Emotion Man and his love for therapy

Old 07-26-2005, 04:59 AM
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Emotion Man and his love for therapy

What is this disgusting provocation to change all the time? I cannot understand it. Firstly it feels illogical, in that human nature – a product of environment, class, academia, life events, upbringing, etc etc – is so complex that it elludes concious control. I cannot think myself well, I cannot ruminate about serenity all day, I cannot act toward change, I can just hope for the best. Who says, anyway, that I need to change? Is it other people? Has my need to change been bought on by the opions of others? Would ignorance have been bliss?

I blame the therapeutic “community” - and myself for getting wound up in it - for this incessant nonsense – that man is no longer political man, or family man, or work man, he is now emotion man and everything has either a therapeutic “good” or therapeutic “bad”. Emotion man, like me, is continuously and endless thinking about how to feel and change and alter his inner life. He is terrified of bad moods, or addictions, of sexual compulsive behaviours. He is pre-occupied with healthy relationships, honesty, "feelings", bad behaviour, self esteem, his thoughts. He studies what is normal, what is good, what is sick, what is well. Emotion man.

The "wellest" thing I can do is move away from that stuff - and into the force of nature like my fellow men.

Any thoughts?

I've got post rant paranioa now...
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Old 07-26-2005, 06:22 AM
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I don't have much to add, Millwall... but I do understand your point here. I'm feeling that way myself. I wish sometimes that I could switch my entire head off, then back on again, much like the rebooting of a computer.

Blah.

At any rate... thank you for sharing. Perhaps I'll have something of actual substance to add later. Meanwhile, take it easy.

--anne
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Old 07-26-2005, 06:32 AM
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Heavens: I am stressed.
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Old 07-26-2005, 06:37 AM
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I can identify. I have found, however that it is not so much the "outside world" and its labels and injustices that stress me, but my own head, which refuses to shut up and produces endless opinions about what is right/wrong, what I should/ shouldn't do, what is just/unfair, who is making me do what and why....

I have gotten better as I have made an effort to get out of my own head and just live, rather than thinking about living... Rationalization gets me nowhere most of the time, whereas when just going with the flow, things make sense somwehere along the line...

take care,

Juliana
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Old 07-26-2005, 06:40 AM
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Originally Posted by Litework
I can identify. I have found, however that it is not so much the "outside world" and its labels and injustices that stress me, but my own head, which refuses to shut up and produces endless opinions about what is right/wrong, what I should/ shouldn't do, what is just/unfair, who is making me do what and why....

I have gotten better as I have made an effort to get out of my own head and just live, rather than thinking about living... Rationalization gets me nowhere most of the time, whereas when just going with the flow, things make sense somwehere along the line...

take care,

Juliana
yes - a lovely way of putting it. I am just rolling with it these days. I refuse to "help myself (self help)" any longer and just go mad-get sane-go mad -get sane...and hope that balance restores.
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Old 07-26-2005, 08:40 AM
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Okay Mill:

First Sit back. Now take slow deep breathes slowly inhaling and exhaling, Do 10 of those.

Sometimes change is just a change in my attitude. Well, you say How in the Hell do I do that?

Its really quite simple. Start practicing new things.

Be the best you can be just for today. Be thoughtful, Kind and Considerate to all who cross your path. SMILE at the grumpy clerk at the counter. You may be amazed at the reaction you get. Hold the door open for another person. Let someone with less items in the check out line in ahead of you. It is truly amazing what will start to happen. It comes back to you, it really does.

It does not happen overnight but with PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE my attitude did start to change. And the other most AMAZING THING, when I was concentrating on doing the best I could TODAY, my brain did not have the chance to go off on one of it's HORRIBLE TANGENTS that could turn me into a rage and make me totally FRUSTRATED.

This is a program of action, not mental masturbation. It's time Mill to get moving and do the "little things." Start doing something nice for someone each day without letting them know who did it. Sounds easy right??? WRONG. That one is a "Real Kicker."

