Should I change my clean date?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 1
Should I change my clean date?
Hello all,
I'm new to this forum so thank you for welcoming me. I consider my clean date to be January 7th, 2016, when I gave up the fight to keep using meth as I had lost everything,mand have been working an NA program since July of 2016. During the first six months, I grew quite a bit in my life but ended up coming to the conclusion that I needed to work a 12-step program to get real recovery. I am also a drug and alcohol counselor.
In June of 2016, I drank a little vodka at a concert once and later in June smoked Marijuana on one occasion. Following the stages of change concept, I believed that these lapses were an important part of my recovery and don't feel shame about them or see them as negatives. In fact, I see them as the final straw that led me to decide to start attending NA and doing the steps. I have never counted these lapses due to me seeing that as a part of my recovery rather than a complete shut down of it, and because they happened before I started working an abstinence-based program. At the time I believed that I only needed to abstain from my DOC, but in July as I came up on my 6 month date I began to worry that these lapses were proof that I would fall back into old patterns and felt that I was lacking something in my life.
The other night at a meeting, somebody mentioned "honest clean time" and I started to wonder if I was working an honest program while not counting these lapses in my clean time and resetting when I came to NA. I see the 14th of January as the day I made the decision to start recovering and completely change my life, and I have made so much progress since then. That specific date is very important to me and often is something that keeps me from using when I feel like doing so. Now that I am working an NA program, I know that I can never use any substance because it will create havoc in my life, and that if the time ever comes (knock on wood) that I use a substance, I would have to reset my clean date. My sponsor says I work a very strong program, and I am vigilant in making sure I don't accidentally ingest alcohol, stay away from "legal highs," and make sure I don't misuse any prescription medication. I never want any type of narcotic to enter my system.
Given all of this, I've been told "to thine own self be true" and that the only day that really matters is today. Should I change my clean date to the day I came to Narcotics Anonymous? I feel like this would be very discouraging for me, but I don't want to jeopardize my program or put my recovery at risk.
Thanks for reading.
I'm new to this forum so thank you for welcoming me. I consider my clean date to be January 7th, 2016, when I gave up the fight to keep using meth as I had lost everything,mand have been working an NA program since July of 2016. During the first six months, I grew quite a bit in my life but ended up coming to the conclusion that I needed to work a 12-step program to get real recovery. I am also a drug and alcohol counselor.
In June of 2016, I drank a little vodka at a concert once and later in June smoked Marijuana on one occasion. Following the stages of change concept, I believed that these lapses were an important part of my recovery and don't feel shame about them or see them as negatives. In fact, I see them as the final straw that led me to decide to start attending NA and doing the steps. I have never counted these lapses due to me seeing that as a part of my recovery rather than a complete shut down of it, and because they happened before I started working an abstinence-based program. At the time I believed that I only needed to abstain from my DOC, but in July as I came up on my 6 month date I began to worry that these lapses were proof that I would fall back into old patterns and felt that I was lacking something in my life.
The other night at a meeting, somebody mentioned "honest clean time" and I started to wonder if I was working an honest program while not counting these lapses in my clean time and resetting when I came to NA. I see the 14th of January as the day I made the decision to start recovering and completely change my life, and I have made so much progress since then. That specific date is very important to me and often is something that keeps me from using when I feel like doing so. Now that I am working an NA program, I know that I can never use any substance because it will create havoc in my life, and that if the time ever comes (knock on wood) that I use a substance, I would have to reset my clean date. My sponsor says I work a very strong program, and I am vigilant in making sure I don't accidentally ingest alcohol, stay away from "legal highs," and make sure I don't misuse any prescription medication. I never want any type of narcotic to enter my system.
Given all of this, I've been told "to thine own self be true" and that the only day that really matters is today. Should I change my clean date to the day I came to Narcotics Anonymous? I feel like this would be very discouraging for me, but I don't want to jeopardize my program or put my recovery at risk.
Thanks for reading.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
I gues I could have put up this argument. I drank for 15 years, but I wasn't drunk or drinking all that time. My guess would be around two thirds of the time I was not drinking or drunk. I was at work, asleep, or broke. So I could join AA and claim to have ten years sobriety right at the start.
But I would be kind of missing the point. That ten years in reality was just time between drinks. My drink problem was not solved in those periods, I was just taking a break. The real problem had received no effective treatment, and as soon as circumstances permitted, I would be back at it. I had not found a means of permanently avoiding the fatal first drink.
It might have been a few days or weeks, or even months that I went without a drink, but as I had no defense in place, I always picked up.
The whole point of sober time, uninterrupted sobriety, is to demonstrate the effectiveness of a given solution at providing a 24/7 defense against the fatal first drink. If it works for one year, then we pick up, knowing how unpredictable the consequences can be, then we have obviously missed something.
So my argument for having ten years sobriety when I joined AA does not hold water, because I proved over an over that I was just as vulnerable to the fatal first drink and it's possible consequences, whether the break had been days, weeks or months.
But I would be kind of missing the point. That ten years in reality was just time between drinks. My drink problem was not solved in those periods, I was just taking a break. The real problem had received no effective treatment, and as soon as circumstances permitted, I would be back at it. I had not found a means of permanently avoiding the fatal first drink.
It might have been a few days or weeks, or even months that I went without a drink, but as I had no defense in place, I always picked up.
The whole point of sober time, uninterrupted sobriety, is to demonstrate the effectiveness of a given solution at providing a 24/7 defense against the fatal first drink. If it works for one year, then we pick up, knowing how unpredictable the consequences can be, then we have obviously missed something.
So my argument for having ten years sobriety when I joined AA does not hold water, because I proved over an over that I was just as vulnerable to the fatal first drink and it's possible consequences, whether the break had been days, weeks or months.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
welcome to you.
wondering here...you come up with arguments for not changing the date, and arguments for doing it.
can't help you there, since it is YOU who decides if they are real, or how much weight to give them.
look deep. deep down, when did you start your real clean and sober life?
you will know the answer. just sit with it and it will come.
wondering here...you come up with arguments for not changing the date, and arguments for doing it.
can't help you there, since it is YOU who decides if they are real, or how much weight to give them.
look deep. deep down, when did you start your real clean and sober life?
you will know the answer. just sit with it and it will come.
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