Originally Posted by DeanChev
I had a plan, and I made it 11 days sober until temptation over took me. I know many people deal with the same exact thing and it's up to me to be successful. There aren't any AA meetings around my area, I just need better self control.
If you're an alcoholic, self control won't do much for very long, unfortunately. If self control were the answer, there wouldn't be any programs of recovery out there. Temptation, obsession of the mind, alcoholism...will always win out. It has the very powerful tools of justification and rationalization at it's fingertips and has fear, resentment and self-will as fuel. These things we can't escape. I could not do it on my own. My own best plans and best thinking got me arrested, kicked out of my house, into hospitals and then into detox and then into treatment. That was me at my utmost peak of effectiveness!
I think about my health risks and it doesn't seem to bother me, which is why I am really worried, that just the thought of getting health issues doesn't make me stop
I was exactly the same. I would sit with a bottle of vodka next to my computer while I Googled "alcoholic deaths" and "effects of alcohol on body" and watch horrific pictures and tragic stories and medical catastrophes and still pounded the stuff back. We don't "scare straight" very well, do we?
Check if there are any outlying AA meetings, as you said there aren't any in your immediate area - may be a bit of a trek perhaps, but it can save your life. Time and gas never stopped me from getting my booze...so why should it stop me from getting sober?
I hope you find what you seek