cali

I am just feeling really sad today--so many people here are in pain-
and friends of mine are relapsing---I know I can't "fix" things but I can't help my feelings....

I am crying a lot---uggh....I prefer to "coast" when it comes to feelings....
and I usually do----but that "bump" in the road hits---
sometimes I get really beside myself when I feel sad....I think because I used to drink so I could feel.....now the feelings come all on their own....don't get me wrong I am grateful to be sober and be right where I am however part of me wants to crawl right out of my skin..........................
Does anyone relate?????

Rowan

Hi Cali,

Yes, I can relate. I see a lot of pain here - and elsewhere - today, and it's hard not to take it all on. And I get such overwhelming feelings of sadness for all of it - and I'm not comfortable with such emotion, either. But it's getting easier.
I get so much from your posts, and you display such courage and compassion - let yourself feel - and keep reaching out to others. Try to practice good self-care today and maybe do something nice for yourself.

Rowan xoxo

cali

Thank you so much Rowan for your kind words. I also am working on accepting compliments and kind words...so much easier to give then to receive----but like you said "it's getting easier". I feel better

cali

My co-workers must think I am totally nuts---I just heard he good news about Gwen--I am sitting back here in my little cubicle crying tears of joy--
Roller coaster today---woo hoo!!
Yay ((((Gwen))))

Rowan

What happened?? OMG I must go see!!!

Rowan

Oh boy isn't that wonderful? I feel better now too!

I'm alone in my office right now thank God - pretty emotional

cali

((((((((((Rowan))))))))))))))

debs4321

Oh yes!!! I can definately relate to it.....

But, what I do is try to remember what it was like in active addiction. And I can remember that the skin I was in then was a heck of alot worst to live in then the skin I live in now.

I remember not being able to look in the mirror and be happy.


I longed for a chance to be a part of something normal, I looked at other people (normal people) having a good time and wished I could be a part of it.

The road I travel down now helps me realize the road I once traveled. To know I have been down the road to hell and have come out of it makes me grateful.

I know I have come into this post kinda late...but it was something that sparked a familiar feeling I have felt before.

Thanks for letting me share.

Love,
Deb