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Old 07-08-2008, 01:59 PM   #1 (permalink)

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5 questions to ask when looking for an AA sponsor

I will have to do this soon I'm sure. What questions would you ask when looking for a sponsor?
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Old 07-08-2008, 02:43 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Gosh I hope someone will post the link to the AA liturature which includes a pamflet on sponsorship.....You really should read that first if you can...if no one posts it here for you, pm me and i'll find it and send it to you...hectic night for me so will be late.

Get a temporary one first maybe and tell them you want them to go over that pamflet with you and help you figure out how to choose a sponsor.

My sponsor is someone I respect and who respects me. she shares her expereince strenght and hope with me. She doesn't tell me wht to do, although she sometimes suggests what might be a good idea. She tells how it worked before and encourages me by sharing her ESH on the steps and encouraging me as I work through the steps with her.

The pamflet is great.
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Old 07-08-2008, 03:01 PM   #3 (permalink)

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Thanks for posting this.

There is more to AA then just going to meetings. I have never done any more than just go to meetings.

This time I think I need to actually get sober and work the steps.

I don't know how to go about getting a sponsor? How long should I wait until I get one? Are you supposed to just ask someone?
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Old 07-08-2008, 03:10 PM   #4 (permalink)
To Thine Own Self Be True
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As I have been told, you have to ask. That is taking part in your recovery. For me, I was told to go and listen to women (or men if you are a man) share and choose someone who seems to have something you want. I have a womens meeting that I go to where they ask at the end of the meeting that all women who are willing to sponsor to please raise their hand. This is extremely helpful!

I actually asked two women to be my sponsor in my first few days and both of them offered their number but did not have the time to sponsor me. I was a little hurt so I went and asked my HP to guide me and help me to choose the right sponsor. The very next night my sponsor came up to me at a meeting (I think I had met her once) and said "Hi! You have 8 days right?" I thought it was so cool that she knew that. I barely knew that. Then she shared in the meeting and she had such peace about her and self acceptance of herself that I knew I wanted that!

I asked and she was thrilled! Last night when she gave me my 60 day chip she shared how I came into her life and exactly the time she needed me. And then told me that my being her sponsee was me performing service as well. Aaahhh.

Good luck :ghug For me, I know that the changes I see today come from my participation in my recovery, working the steps and being of service. Putting down the bottle is not responsible for my growth, my hard work is.
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Old 07-08-2008, 03:12 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Here's the pamphlet on Questions and Answers on Sponsorship:


Hope this helps.

Love and hugs,

God Bless You All As You Trudge The Road
Of Happy Destiny (especially when you are
trudgin thru alligators up to your butt)
Sobriety: AA June 7, 1981
Codependency: Alanon June 7, 1984
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Old 07-08-2008, 03:29 PM   #6 (permalink)

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Reading the pamphlet and praying for wisdom worked for me.
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Old 07-08-2008, 03:51 PM   #7 (permalink)
Forward we go...side by side
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I agree with Laurie...
go to a meeting and get the pamphlet
so you can refer to it easily.

Sitting down with your new sponsor
and discussing that information is a wise idea.

Each Day Sober Is A Victory!!
Joy In AA Recovery!

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Old 07-08-2008, 06:00 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I don`t ask questions,I look at how they live inside the meetings and outside.Anyone can talk a good talk inside the meetings,it`s outside where it really matters.If I had to find a new sponsor today,first I would pray about it.God send me what I need apparently
one day at a time
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Old 07-08-2008, 06:16 PM   #9 (permalink)
Om, Aum, Ohm...
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Two questions that come to mind: Do you have a sponsor? Have you taken/worked the steps?

Peace & Love,
There's a train leaving nightly called when all is said and done.
ANS 1/29/86-8/4/08
DAS 2/27/73-5/11/10
AJH 6/1/69-6/16/12
MLM 7/11/61-1/14/13
CAS 6/27/77-4/6/14

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Old 07-08-2008, 06:26 PM   #10 (permalink)

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Here is my spin on it:

a. Did you work the steps out of the Big Book?
b. Are you recovered from alcoholism? How do you know?
c. Are there more promises than the ones they read in the meetings?
d. How long do I have to wait to get this thing? ( trick question, the answer should
be you don't have to wait)
I strongly suggest getting a sponsor who has worked ( practiced as a way of life) the steps out of the big book. And the questions I gave you will give you some indication. Run away from the sit down and shut up crowd, run farther away from the just don't drink and go to meetings people. Seek out a recovered alcoholic, they have answers to your drinking problem. If you do that, your chances of having a happy life will increase
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Old 07-09-2008, 03:58 AM   #11 (permalink)
Follow Directions!
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I really concur with what navysteve said.

In detox they told me to go to at least 90 AA meetings in 90 days and get a sponsor (same sex). Well I was given the gift of desperation and the very first meeting I went to, the day I got out of detox I asked a guy to be my sponsor......... he said "No, but I will be your temporary sponsor."

I am thankful for that today, we sat down and talked about what I should look for in regards to a long term sponsor, here are some of the things he suggested:

1. Look for some one who has what you want.
2. Look for some one who not only talks the talk, but walks the walk.
3. Find out if they have worked the steps according to the BB.
4. Find some one you can trust. (Not a gossip)
5. Find someone who is not seeking to be your boss, but who offers you thier ESH and makes suggestions to you based on thier ESH.
6. Ask if they have a sponsor. (If you are asking an old timer they may tell you that thier sponsor died, that is cool, they have been a sponsee)

One very important thing for you to know that I tell all of my sponsees, this is your program, not mine, if you are not comfortable with me it is your right to get another sponsor. It is your sobriety, a good sponsor should be able to handle a sponsee telling them "Hey, I found another sponsor."

I was worried that my original temporary sponsor would be hurt or angry when I told him I had found a long term sponsor, he wasn't....... he gave me a hug and told me that the guy I had chosen was a good man and a good sponsor as well.
All BB quotes are from the First Edition of the BB

Follow directions!

Sobriety date 18 Sept. 2006

Sober today thanks to AA
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Old 07-10-2008, 12:24 PM   #12 (permalink)
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This is a good thread, thank you. I really struggled with finding a sponsor, and still have a hard time contacting him now that I have one. This is one of my character flaws.
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Old 07-12-2008, 06:21 AM   #13 (permalink)
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This IS a great thread.

Another thing, do NOT expect your sponsor to be your buddy and friend. It may turn out that way, but true friendship is built over time and trust.
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Old 04-18-2012, 06:45 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Thumbs up

This is an old thread but has some good stuff about looking for a sponsor.
Clean Date 08~20~12
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Old 04-18-2012, 10:42 AM   #15 (permalink)

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Looks like the OP was here for a few weeks in 2008.

Prayers for those MIA.

Bob R
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Old 04-18-2012, 07:15 PM   #16 (permalink)

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Go up to the chairman after the meeting and tell her/him that you need a sponsor.Usually they will direct you to someone qualified to help you and you don't have to do more than this.
When we are new we can't use elaborate methods or we'll never find someone.
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Old 04-19-2012, 05:08 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Sugah View Post
Two questions that come to mind: Do you have a sponsor? Have you taken/worked the steps?

Peace & Love,

These two are the most important ones. You want someone who has already been through the steps at least once and who works with their own sponsor as well as the big book. This is how I chose my sponsor.
Friend of Bill
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