Five

Dedicated to Mr Singh

I thought I would put together an article on “what is working for me” at the moment – by “working” I mean methods that make my day productive, peaceful, and interesting. I have noticed a few rules that never seem to fail in helping me. I hope you find them practical and maybe able to apply some of them to your day.

· getting up when the alarm goes off and eating my breakfast. When drinking I would roll around in bed trying to steal every last minute. Now, I make sure I get up at least an hour before I set off to work. I fill myself up with healthy cereal, wake up properly, and have time to think about what the day has in store.

· I suffer from perfectionism, which thus creates a horrible apathy and laziness in me. If I cant do something perfectly, I might as well try nothing. You know the drill. So, I try and do things BIT by BIT – and value the fact that I am being productive in short bursts that eventually lead to big body of work being completed.

· Lunch break at work is Millwallj time; there is a little café at the bottom of our office. Here I work on what SMART calls ABC’s – which I am slowly incorporating into my life. At the moment they are helping me with motivation and seem to focus my attention inward, which I think is key to a stable life. Seeing what is going on is essential in my view. Beliefs, values, attitudes, assumptions can all be pin pointed. Wilson’s Moral Inventory is also handy for this as well when I have gotten into an argument, which is rare thankfully.

· Having something to do in the evening: I need something to look forward to sometimes; this might be a trip to the library, a DVD, a good novel. I do the housework WHEN I GET IN. Its far easier to do something, than to put it off.

· Creative. I consider myself fairly creative – and I still have that all important impulse. I spend about an hour knocking out a few poems on the computer, combined with reading some literature. I always feel lighter after doing this, as if something has been released – to coin a cliché.

· Camomile tea. Where would I be without it. I swear by it. It has relaxing qualities. Initially the taste makes you want to throw up everywhere, but after a while I started to look forward to my few cups in the evening.

· Vices: apparently according to the great philosophers, a few vices are essential in life; and wisdom and happiness, comes from keeping them in harmony with the rest of ones life. So I try not to feel guilty about spending a bit of money on treats, or having that EXTRA cappuccino.

· Personal growth and self knowledge. Growth, as a word, makes me cringe. But I realise that it is essential not just to addicts lives, but to all people who want to handle life better. Fear, restlessness, boredom, anger – are all actually very useful because with a bit of introspection they can be signals to deeper attitudes, values, and beliefs. Great is the day when I notice something about myself, and can change it.

· Hobbies: fishing (I am an ethical fisherman: small hooks, and always return them) is kind of like my spiritual side being expressed. I have tried meditation, contact with God, etc etc and nothing makes me more dreamy and gob smaked than fishing. Strange? You should try it

· Football in England is a state religion, and I am a fundamentalist Millwall Fan. Its in the blood, so therefore very difficult to explain. It gives me something to look forward to in the week.

· Socialising: ESSENTIAL to my recovery. I need to be socialised in a big way. Notice how after you socialise, walking home, you get that feeling of happiness (most times?) – well to me that happiness is healing. Healing from loneliness, past insanity, and conscious separation. I try not to turn down the chance to interact with people.

· Being humble. I always look for evidence that proves that I am not the tormented genius I sometimes think I am. With humility comes peace.

· Being kind and considerate with my family, and always developing new behaviours around them. Having a caring family is a huge factor in me not picking up a drink. It consolidates my beliefs about alcohol. Not only huge harm to myself, but my family as well. I am trying to be a great son. I really am, and it feels great.

Do I practice these things daily? Nope. They kind of wax and wane. But they seem to me to be rules that if I stick by now and then, things generally improve, I “grow” – God, I hate that word.

minnie

Are you sure?

Great list, Five. And it's working - you are a different poster since your reincarnation as Five.