erino134

I went to meeting #2 today. This time I found a small woman's only meeting.

I liked it a lot.

I learned something today.

Wouldn't it be amazing if I not only quit the opiates, but actually quit drinking now before it does ruin my life? I went to a meeting with about 18 women. And it is remarkable that in that one hour I heard myself in each of the stories that were shared.

I'm still not ready to admit that I NEED to go to these meetings.

BUT, I am going to keep going. I really did feel good afterwards and I don't really know why.

So here's my next meet questions

How do I get a sponsor? I know who I want to pick - just from listening to her talk today. Do I wait longer until I hear more people speak? do I just walk up and ask her? Actually, there were two ladies that were both 20 years older than me, have many years of sobriety and were very well put together.

Second - it feels so stupid to me how everyone addresses and says "thank you Betsy" and "does an alcoholic want to read this whatever" "This alcoholic does". Does that have value that I don't get yet? Does this have to do with acceptance - which may be why it feels so stupid?

historyteach

(((Erin)))
Never, ever, ever feel stupid asking any question....
I promise you, there are many more asking the same question inside...and often afraid to ask. Man...If I had a dollar for every question I didn't ask.....
And THAT is what I feel stupid about now....
See, people really WANT to share....
Those two ladies...hmm...why wait?
If you connected? Why not ask? What have you got to lose?
And, Erin...speak the way you're used to speaking....
You will be heard....
Shalom!

hopeful2day

enrino,
You get used to the lingo. It seems extraordinarily corny at first, and it might even stay that way. All I can tell you from personal experience is that it is powerful medicine. People who keep going to meetings and work the steps get and stay sober. Those that don't or stop relapse. I recently threw away 13 years of sobriety after I stopped going to meetings for a few years. It took awhile, but eventually I used. This time it was pills intead of booze, but it's all the same. Now I'm back listening and participating, because it really does work--I promise.

Another thing you will find is that the language and customs vary from meeting to meeting, particularly in different geographical areas. The core is the same, but the style can be different. You might find a group that more closely matches your personality; there are meetings everywhere.

historyteach

((((hopeful))))
Thanks for sharing...
Keep participating...
Shalom!

Justme57

WOW!!!!!!!!! Erin, what a great post !!!!

I am so glad you have found a meeting where you feel very comfy .

In answer to your questions , I was told in very early sobriety , when I wanted a Sponser, to ask someone to be my TEMPORARY sponser,and that way it is an open ended agreement , and it worked for me .

As to the second part of your question, it happens at some meetings down here too, and as you go along , you may be like me , just accept that it is the way "Mary" or whoever choose to share . The message is the same , no matter how it is delivered or dressed up

Good Luck
Keep going back

HUGX
Lee

TracyAgain

I hear it's even weirder in Arizona. They applaud and say thank you. I've never been to a meeting in Arizona but know a couple people from there. They had to teach themselves not to clap every time someone finsished speaking.

Tracy

TracyAgain

Sorry for the multiple posts. I'm quick on the trigger this afternoon.

Yes. Or: "I like what you say at meetings. Will you work with me?"

Tracy

Roxann

That's how I felt when I first went Erin. I'm so glad you are enjoying them, and plan on coming back. I think by admitting that you did feel good afterwards is a sign that you NEED to go to them. The lingo still hits me as weird a month and a half into the meetings, but I'm starting to block it out, so it doesn't bug me anymore.

Congratulations Erin. I am so happy for you.

erino134

I went to one the other day and everyone was clapping. Really really corny - or so it seems to me.

I can not call myself an alcoholic outloud yet - or a drug addict - not yet. I mean I know it is true, but I cannot say Hi, I'm Erin and I'm an addddddddddiiiiiii... sorry just can't do it yet.

I can't bring myself to address everyone everytime, or say thank you betsy in unison with everyone else. BUT, I can pray outloud with no problem if I know the prayer. So, I'm not completely hopeless.

So, obviously I have really gotten past the first word in the first step. But - I'm going again.

Oh, and I have no idea if those women thought we connected, I just really liked them. They looked how I want to look in 20 years. and sounded like they are good mothers.

Thanks for the positive feedback. I soooo appreciate it.

hopeful2day

Erin,
I remember something my first sponsor suggested that helped me in the beginning: listen for the similarities when others are speaking in a meeting and ignore the differences for awhile. Listen for the kernals of truth, and don't fret about the rest. I had been spending much of my time in meetings looking for why these people were different from me.

You don't have to say you are an alcoholic or an addict. Hell, you shouldn't say you are an alcoholic or a drug addict IMHO until and unless you believe you are and are ready to say so. The program is all about honesty with yourself and others. The introducing of one's self is a custom, but also an affirmation of the first step--that one has come to the realization that he or she has a problem with alcohol or addiction and it is messing up his or her life. If you have a desire to stop using or drinking, you are welcome in closed meetings--period. If you don't have that desire, you are welcome at open meetings. Stick around and it will make sense, I promise.