Relationships with OTHER addicts etc.....
Putting it all together
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: St. Louis, MO.
Posts: 469
Relationships with OTHER addicts etc.....
I need opinions.....I have found that I am attracted toa certain person that is also in recovery....it JUST happened, we have a lot in common, he is sensitive, kind, thoughtful and very funny. I am not a NEEDY person.....I know that we can find ourselves in a situation that is not healthy BUT I have definate feelings for this person. I have been clean for 5 years, I am stable, I am self-assured-not arrogant. I am glad that I met this person as he has made me laugh when I needed to cry and made me feel better. He has given me wisdom and hope about many things.....we got into a little converstion that was starting to...well OK it did, get sexual. It was not crude, very subtle and VERY sexy. I was Ok with it when I usually would be FREAKED as I was sexually abused....I think the relationship needs to go to a further level.....I have written a letter to this person telling him he can talk to me as a friend.....I hope he responds as I feel that maybe he is pulling back and is a bit scared. I was ALWAYS the one to "leave". I was the one who NEVER could let anyone get close....now I find myself in this position....we all have our issues, I certainly have mine but I am happy with who I am today.....INPUT, PLEASE???? I hope he emails me as I just want to know here we stand.....kahlia
1000 Post Club
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Recoveryville, USA
Posts: 1,297
A few questions I would as myself when starting a new relationship with an addict/alcoholic:
1. Whats his clean time? (For me, at least a year, minimum)
2. Am I aware of red flags that tell me if he is/isnt emotionally available?
3. What is my intuition telling me about this person?
4. What are my motives?
5. Am I pushing things too fast to get that instant gratification?
6. Do I know how to proceed slowly in order to actually get to know this person and accpet him just as he is?
7. Am I listening to his words, or his behaviors? (The 2 sometimes do not match)
Hope this helps! GOod luck
1. Whats his clean time? (For me, at least a year, minimum)
2. Am I aware of red flags that tell me if he is/isnt emotionally available?
3. What is my intuition telling me about this person?
4. What are my motives?
5. Am I pushing things too fast to get that instant gratification?
6. Do I know how to proceed slowly in order to actually get to know this person and accpet him just as he is?
7. Am I listening to his words, or his behaviors? (The 2 sometimes do not match)
Hope this helps! GOod luck
Putting it all together
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: St. Louis, MO.
Posts: 469
Originally Posted by FriendofBill
A few questions I would as myself when starting a new relationship with an addict/alcoholic:
1. Whats his clean time? (For me, at least a year, minimum)
2. Am I aware of red flags that tell me if he is/isnt emotionally available?
3. What is my intuition telling me about this person?
4. What are my motives?
5. Am I pushing things too fast to get that instant gratification?
6. Do I know how to proceed slowly in order to actually get to know this person and accpet him just as he is?
7. Am I listening to his words, or his behaviors? (The 2 sometimes do not match)
Hope this helps! GOod luck
1. Whats his clean time? (For me, at least a year, minimum)
2. Am I aware of red flags that tell me if he is/isnt emotionally available?
3. What is my intuition telling me about this person?
4. What are my motives?
5. Am I pushing things too fast to get that instant gratification?
6. Do I know how to proceed slowly in order to actually get to know this person and accpet him just as he is?
7. Am I listening to his words, or his behaviors? (The 2 sometimes do not match)
Hope this helps! GOod luck
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