What is Recovery? -- Letting go of the little things.
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What is Recovery? -- Letting go of the little things.
Not sure why but, some alcoholics when drinking and even some in recovery are perfectionist. I suffer from this as one of my co-workers of many years would attest to. And yes, my wife would also agree (poor thing.)
This is something that I have been working very hard on for a long time now.
Letting go of the little things (that usually in the long run don't even matter.)
Harping on these little things to others can really wreck their serenity and cause us to feel like crap for doing that.
May this thread be about the times in which we keep our mouths shut and let the little things go. I have found this to be a nice feeling (when used).
MB
This is something that I have been working very hard on for a long time now.
Letting go of the little things (that usually in the long run don't even matter.)
Harping on these little things to others can really wreck their serenity and cause us to feel like crap for doing that.
May this thread be about the times in which we keep our mouths shut and let the little things go. I have found this to be a nice feeling (when used).
MB
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Although I have asked of her many, many times -- please don't let the kitchen cabinet doors slam when closing.
It seems to happen often here on the mountain top.
The wall in our shower is an adjoining wall to the kitchen. When in the shower the sound of slamming kitchen cabinets is a terrible thing but, I need to come to terms with the fact that my wife will be doing this (so it looks) for the rest of her life and mine.
Tonight once again while in the shower -- you guessed it -- slamming cabinet doors. I thought to myself -- it ain't no big deal -- let the little things go Bob.
My wife just walked in while I was typing this and I hid it from her -- she was and is in a very loving mood -- if I would have opened my big complaining mouth I'm sure that she would not be.
Please share,
M-Bob
It seems to happen often here on the mountain top.
The wall in our shower is an adjoining wall to the kitchen. When in the shower the sound of slamming kitchen cabinets is a terrible thing but, I need to come to terms with the fact that my wife will be doing this (so it looks) for the rest of her life and mine.
Tonight once again while in the shower -- you guessed it -- slamming cabinet doors. I thought to myself -- it ain't no big deal -- let the little things go Bob.
My wife just walked in while I was typing this and I hid it from her -- she was and is in a very loving mood -- if I would have opened my big complaining mouth I'm sure that she would not be.
Please share,
M-Bob
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Nice one, Bob.
Just about to have my mid-arvo siesta, but before I toddle off:
I know the kinda thing you're talking about, I'm sure we all have about a million of the damn things! Great minds must think alike, because only the other day I was reflecting on this very matter (so as to tamp down the dial on whatever pathetic / risible / ever-changing matter was bugging me)....and remembered that ancient book from back in the earlier days of the (cough) 'self help' genre. 'Don't Sweat the Small Stuff'.
Should type it up on a card in large letters for my fridge, I think
Just about to have my mid-arvo siesta, but before I toddle off:
I know the kinda thing you're talking about, I'm sure we all have about a million of the damn things! Great minds must think alike, because only the other day I was reflecting on this very matter (so as to tamp down the dial on whatever pathetic / risible / ever-changing matter was bugging me)....and remembered that ancient book from back in the earlier days of the (cough) 'self help' genre. 'Don't Sweat the Small Stuff'.
Should type it up on a card in large letters for my fridge, I think
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Originally Posted by bemyself 
'Don't Sweat the Small Stuff'.
Should type it up on a card in large letters for my fridge,
but
that wouldn't be bad where I could see it.
Old guy needs many reminders.
M-Bob
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I have worked on this as well. Mindfulness has helped me. I end up talking to myself asking "Is this going to matter in a day/week/month.."
I also find a brisk walk and taking some deep breaths helps!!
I also find a brisk walk and taking some deep breaths helps!!
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Hi guys, I think I have a compulsive disorder because there is no other person in the planet who obsesses over petty stuff more than me. I have a sober app and I got this message the other day [most of the issues we worry about are petty, do people like me, what do they think of me and blah blah blah the app said we need to stop obsessing about what people think about us or we would drink again] I also obsesses about cabinet type of stuff example is the dog dirty who will cleaning this mess did you take your shoes off ? I'm so tired it seems I'm upset about something else reality and just looking for something to deflect. Sorry for the big rambling
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Letting go of the little things.
I was sitting outside yesterday on a beautiful afternoon smoking a cigar, watching our many animals playing and then bamm -- thinking about a few things that needed to be done outside knocked my serenity down about 50 points.
