the avant-garde dreamlike state of denial and severe pacifism
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 36
the avant-garde dreamlike state of denial and severe pacifism
So this is where I am now. I only wish to post to connect my self to others...I can't do it by simple stating: I have a problem. Yes, myself and I need to use fancy words to display my issues.. I'm an artist at nature, but that doesn't do much for me socially.
I still dunno where I am, but perhaps I could use the words "desperate" and such to show who I am. I dunno what's going on in my life and alcohol serves to confuse me. I think to much, I "feel" to much, and I obsess about things. So ya, that's where I am, wishing to allow myself to feel things once again and reunite with any human desires. I still have those...you know, compassion, guilt, regret, love, everything good and bad all at once.
Before I made the post in the "introduction area" I was just floating in space, literally not leaving my apartment, dismissing social engagements as "stupid", and the like. Using alcohol has been a huge release for me, emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically. That's where I am, a huge ******* "?", but I have a problem, I know that know, that's about it. Let the voyage commence.
K, I'm gonna explain more of what I post. Spiritually? I'm open. I use philosophy, science, and the like plus strong deductive reasoning to create who I am. Emotionally, almost not there, really. I've allowed myself to cry and experience things recently - it's doing wonders for myself, but I'm still confused. Phsyically? I don't sleep well (sleep apnea), and I also like to binge eat. I can go for a long while (2 years) with eating well, exercising, and amazingly I lost 100 pounds at one point (gained 40 of those pounds back). I understand the impact that exercise has on a person. Ima start back on my routine soon. I hope. It really helps the mind in many more ways since it's a simple (well not simple, hahahahaha), organ just like anything else.
I still dunno where I am, but perhaps I could use the words "desperate" and such to show who I am. I dunno what's going on in my life and alcohol serves to confuse me. I think to much, I "feel" to much, and I obsess about things. So ya, that's where I am, wishing to allow myself to feel things once again and reunite with any human desires. I still have those...you know, compassion, guilt, regret, love, everything good and bad all at once.
Before I made the post in the "introduction area" I was just floating in space, literally not leaving my apartment, dismissing social engagements as "stupid", and the like. Using alcohol has been a huge release for me, emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically. That's where I am, a huge ******* "?", but I have a problem, I know that know, that's about it. Let the voyage commence.
K, I'm gonna explain more of what I post. Spiritually? I'm open. I use philosophy, science, and the like plus strong deductive reasoning to create who I am. Emotionally, almost not there, really. I've allowed myself to cry and experience things recently - it's doing wonders for myself, but I'm still confused. Phsyically? I don't sleep well (sleep apnea), and I also like to binge eat. I can go for a long while (2 years) with eating well, exercising, and amazingly I lost 100 pounds at one point (gained 40 of those pounds back). I understand the impact that exercise has on a person. Ima start back on my routine soon. I hope. It really helps the mind in many more ways since it's a simple (well not simple, hahahahaha), organ just like anything else.
Last edited by Brentos; 04-17-2009 at 02:32 AM.
Hello, Brentos.
I have problems with alcohol and food. When I'm not drinking, I really have to watch myself on the food thing. It gets out of control in a hurry.
Exercise wise I'm starting out with walking again. I do it whenever I'm not too tired. I'm going to make myself do it tonight after work...it was too cold to walk this morning.
Hang in there. Sometimes taking small steps to big changes is the way to go. I do this by incorporating more fruits into my diet in an attempt to phase out the junk. And walking isn't so bad, especially when I can listen to music while I do it. Keep your head up.
I have problems with alcohol and food. When I'm not drinking, I really have to watch myself on the food thing. It gets out of control in a hurry.
Exercise wise I'm starting out with walking again. I do it whenever I'm not too tired. I'm going to make myself do it tonight after work...it was too cold to walk this morning.
Hang in there. Sometimes taking small steps to big changes is the way to go. I do this by incorporating more fruits into my diet in an attempt to phase out the junk. And walking isn't so bad, especially when I can listen to music while I do it. Keep your head up.
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 36
Walking is the best. I used to go on long, epic walks over here on Toronto's waterfront - it has some great atmosphere. Tunes are needed too. I'm gonna get back into that since the good weather is now here (hopefully to stay!).
I hear you when you say it gets outta control really fast. I get all gung-ho about eating properly that the moment I don't (well, perhaps 2 weeks of eating whatever I want), I just lose the motivation. But, I remember how great it feels, so I'm gonna get back on it.
Thanks Bamboozle!
I hear you when you say it gets outta control really fast. I get all gung-ho about eating properly that the moment I don't (well, perhaps 2 weeks of eating whatever I want), I just lose the motivation. But, I remember how great it feels, so I'm gonna get back on it.
Thanks Bamboozle!
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: kettering, northants uk
Posts: 28
hi there, new here so forgive insensibilities. i'm in a drink caused fuzz at the minute, don't want it but think i need it. it helps me 'forget' all my problems and woes if only temporarily of course. 'stuck' is the place i'm at at the moment. realise i need to move to conquer my drinking but at same time reluctant. Sad, very sad. i'm a home and alone drinker, not a socialite.
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