lindee29

When I first came upon SR, I had been clean for about a year. I would slip from time to time...but NEVER used like I used to. I had run across my ex-husband and his current wife while we were out. I had gotten really drunk...cuz I was gonna show him...and then got uber depressed. I'm not even sure how I came upon the site,but thank god that I did. I think for the first time that I really wanted to take my life that night. I had been sucidal in the past...but never REALLY thought about it. You see, I gave my ex custidy of my two daughters.Thanks to my addiction, he wouldn't let me see them. I was a coke addict for about 7 years before I pulled my head out of you know where...I posted a couple of things and was suprized at how much the comments that people made helped. It was comforting that I was not the only person that was going through this.This was about two years ago. I've used a couple times...and every time that I have..I am INSTANTLY reminded of why I stopped. I can honestly say that I have 1 year completly clean. I have my son with me now...and am working on establishing a realtionship with my daughters. I have been told that I am a lucky person that I am strong..that not many people can stop on thier own...maybe that's true...but I think that if you really wanna stop you will...and there isn't ANYTHING that will stop you...but you have to be sincer with YOURSELF to do it. I still drink...but insted of a nightly occerance...it's maybe a couple on the week-end...if even that.