Berrybean

No problem. I could never have done it alone (still couldn't). I know it's not everyone's thing, but AA (the people I've met through it, and the principles and guidance) have really helped me start to change. Although I've still got a long way to go. Just finished step 3 yesterday (although I know steps 1 - 3 are ongoing work).

I know how hard it is to stay away from heavy drinkers. My partner still is one. But at least it was only him that got to spew all over himself when he finally got in last night. (Ewww. Silly man!)

Good luck. Maybe this is the time that you'll decide to stop digging.

thomas11

Just some random thoughts I've had to day. I was a very serious athlete through high school, college and into my late 20's. Besides supporting myself with a job, my training was always top priority. I've gone months and months without a drop of alcohol. how? Simple, discipline, and the simple fact I wanted other things in my life more than a hangover. So I know I have it in me, its in there somewhere.

I think back on those years and I've done some pretty difficult things. I've run thousands of miles cutting weight, I've spent thousands of hours in the gym, watched every morsel of food that went into my mouth, sweat gallons upon gallons tuning my body for peak performance. I started a business out of the blue, had no experience, just went for it. But the damn drinking on the weekends for some reason is becoming a formidable challenge.

I also understand people have different approaches to sobriety. I believe for myself, breaking it down to its simplest form is what is going to work. Not try to strategize, or over think it. Just don't go the liquor store, and don't drink.

zjw

I read in alan carrs book on quiting smoking as pertains to cigarettes. that the non smoker doesnt wonder around wishing he could have a cigarette. The non smoker doesnt look forward to it or give it any thought at all. He went on to explain how smoking takes so much effort you gotta go buy it you gotta work for the money for it you gotta open the pack you gotta light it up and take the time needed to smoke the cigarette etc.. While not smoking is simple you simply just dont do it.

The same could be applid to drinking.

Not drinking really is that simple just dont drink. But our minds work overtime to turn it into this big complex issue. spinning it this way spinnign it that way making it out like its this HUGE thing. and hte min we grasp the simplicity of just not drinking BAM the mind starts the game again.

But it is a whole lot easier to simply not drink then to drink. We are just confused about this sometimes.

thomas11

ZJW, that makes perfect sense. My wife and don't smoke, neither one us think about it for even one second. Its just not in our brains. Through running my business I've met quite a few people that don't drink, and I'm envious. Its just not part of their lives and they don't dwell on it. Instead they have wonderful lives water skiing, going places, kids in sports. Ya know, real life stuff.

Berrybean

You obviously have lots of will-power (like most alcoholics) The thing is, that strong self-will of ours can be our biggest enemy as well as an asset. Todays (3rd March) reflection really spoke to me, and reminded me that I'm supposed to be keeping my self-will in check (as I promised my sponsor I would).

I liken my self-will to a bar of slippery-soap in a cloudy bath. It's like it's fellow false-friend, anger, in that for years I thought that my 'stubborn' and wilful nature gave me strength,​ It's only now (finally, in my 42nd year) that I realise how wrong this is. I remember my anger (in its many forms) and stubbornness being those things that my father encouraged. They were what made me like him I suppose. But then he, like me (I believe) had / has a dependence on alcohol.

Alcoholics Anonymous : Daily Reflection

So. I will carry on trying to keep a hold of my self will. It's no good thrashing about and grabbing for it. That will only end in a comic-book style tragic-comedy. I need to fish for it carefully and methodically (using my daily routines), and once I have it I need to cradle it gently and safely with both hands until I have kept it in a dry place long enough for it to become less slippery so that I can grasp it properly. And in the meantime I am trying to learn to have more faith, and trust my higher power. It's all so difficult. But then, no-one said it'd be easy. They just said it'd be worth it. And I know that they are right.

markz

Yes many need this and need that, but what do you want?
If you really wanted sobriety with all your heart, blood, sweat and tears.....you would not have drank. Its as simple as that. Pain is the essence of change. To tell you the truth, everyone who goes back out drinking again has not had enough pain in their life, o r in their drunks. They have to hit a bottom. A bottom sufficient enough to change. They have to want change from the bottom of their hearts. Because with that, they are willing to do whatever it takes to change the way they were. A lot of people, do a lot of lip service, yet their actions speak louder then the words they speak.

doggonecarl

I'm not sure advice is going to keep you sober this weekend. You've gotten plenty to date, and it didn't keep you sober yesterday.

You compared recovery to athletic training. Okay. Well, you didn't get in shape by "talking" about training, or "thinking" about training, or "making promises" to train.

You trained.

You don't get sober talking about it, or thinking about it, or promising to get more serious about. You take action in your recovery. Your decision to get sober is nothing more than that. A decision. An idea. Do something to support your decision to get sober.

Again, the training analogy...some folks can get in shape by themselves. Some need a lot of help. A gym, trainers, the company of others in training. Same with recovery. You've failed to get sober by yourself.

Find help. Face-to-face recovery training.

thomas11

markz and doggonecarl, I know you guys right, and you know your right. Words mean nothing without action. Heck, I offer that very same advice to people. This weekend provides another opportunity to take action.

As far as hitting bottom, not sure I have. But don't want to. My family members have said they think I'm "hardcore" always taking things to the end point. Well, after reading hundreds of posts on this site, I'm not real excited about having a seizure, a trip to the ER or a stint in impatient rehab. Or a stroke.

ScottFromWI

There is always a lower bottom...until you are dead. People die every day from alcohol. Even here on SR we hear about those that have been part of our community and end up dying because they returned to drinking one too many times and died.

I know that sounds pretty extreme, but it's 100% true. The good news is that it is also 100% preventable, and you have absolute control over the outcome. Rather than worrying about when you are going to hit another bottom, you can also accept your problem with alcohol and actively work to correct it. And you can find many of the tools you need to do so right here on SR.

Derringer

See title

August252015

"I need to take sobriety more seriously" - thomas11/Jeff

Jeff, it seems this is kinda where you are again....

August252015

This isn't just for Jeff, it's absolutely critical for any of us who insist on continuing to look for another basement. Which will be the last you reach? Death? I finally realized I didn't want to die, and had to figure out how to live.

We don't get infinite chances.

scaredikklegoth

The Alcoholic Voice is the most insidious and persuasive voice I've ever know and I've had anxiety and depression issues all my life. Just keep going, that's all we can do.

NYCDoglvr

Maybe it helps to realize that denial and rationalization are hallmarks of alcoholism. I couldn't stop drinking on my own so went to AA, where the support of other alcoholics helped me quit and stay sober (28 years). For me it was a life-or-death situation and I knew if I didn't stop I would die. Big hug!