Oh and BTW its okay to be SOBER AND CRAZY. I had that bumper sticker on my vehicle until I was almost 6 years sober and it was so so true. Its okay to feel like you are in 20,000 pieces and are trying to grab the pieces out of the air and put them back on your body. For a while I introduced myself at meetings as follows:

"Hi, I'm an alcoholic and my name is SCATTERED."

Sobriety is about learning how to live sober. How to get through all sorts of emotions and pain without picking up a drink, because it is never just one.

You are going to hate hearing this, but, Mill YOU ARE RIGHT ON SCHEDULE, YOU ARE EXACTLY WHERE YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO BE!"

Living Sober is not about being perfect. Living sober is about adapting to our current situation. Adapting to changes around us as "gracefully" as possible at the moment.

I didn't think I needed to change either, however, I came to realize that my old ways of doing things and my old ways of thinking were not working. When I practiced those I GOT DRUNK.

So, maybe, just maybe, its time to sit back and relax a bit, start practicing DEEP BREATHING everytime you feel yourself tensing up. Start looking at the world around you with different eyes. Take Joy at the mother and child playing in the park. Take Joy from the mama cat and her new kittens. Go for a drive in the country and watch the lambs frolicking around in the pasture. Look at the amazing trees.

I had to come to the realization for me, that the world does not revolve around me, that on the beach I am like just one of those little grains of sand, so, what could I do to maybe make this world just a teeny teeny bit better to live in.

Well, for me it was changing my attitude and giving to others a "friendly smile", a "sincere thank you", a helping hand when I could, etc etc

Just some of the things that helped me calm down a bit and get into the business of Living Sober.

Take what you want, leave the rest behind.

JMHO

Love and (((((to all))))),
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Old 07-26-2005, 08:51 AM
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Originally Posted by laurie6781
Sobriety is about learning how to live sober. How to get through all sorts of emotions and pain without picking up a drink, because it is never just one.
No kidding...
Thanks for a great post Laurie. I don't feel so concerned about scatteredinicity all of a sudden
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Old 07-27-2005, 01:50 AM
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Originally Posted by laurie6781
Okay Mill:

First Sit back. Now take slow deep breathes slowly inhaling and exhaling, Do 10 of those.

Sometimes change is just a change in my attitude. Well, you say How in the Hell do I do that?

Its really quite simple. Start practicing new things.

Be the best you can be just for today. Be thoughtful, Kind and Considerate to all who cross your path. SMILE at the grumpy clerk at the counter. You may be amazed at the reaction you get. Hold the door open for another person. Let someone with less items in the check out line in ahead of you. It is truly amazing what will start to happen. It comes back to you, it really does.

It does not happen overnight but with PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE my attitude did start to change. And the other most AMAZING THING, when I was concentrating on doing the best I could TODAY, my brain did not have the chance to go off on one of it's HORRIBLE TANGENTS that could turn me into a rage and make me totally FRUSTRATED.

This is a program of action, not mental masturbation. It's time Mill to get moving and do the "little things." Start doing something nice for someone each day without letting them know who did it. Sounds easy right??? WRONG. That one is a "Real Kicker."

Oh and BTW its okay to be SOBER AND CRAZY. I had that bumper sticker on my vehicle until I was almost 6 years sober and it was so so true. Its okay to feel like you are in 20,000 pieces and are trying to grab the pieces out of the air and put them back on your body. For a while I introduced myself at meetings as follows:

"Hi, I'm an alcoholic and my name is SCATTERED."

Sobriety is about learning how to live sober. How to get through all sorts of emotions and pain without picking up a drink, because it is never just one.

You are going to hate hearing this, but, Mill YOU ARE RIGHT ON SCHEDULE, YOU ARE EXACTLY WHERE YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO BE!"

Living Sober is not about being perfect. Living sober is about adapting to our current situation. Adapting to changes around us as "gracefully" as possible at the moment.

I didn't think I needed to change either, however, I came to realize that my old ways of doing things and my old ways of thinking were not working. When I practiced those I GOT DRUNK.

