BOOZER

Connie,
I did the exact same thing.
Vince

Quinn

Thank you for that article, I printed it out for myself, because I believe it will help me.

Best,
Quinn

BOOZER

Quinn,

Pretty powerful huh? I still can't read it without crying. It fits me to a tee.

Majesty_Jo

I am your disease is indeed a powerful piece of prose, and I think we can all identify with it. It wasn't until I had been in recovery for two years, that I found true acceptance of my disease. Until I could, I couldn't take the first half of Step One that 100% they said I need to maintain my sobriety. My life can still be unmanageable when managed by me, or if I go back into the stinking thinking and think that my disease is no longer there. It is has been in reprieve for thirteen years, and there is no way that I want to pick up in today, to find out if this time, it will be different.

Quinn

It never occured to me that I had a drinking problem, until I was about 34 years old. Now I'm 38. The more I learn about addiction, the more I realize I have it. I also realize that it cannot be "cured", but rather managed. It bothers me that that "monster" is out there, ready to come out, in a moment of my weakness.

hopealwayz

Boozer,
You are in my thoughts and prayers. Take care of yourself. I know you can do this.
You have a new beginning and beautiful life ahead of you.

Love,
Hope

BOOZER

Thanks all,

Seems weird, I guess I have to get used to not drining. I still have not had the desire but my body is not sure what to do. At first I could not sleep and now I can't do anything but sleep. I have to go to a client's later today and that really sucks cause I would rather just sleep. Emotions are weird too. I was very happy but now kind of sad all the time. If I could get my damn ex out of my mind it would be better. Thinking about it, I was fine until I started talking to this girl from the past. She wants to spend the weekend and now I feel like I am doing something wrong. Like I am cheating on my Hope--her name is Hope too. I think I will have to get out of this weekend and just deal with one thing at a time. I don't need to have women or anything else complicting my life right now. I keep having these dreams that we are still together and I cheated and that is not helping. I never did by the way. Plus all kinds of other totally off the wall dreams.
Oh well, coffee, a shower, and off into the world I guess. At least I will finally make some money. It seems it keeps going out but nothing is coming in. New car insurance, smog check, register car, detox. Ouch!
I finally have a lot of work but can't stay awake to do it. Last year I did not have much work but was ready to do whatever. Hmm? Life is odd.

Connie

Hey Booze - Sounds like you're doing great. The mind swirls, normal, from what I hear. I remember lots of mood swings in the beginning, too. I was an emotional glob of jello at times. It gets better. One thing at a time; try not to cloud your mind with all this stuff. As far as this weekend, alone time worked best for me at first, but everybody's different. Hang in there, you're worth it!