting some junk food because I was still recovering from the weekend). Then I went to my home AA meeting and saw my favourite sober people and enjoyed the chat. When home I would usually call my mother - something that I actually enjoy now I don't begrudge her the time. Gratitude list.
So. Nothing major. Little things that mean I'm not isolating myself. Mixing with other sober people (which wasn't easy at first, but gets easier). Helping others (there was a lot of self-loathing for me to get through - helping others helps me to get over that). Keeping busy. Looking after myself and my home / sanctuary so that it's a good place to be.
It's not a exactly riotous, but I have become calmer and am able to enjoy more simple things now.
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