So, maybe, just maybe, its time to sit back and relax a bit, start practicing DEEP BREATHING everytime you feel yourself tensing up. Start looking at the world around you with different eyes. Take Joy at the mother and child playing in the park. Take Joy from the mama cat and her new kittens. Go for a drive in the country and watch the lambs frolicking around in the pasture. Look at the amazing trees.

I had to come to the realization for me, that the world does not revolve around me, that on the beach I am like just one of those little grains of sand, so, what could I do to maybe make this world just a teeny teeny bit better to live in.

Well, for me it was changing my attitude and giving to others a "friendly smile", a "sincere thank you", a helping hand when I could, etc etc

Just some of the things that helped me calm down a bit and get into the business of Living Sober.

Take what you want, leave the rest behind.

JMHO

Love and (((((to all))))),
Thanks pal, a nice message and important to.
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Old 07-27-2005, 08:41 AM
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Mill
Have you tried taking the focus off of your "self"? "Self-centeredness"...that we believed was the root of our problems"....bb. Laurie's post said it beautifully.

You don't have to run out and save the world. You can start simply by sending out concious gratitude to those around you...if not for being a good example of humanity...then for being a hideous warning. All of God's creatures are divine. Show interest in a newcomer...smile...shake hands...say hello. Even if you don't feel like it. Remember birthdays, sobriety dates, anniversaries and let others know you are happy for their milestones.

After a little while of doing this you will notice that there is a little empty space in your head. At first you might think you are bored, but then you realize "this is peace...holy sh*t...this is serenity...this is what they are talking about....this is sobriety...this is good."

Good luck exploring the infinite abyss.
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Old 07-28-2005, 01:43 PM
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Originally Posted by FaeryQueen
Mill
Have you tried taking the focus off of your "self"? "Self-centeredness"...that we believed was the root of our problems"....bb. Laurie's post said it beautifully.

You don't have to run out and save the world. You can start simply by sending out concious gratitude to those around you...if not for being a good example of humanity...then for being a hideous warning. All of God's creatures are divine. Show interest in a newcomer...smile...shake hands...say hello. Even if you don't feel like it. Remember birthdays, sobriety dates, anniversaries and let others know you are happy for their milestones.

After a little while of doing this you will notice that there is a little empty space in your head. At first you might think you are bored, but then you realize "this is peace...holy sh*t...this is serenity...this is what they are talking about....this is sobriety...this is good."

Good luck exploring the infinite abyss.
hmmm....that little space is when all of me has been replaced by all of AA.

my belief system replaced by AA's.

Its called brainwashing.

Give me madness any day.
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Old 07-28-2005, 01:45 PM
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Originally Posted by FaeryQueen
Mill
Have you tried taking the focus off of your "self"? "Self-centeredness"...that we believed was the root of our problems"....bb. Laurie's post said it beautifully.

You don't have to run out and save the world. You can start simply by sending out concious gratitude to those around you...if not for being a good example of humanity...then for being a hideous warning. All of God's creatures are divine. Show interest in a newcomer...smile...shake hands...say hello. Even if you don't feel like it. Remember birthdays, sobriety dates, anniversaries and let others know you are happy for their milestones.

After a little while of doing this you will notice that there is a little empty space in your head. At first you might think you are bored, but then you realize "this is peace...holy sh*t...this is serenity...this is what they are talking about....this is sobriety...this is good."

Good luck exploring the infinite abyss.
yawwwwwwwwwwwn. heard it all before feary.
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Old 07-28-2005, 01:50 PM
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our Father who art in Heaven
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Old 07-28-2005, 03:06 PM
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yawwwwwwwwwwwn. heard it all before feary.

Obviously you haven't applied it.

All these squawking birds won't quit. Building nothing.....laying bricks.

the shins
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Old 07-28-2005, 03:14 PM
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hmmm....that little space is when all of me has been replaced by all of AA.

my belief system replaced by AA's.

Its called brainwashing.

Give me madness any day.

