For 'us', to read, if you choose.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,709
For 'us', to read, if you choose.
I am an addict. I have also been trained to be an object of addiction. Today as I write this guide I choose not to be an object of an addiction.
When an addict feels bad inside they are compelled to do something to alter those feelings. Their concern is to control the feelings they are having by using something outside of themselves to feel better. In this way they become dependent on whatever it is that they are using.
Consider some booze and it's relationship to the addict. The addict uses the booze to feel better and the booze has no complaints. The well being of the booze is of no concern to the addict nor does he or she have compassion for the booze . The addict has no need to control the booze since it is nothing but an inanimate object. The addict need not talk to the booze nor ask the booze if it minds being used. The booze has no personal identity or face, it's just booze. It has no feelings nor does it fight to prevent itself from being used. From the booze's standpoint, a lack of intimacy with the addict exists. That is to say that the addict need not share anything about himself or herself with the booze. The addict and the booze need not share anything together except the addict's need to consume (use) the booze.
The booze's role in this relationship is to be inactive . The addict's expectations for the booze are as follows:
* To be compliant
* To do nothing to frustrate the addict
As long as the booze is easy to use the addict is happy.
Source and the rest of it...
When an addict feels bad inside they are compelled to do something to alter those feelings. Their concern is to control the feelings they are having by using something outside of themselves to feel better. In this way they become dependent on whatever it is that they are using.
Consider some booze and it's relationship to the addict. The addict uses the booze to feel better and the booze has no complaints. The well being of the booze is of no concern to the addict nor does he or she have compassion for the booze . The addict has no need to control the booze since it is nothing but an inanimate object. The addict need not talk to the booze nor ask the booze if it minds being used. The booze has no personal identity or face, it's just booze. It has no feelings nor does it fight to prevent itself from being used. From the booze's standpoint, a lack of intimacy with the addict exists. That is to say that the addict need not share anything about himself or herself with the booze. The addict and the booze need not share anything together except the addict's need to consume (use) the booze.
The booze's role in this relationship is to be inactive . The addict's expectations for the booze are as follows:
* To be compliant
* To do nothing to frustrate the addict
As long as the booze is easy to use the addict is happy.
Source and the rest of it...
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Reading it again, something struck me, and that is that the behaviours shown are not limited to those who have or care for someone with an addiction.
I am codependent, but was raised in a home where there was no alcohol at all or drugs, or even abuse as we know it. Yet some of the behaviours were there and I see a lot of my family of origin and myself in there.
I see more where my son is concerned. He is my foster child and came from a home chuck full of addiction and abuse. And I see in his relationships with his children and girlfriends along the way, many of the "quick fix" and "all about me" behaviours and almost an inability to have a functioning, responsible, two-way relationship.
Reading that helped me understand a lot about where these behaviours come from. I'm not sure what the solution is, besides changing behaviours and ending the cycle, but it held a lot of information that helps me.
Again, thank you.
Hugs
Ann
I am codependent, but was raised in a home where there was no alcohol at all or drugs, or even abuse as we know it. Yet some of the behaviours were there and I see a lot of my family of origin and myself in there.
I see more where my son is concerned. He is my foster child and came from a home chuck full of addiction and abuse. And I see in his relationships with his children and girlfriends along the way, many of the "quick fix" and "all about me" behaviours and almost an inability to have a functioning, responsible, two-way relationship.
Reading that helped me understand a lot about where these behaviours come from. I'm not sure what the solution is, besides changing behaviours and ending the cycle, but it held a lot of information that helps me.
Again, thank you.
Hugs
Ann
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
