Just Randy

I was sober/clean for 20 years. And and couple of years ago, I made the mistake of thinking I could get away with just a glass of wine now and then. And I did...for about a month. I'm now back at it every day and loosing all that I'd gained. I'm so messed up right now I can't describe it. I just don't have a soul to talk to. I'm a soldier by profession and a pitifull excuse for a Christian. I mix with "Church folk" like vineagar and soda, most civilians can't even begin to understand me. Just to talk to someone who understands -- why is it so hard to find?

daddysgirl29

Hey JR. Can you get to a meeting, or call someone to come get you and take you to one? They'll talk to you, and listen, if you have the desire to stop.

amymarie

Hi JR and welcome to SR...
There is so much good recovery by so many different means here...look around and I am sure you will find a way...
Prayers your way...
amymarie

blessed22

Just hang in there for I know how u feel for I had 4 years before and thought I can handle it one more time. now it's 3 plus years later and I'm clean now because I need to stay clean. God will handle all the problem that u may have.

Much love Michael

Just Randy

Thanks all. I'm trying to get into a Celebrate Recovery group but they seem very sporatic. Without trying to be offensive to those who's faith is not in Christ, I just can't do the "generic" higher power thing anymore. Not after all that God has done for me. I'm just so darned lost at the moment. And of course the booze just makes it worse. Perhaps the most misserable creature on earth is a backslidden Christian.

aasharon90

Hi, Im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic.

Thanks for sharing Just Randy.

You are in a good place. There is some good recovery in here if u stick around and read their post.

20 yrs is nothing to sneeze at but for my self at 15 i know that all i have is today. 20 and 15 is only an acummulation of many one days at a time added together.

U do have the knowlege and the tools of how to stay sober. Just staying sober with out working a program or the 12 Steps just isn't gonna work for us. When we incorporate the 12 steps in our daily life then we r living a more happier, joyous and free sober life as promised to us in the Big Book.

Ok, so many do fall off the wagon, but having the COURAGE to brush urself off, pick up that DESIRE chip and go out and share ur own EXPERIENCE, STRENGTHS AND HOPES with the NEWCOMERS then that will help u begin ur new journey to stay sober ONE DAY AT A TIME.

I would like to know for myself hearing ur own experiences, strengths and hopes on what it was like before when drinking, during drinking and after u got sober to today. What can i learn from u at 15 yrs to help me from going back out there.

I do believe in my Higher Power whom i chose to call God has given me another chance in life. The do His Will today and not mine, because my will never works. His Will for me is to help other Alcoholics stay sober by sharing my own ESH with them.

I would hope u would put down the drink and pick up the tools of recovery once again that are so freely given to us and pass it on.

Love and Care.

Thanks for letting me share.