Hating life
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 689
Hating life
Where were you when you found SoberRecovery.com? Emotionally? Spritually?? Physically??? What Happened Next? And How's it Going Today? Share your SR EXPERIENCE as part of SoberRecovery's 5th Birthday!
When I found Sober Recovery I was an emotional and physical wreck!!!! I hated myself and my life. I was hardly functioning, not eating and only sleeping when I Od'd on opiates. I hardly talked to my husband; we had no marriage.
Today, I have been clean since May 9th, 2007. I am beggining to appreciate all the blessings in my life. A wonderful husband, a beautiful baby girl, and a townhouse in Florida.
I have trouble with spirituality and believing in a god because I had a very hard life while growing up. I am working on becomming more spiritual. I have been close to death many times from overdosing on prescription drugs. I am beggining to believe there is a god.
liz
When I found Sober Recovery I was an emotional and physical wreck!!!! I hated myself and my life. I was hardly functioning, not eating and only sleeping when I Od'd on opiates. I hardly talked to my husband; we had no marriage.
Today, I have been clean since May 9th, 2007. I am beggining to appreciate all the blessings in my life. A wonderful husband, a beautiful baby girl, and a townhouse in Florida.
I have trouble with spirituality and believing in a god because I had a very hard life while growing up. I am working on becomming more spiritual. I have been close to death many times from overdosing on prescription drugs. I am beggining to believe there is a god.
liz
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Fluttering About
Posts: 3,760
I had gone on a bender...mixing drugs and alcohol....went into a black out. When I came to I was in a hospital in Mexico with no inkling how I got there..I was in so much pain..I couldn't breath..they told me they cracked a couple of ribs while doing CPR on me and had to zap me back to life twice. I was p___d off, a raging lunatic and I was raging becasue I was alive. I was spiritually dead inside with no hope, feeling despair like no other, in a dark tunnel not knowing if I was going forward or backward or in circles. I was convinced that if I saw a light it would be a train...and I would head right for it and lay down on the tracks right in front of it. I hated me..I loathed me and the wreck I had made of my life and all lives my life touched. I felt Fugly...that is not a typo...that is F___ugly...inside and out.
That was in Sep of 1985......I choose to remain in recovery....NO MATTER what...when I came to in recovery. when the fog cleared and a fleeting moment of clarity hit me..I decided to continue on in recovery becasue I needed to and because I wanted to....When more moments of clarity came..I came to know a God of my own understanding..When I found God...I worked hard at finding out who I was...and I worked just as hard at finding peace.
Tho there have been some roughpatches of roads I wouldn't trade recovery for all the tea in China or for alll the money in the world.
When I get stuck..[as in the attached pic]...I just smile and wait...sooner or later the calvary does get here
That was in Sep of 1985......I choose to remain in recovery....NO MATTER what...when I came to in recovery. when the fog cleared and a fleeting moment of clarity hit me..I decided to continue on in recovery becasue I needed to and because I wanted to....When more moments of clarity came..I came to know a God of my own understanding..When I found God...I worked hard at finding out who I was...and I worked just as hard at finding peace.
Tho there have been some roughpatches of roads I wouldn't trade recovery for all the tea in China or for alll the money in the world.
When I get stuck..[as in the attached pic]...I just smile and wait...sooner or later the calvary does get here
Last edited by Fluttering; 06-30-2007 at 02:46 PM.
thrownasunder
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: calgary alberta
Posts: 10
I have just found this place today when i finally realized I have got to get help. Lets see after inviting men off the internet to my home with the motive of getting more booze cause i had run out and sleeping with them all whilst my toddler was sleeping in her crib, on two seperate occasionsI realized I had to change, so I decided to swear off alcohol a couple times this month, not only have I failed miserably I am craving a drink at this very moment and if I do not get help I will probably drink tommarow to make the pain of my seemingly meaningless friendless existence dissapear for a while. I am socially handicapped and drinking eases the pain of having days filled with misery and despair. I hate my life and though I have so much to be greatful for some days are just painful....through and through and I need to make some serious changes. This is not even the worst of my story but its getting to the point where I cant stop and it consumes me no matter the consequence. I hope this place can help me.
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