Dan

Inventory.

A statement that is often quoted at AA meetings is 'Your opinion of me is not important'. The purpose of this saying, apparently, is to wean us away from being people pleasers.
But the truth is that we all have legitimate interest in the opinions others hold of us. They may like or dislike us for the wrong reasons, but it is helpful for us to know this and accept it.

More important, the opinions of others can be useful in helping us take personal inventory and correct wrong behavior and attitudes. There may be a good reason why someone has a low opinion of us, and we should become aware of it.
It is true, however, that OUR opinions count the most in shaping our lives. If we're thinking badly about others, that can be more damaging to us than to them. Surprisingly, they may think better of us as we change our opinions about them.

I doubt that I can go through the day without being affected by other people's opinions of me.

However, my main work will be in seeing that my own opinions aren't being destructive in my life.

From the book Walk in Dry Places.

Hopefloats

This is right along with what I replied to in the Self-Esteem Thread this morning Dan. My daughter did have thoughts/opinions of me at a time where I needed to see some things that I was denying.

I understand what this read means. My daughter's honest opinion was born from love. It was also something that I should not of denied, and I am glad that I did not deny her thoughts. People's opinions of us, are often times what we need to hear to grow. Looking back, I could not of agreed with her more. I would of held the same opinion of me, at that time if I could of stepped outside of myself and really seen what was going on.

I don't know if I was able to articulate what I mean exactly. I just hope I did
Great thread...
Hopefloats

Gabe

I am seldom, if ever, objective about what is going on with me.
This is the time I lean on my friends...also known as "the people I respect" for their valuable opinions on things.
The program taught me to surround myself with good people.
That doesn't mean squat if I don't look to those good people when I need some perspective.
It took me a while for that "no man is an island" quote to sink in.
The best part of recovery, for me, is having a solid group of good people around me to share their experience, strength, hope AND opinions when I need them.
Because those good people tell me the truth, not just "what I want to hear".

Hopefloats

I rely on those good friends Gabe..Well put.
Some of my most profound "growth" experiences have been when I have been wrong about myself.
Hopefloats

JT

I often say that I can't trust my own thinking. Ditto to what Gabe said about surrounding myself with good people and remaining open. Being "myself" without regard to those around me is counter productive. "Myself" has need of constant tweaking.

Gooch

Yep .. Good friends can be the sandpaper that brings out the best of our grain.

Dan

In carpentry terms, a full array of sandpaper grits is highly desirable.
Sometimes, I get so wrapped up in my veneer I forget that the real strength and quality of my planks may actually lie in the ugly knots I desperatly try to hide.
Oh forget it...
More parabolic analogic speak that really goes nowhere except thin air

Don W

Thinking was never my strong suit when drinking. In recovery it is my best suit though.

Gooch

I did forget that I'm basically a knot head... Thanks for the parabolic/analogous reflection.

Dan

I just found a whole new bunch of knots I didn't know about

Don W

Hey, I've found that I have more nooks and cranies than a Thomas English Muffin. And most the time, it ain't butter their full of.