malcolmsloan

I had my first drink at 12. I came home drunk on my 13th birthday and my parents caught me. These two events kicked off a pattern that has continued to present day: drinking-quitting-drinking-quitting. I'm 42 now. Looking back, I see that at first the periods between drinking and sobriety were sometimes months. Then over time, weeks. Days. 8 Years ago, I went for 1.5 years without a drink. Lost over 30 pouns. Was in the best shape of my life. Got a great job. Then, at a Christmas party, I had 1 beer. I don't know why. I thought I could handle it. For a while I did handle it and actually drank in moderation, but in about a year I was back to drinking every night. In the last 6 years, I have not had more than 4 days sober. I have a wife I love very much and two amazing children. I have everything to live for, but once the night rolls around, I cannot keep myself from drinking. Then I found this site, 3 days ago. It was a random discovery as I was searching around with no real purpose, just hoping to come across something connected with sobriety that would help. I signed up. As I did so, I had to announce my sober birthday. As soon as I did that, something felt different. I felt like I had something to be accountable for. Then I posted that I was embarking on my first night sober, and I recieved a series of supportive comments. People were out there! They understood. Right now, I'm only 3 days sober, but this community has made all the difference.

Venecia

Yes, there are people who understand! Moderation isn't in the cards for us.

You can do this, Malcolm. Life is so much better sober.

zhask

Moderation isn't for alot of us, not all of us. Let that just be clear.

Suekie

I have found this site to be so very supportive also. One day at a time..

Neekeee

While I was reading this I just kept thinking of how I connected to this post. I too had my first drink at 12 and first visit to the hospital for alcohol poisoning at 13. The periods between my binge drinking and periods of abstaining have varied as I grew older but overall become shorter and shorter. I am only 23 now but I can't seem to go more than 3-4 days without a drink and tend to have a hard time staying sober once nighttime rolls around as well.

I just want to say thank you for posting this as it has really encouraged me in the fact that we are not alone in this struggle. Good luck on your path to recovery.

jodin

i find the weekends the worst i dont drink during the week but then i drink to much on the weekend

minnieminx

Me too Jodin. I live my life wishing the days away until Friday. I usually cheat midweek too. This is my second day sober now. I started again.

phoenix108

yeah, i'm not sure what to do with downtime as i'm such a functional alcoholic...Joke...so i'm being real cautious right now so i don't trip up and make a decision that jeopardizes my integrity and self-worth...work out and gardening seem to be pretty safe...something that fills my heart and body up w good energy. My goal is to have a support group (from ya'll) and locally too...

christimc

I love this place too! I agree once you put in that sobriety date you kind of own it with pride. I'm loving this site and I'm only three days in too but we can do this!!