kritter

hi All

i would like to start a discussion on the topic of using mind altering substances (other than your drug of choice/the one you became addicted to).

i am a sober alcoholic of 7 years and have never used any other mind altering substance other than caffeine or nicotine or anti-depressants.

an addiction specialist once shared his opinion with me that the mind remembers the chemical reactions and results of those that took place when you used your drug of choice; and that if you use another mind-altering substance the mind says oh yeah, that's good but what i really want is... and then you end up using your drug of choice again eventually.

has anyone had any experience with this? has anyone relapsed this way? has anyone used other mind-altering substances other than their drug of choice without eventually picking-up their drug of choice?

does anyone have any relapse stories they would like to share that either relate to this topic or just any other stories that would shed light to others on how to see the signs leading up to a relapse?

i am finding it difficult atm as i do not relate well to the people in the sober community in which i participate in recovery. i do not like to socialize with any of the members outside recovery meetings and barely like to socialize with them at all. i don't go out socially hardly ever as i am a mother and the nights i don't have my son i usually work. i have at most one night off a week that i could do something social.

i know i should do something that interests me like joining a choir or going to a painting class where i could meet like minded people but i want to go dancing. maybe i need to find a dancing partner who doesn't drink either and we could go out together. hmm, that's an idea. has anyone ever done that? girls or boys?

lot's of topics surfacing here. feel free to respond with anything really. just need to reach out to others in recovery.

be happy, kritter

Dee74

Hi and welcome Kritter

I was an alcoholic and pot smoker, Both of those destroyed my life at various times.

It is true that getting high, whatever method, lowered my inhibitions and led me to bad decisions and old behaviours and old addictions time and time again.

But I think it goes deeper than drug x versus drug y Kritter.

For me getting high was all about escape - it was about filling that hole in me...scratching that unscratchable itch.

That was the problem for me - it wasn't any one particular drug, and it was all of them....it was the filling of the void within me.

I healed the void. I found a me and a life I love in recovery.
I no longer have a need to escape.

There is a life beyond getting high - & I'm glad I found it.

Why would you escape one pair of shackles just to wear another Kritter?

D

kritter

...i can totally relate to that. i have been evolving spiritually and emotionally but i still sometimes get that unscratchable itch. it is definitely when i am not taking the actions that i know help me to feel more comfortable in my own skin. sometimes i feel pissy though. i get the poor me's and think why can't i just get to a consistent place where i am generally peaceful enough that i am not seeking more or less. my mind begins to ruminate and question why i gotta work so hard all the time just to be okay. sometimes the only rest i feel i get is when i am asleep. that's the way i felt when i used to make excuses to drink. that i deserved a break cuz it was all just never ending uphill trudgery...

Dee74

I think most of us have experience with that sense of entitlement...the ;reward fixation' or else that inner brat who says - why can't I do what they do and suffer no consequences?

It helped me a lot to concentrate on moving my focus off the short term to the medium term or the long term...there's always a price to pay for getting high...and I'm no longer prepared to pay that price

D

kritter

hi,
thanks for your words. it helps to remember i am not the only one who experiences these things.

kritter

MalkavianEmily

well, that is weird timing, since i've just come back from a relapse that started with me using something else (pot). and yes i found myself thinking "well, it's ok, but codeine's better." and after four days... i was back on that again. or, more precisely, both together... it only took another day before my feet were taking me into any branch of boots i passed...

it was... educational. as dee says, while some drugs are 'better' than others, i'll take pretty much anything i can get, it seems. [and can i say, i've never thought of caffeine as mind altering... and i do drink a lot of coffee.]

kritter

hi Emily, thanks for sharing. it was that quick eh? scary stuff. my addictive voice tells me that i could just try something else besides my drug of choice once and see how it goes. it tells me i can control it ha ha what a sick joke that is. as if i have any control once i start.