shorty28562

Iam new to this this site and would like to share my story.

Ive been struggling with social anxiety ever since kindegarten. I started running from the school bus as early as I can remember. My mom realized that she was going to have to take me to school herself. That didnt go to well. Some days were worse that others but on the bad days I would throw a temper tantrem or fake sick to avoid going to school. This went on all through elementary and middle school.

When I started high school was introduced to marijuana. That helped the social anxiety but took all my motivation away. I dropped out of high school as soon as I turned 16. Smoking marijuana daily and hanging with the wrong crowd took me nowhere fast.

For me, marijuana was definantly a gateway drug. Insted of a worring, socially anxious teen I turned into a conplacent, underachieving drug addict. By 17 I was addicted to crack and on house arrest. I lived this lifestyle for a number of years in and out of jail. At age 20 I tried to straighten up after getting out of jail. I moved to another city and did good for about a year but then fell. During that year I did manage to get my GED.

When I fell I fell hard. At 21 I was in full addiction once again. Insted of trying to get back on track I just went deeper into addiction. I started shooting up cocain and oxycottins. For for the next 5 years my life was a complete disaster.

At 26 years old I was put back in jail and sentenced to a state rehab. I was so tired of living the life I lived. I wanted to change more than anything. That was a little over 2 years ago and Iam still sober and living a good life. I got married on May 3 and bought and moved into my first house just last weeekend. Its only by the grace of God that Iam alive to share my story with others today.

Being sober today I face the same problem as I did when I was in kindegarten...social anxiety. The drugs and alcohol made me numb from pain and emotions. As I sobered up the social anxiety came back and steadily got worse. As happy as I am with my life, I know it can be much better without the sociaL anxiety.

Being sober today I see things in a new perspective. Life is much better. I hope this helps someone

tsukiko

Congrats' on your sobriety and on turning your life around!

I can realte alot when it comes to getting tired of living 'that' lifestyle. I'm twenty and a heroin addict, sober since 30th may this year. The life style was as much an addiction (of sorts) as the drug. Waking up everyday meant either clucking and then feeling a drive much stronger than the anxiety holding me back to go and score or I woke up, pinned a bag and the anxiety was alleviated.

I also droppedo ut of high school (when I was about twelve) and my demons and anxiety drove me to self medicate...they still do, but hopefuly not forever!

Have you ever looked in to cognative therapy?

...I have a few friends who have found this a tough, but ultimatly worth while experience. Cognative therapy isn't just a talking therapy, but involves identifying and eventually facing what makes you anxious, but in a long term way. There are no quick fixes, just sort of re-wiring the brain to think differently in certain situations. For example, if the idea of going to the supermarket is absolutly terrifying cognative therapy can be used to develop those thoughts and feelings of terror in to ones of confidence. Its worth looking into anyway.

Good luck and all the best

CarolD

Welcome...well done on your progress


I agree...SMART recovery is something
you might want to check out.

Here is the link...ust click

SMART Recovery®

Best of luck on your marriage and new home