Curious if you have ever read anything by J. Krishnamurti? The Awakening of Intelligence and Freedom from the Known are great books about the thinking mind and how is not the ultimate form of intelligence. Also, Einstein often spoke about his theories coming in the form of inspiration in moments of "space conciousness" and silence. By the word space I mean silence of the thinking mind. The steps are a way to reach this silence and serenity which leads to true intelligence and creativity. I agree that dogma can be dangerous..the opiate of the masses so to speak, but AA is a great place to start breaking the preoccupation with self...which is what I see in your posts...total and complete preoccupation with self. However, it seems you are too afraid of losing control and being brainwashed....so be it.

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Old 07-28-2005, 05:46 PM
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Who Moved The Cheese?

horrifying...absolutely horrifying! but easy does it, emotion man! one thing for sure someone is going to move the cheese. since i know that - i anticipate and prepare to move with it. indeed, a little nerve- racking. but it is better then having no cheese or worse yet, rotten cheese! besides moving is such a great adventure (as long as you know some physically healthy young muscular aa men (and woman) with pik-em-up trucks who have nothing better to do than help you move every so often). GOD, do i hate moving. i have too much stuff. my friends are burned out. and i just keep moving inside a not-so-big circle. but i keep the faith because i know GOD has a plan (like maybe a split-level on 5 acres with a small barn and pond for my dogs,goats, horses,etc. to enjoy) so i am ready. GOD let's move!

" Livin' in the city isn't where it's at."
TRUST GOD!
cindy
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Old 07-28-2005, 06:03 PM
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ok, i so agreed with you for a long time, and still really do dont agree with AA as a whole, but for me, it got sooooo bad and i tried everything. so i just gave up and gave in, not totally, not enough as i'm far far away from where i want to be. but i have seen some very intelligent and great people get their life together and LIKE it. and these are people i respect and like, not the people who i used to pick apart at meetings and assume they had never seen hardships, (ya, right!!!)
AND, dont assume any behavior is bad unless you feel (the DIRTY F WORD!!!LOL), unless it hurts you or makes you feel bad!!!!!!!! and i dont know anything as i am still struggling, but i know what has worked for others that i admire and they are definately not brainwashed, and speaking of brainwashing, thats all dope ever has done for me, is brainwash me!!!!
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Old 07-28-2005, 07:01 PM
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Change is so damn hard... it makes you confused and crazy. I believe that's where your conflict is coming from. You are in transition and it's just plain intense, unrelentless and extremely uncomfortable. In early recovery I felt that I was in the process of "reinventing" myself. One minute I thought I knew what was going on and the next minute didn't have a clue and I was mad at the world and taking it out on my poor husband. Sometimes I felt like I was in slow motion, I had black and white thinking and I never could see the forest for the trees. Doing that wicked 4th step in AA caused me to doubt and examine my every action... I'm an obsessive personality and I obsessed my little heart out doing those 12 Steps! For a while there I didn't know if I was coming or going. So here I am now with a few years sober and now it's like I was in some time machine .. the onion has peeled and I think I may be now who I was meant to be... before all the booze and drugs. I surprise myself and my friends (who all thought I was completely bonkers) are not treating me like a sick person anymore. That dynamic is a powerful one for us in recovery..being the identifyable sick person ALL THE TIME.
I am also currently disenchanted with AA meetings and dogma. But I remember how I held on to those silly slogans when I thought for sure the top of my head was going to blow off my body. And I sure needed to know that, like Laurie said, I was just one of a gazillion grains of sand and the world did not revolve around me. Sounds silly but it relieved me to take notice of other people's desires instead of living in MY own head all the time. I became curious of other peoples lives and journeys..

I can't remember who's quote here says "When you're passing thru Hell, keep on going" but I like that little slogan alot. Because that's the only way out of the head trip you and lots of us are in... we just got to break on thru to the other side of this chemical, emotional and psychological see-saw ride of recovery. Millwallj, I believe it is just that we are in the process of "recovering ourselves" back or forward to who we really are, both physically and spiritually.

It is a trip!

Michele
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