I said to myself -- come on let those thoughts go -- what's most important is to be in the now moment and enjoy what's going on around you right now. There will always be chores that need to be done but, I wish not to let the thought of them take away my peace of mind, body and soul.
I was instantly relieved and faded once again to that peaceful place in my mind.
M-Bob
I was sitting outside yesterday on a beautiful afternoon smoking a cigar, watching our many animals playing and then bamm -- thinking about a few things that needed to be done outside knocked my serenity down about 50 points.
I said to myself -- come on let those thoughts go -- what's most important is to be in the now moment and enjoy what's going on around you right now. There will always be chores that need to be done but, I wish not to let the thought of them take away my peace of mind, body and soul.
I was instantly relieved and faded once again to that peaceful place in my mind.
M-Bob
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In my recovery place- I am surrounded by (drug- heavy use in recovery) addicts who do not and have no clue how to care for themselves. Like children- don't flush, leave food scraps in mouldy binds, do not shower, play childish jokes, make inappropriate comments to young women. Some not so little- so instead of obsessing- I ask myself does it matter? Inappropriate comments I deal with. Usually the rest (if it does not directly involve me) it becomes water of a duck's back.
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Great thread as always, Bob. This is definitely a topic I can relate to very well.
One thing that popped into my head is my boyfriend's need to use Waze .... to get everywhere. I'll be in the car next to him, and he's got it on- and I know exactly where we are going and the best way to get there during (insane Atlanta) traffic. Or he'll be coming to my house and send me a text that Waze says he'll be there at 11:27 (he is crazy punctual, so this would be when we have plans for 11:30, for example). I find all of this really unnecessary - I am still the person who only thinks to use any kind of direction finder once I'm in the car, doesn't put apps on her phone (or he does, then I don't use them) and just solves an arrival-on-time problem by leaving uber early to get some place.
I practice not being a back-seat-driver, smile at the texts, and then go about my own way of getting around when I am taking care of myself. Before getting sober, his habits would have driven me batty- and cause stupid pissiness on my part!
One thing that popped into my head is my boyfriend's need to use Waze .... to get everywhere. I'll be in the car next to him, and he's got it on- and I know exactly where we are going and the best way to get there during (insane Atlanta) traffic. Or he'll be coming to my house and send me a text that Waze says he'll be there at 11:27 (he is crazy punctual, so this would be when we have plans for 11:30, for example). I find all of this really unnecessary - I am still the person who only thinks to use any kind of direction finder once I'm in the car, doesn't put apps on her phone (or he does, then I don't use them) and just solves an arrival-on-time problem by leaving uber early to get some place.
I practice not being a back-seat-driver, smile at the texts, and then go about my own way of getting around when I am taking care of myself. Before getting sober, his habits would have driven me batty- and cause stupid pissiness on my part!
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Staying in the now moment can be a challenge but, that's where one will find happiness and serenity.
From what I hear monks are very good at this but it seems for the average person it requires a little work, time and patience.
A nice sober day wished for all,
M-Bob
From what I hear monks are very good at this but it seems for the average person it requires a little work, time and patience.
A nice sober day wished for all,
M-Bob
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I got into it a little bit with a gentleman last night on the internet.
I was only stating my case from a calm position.
The guy came back at me a little side ways.
I could have chimed in more trying to prove that I was right.
Oh yes, how we want to beckon other ones consciences.
I let it go -- maybe the man was having a stressful day ?
What is Recovery? -- Letting go of the little things.
M-Bob
I was only stating my case from a calm position.
The guy came back at me a little side ways.
I could have chimed in more trying to prove that I was right.
Oh yes, how we want to beckon other ones consciences.
I let it go -- maybe the man was having a stressful day ?
What is Recovery? -- Letting go of the little things.
M-Bob
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Location: High Desert, Eastern Sierras
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I'm new to this recovery stuff. Are you saying that the intense stress I harbor about the mess, the house, the kids, the yard, the birds (I breed chickens) leads to me wanting to abuse alcohol? That letting all that go will help!? Well, then. I will try.
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Certain things we have to do but, intense stress is not good for anyone.
I will now walk away from it most every time.
True, some of the chores here around the home I say can wait. I didn't retire to kill myself at home working.
M-Bob
I will now walk away from it most every time.
True, some of the chores here around the home I say can wait. I didn't retire to kill myself at home working.
M-Bob
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