Redmayne

There's little doubt I made great progress in my recovery once I learned to recognise and accept, no matter what else had happened in my life, including who was and wasn't responsible, that ultimately I was the problem and that as 'Clancy's' sponsor told him...

'That if my problem was alcoholism, then my problem wasn't alcohol', the explanation for this being that alcohol was merely a symptom of a deeper malady.

On which basis once I started living in the solution instead of the problem, which was me! I could and would get better and that any progress in this area would only be hindered once I stopped blaming, no matter how justified, others...and took a long, hard look at myself and in doing so, recognised that I was problem!

August252015

"....I didn't give my permission - [I ] really am an alcoholic. And it's alright with me. Now, what am I going to do about it? When I stopped living in the problem [me] and began living in the moment, the problem went away. ...

Acceptance is the answer to all my problems. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place or situation - some fact of my life- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place or thing or situation as being exactly as it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God's world by mistkae. ....

I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to change in the world, as on what needs to be changed in me and my attitudes."

[pp 417]

Our disease is one of perception - it's always everyone else, it's happening TO me, I'm just stuck in the middle of this situation I surely didn't cause....we have an ongoing responsibility to fight this thinking, and to grow in our intuition as to how to handle as we grow.

Acceptance, and action are the program.

Bird615

Yes!
The above ideas are are what have made all the difference for me!

Redmayne

Always nice to see constructive responses like these based on the simple premise of sharing experience, strength and hope.... thank you...

LadyBlue0527

Funny there was a time and day where I would yell from the rooftops that I am not powerless over anything. I ran the show, I was the controller or all.

What peace I have found in letting go of all of this.

Redmayne

Thank you, this certainly resonates with me. Perhaps because in my thirty year drinking history as a 'high functioning alcoholic', I'll let others be the judge of that...I went through a prolonged period (twenty years) where bizarrely in both personal and professional life, I encountered a number of people (seven) who by their selfish irresponsible actions and behaviour caused me a lot of emotional, financial and material harm and distress, which only served to exacerbate my drinking...

When it was later pointed out to me by an acquaintance, himself a Consultant Psychologist, that all these people showed the signs and symptoms, by their bizarre behaviour, of those suffering from Autism Spectrum Disorder. One of the prime symptoms was their inability to think cognitively (truth and reason)...was I any better?

No, myself , at the time leading the delusional life of a drinking alcoholic!!! Whichever way you cut it and I , at the time didn't think I was powerless over anyone or anything, least of all alcohol.

It wasn't 'til I recognised and accepted that putting all this aside, I and my then relationship with alcohol, the only relationship I really ever had, was the problem...

August252015

My passion is literature, books, writing, the whole shebang. One of my favorite parts of the BB is on p417 where it says "'Shakespeare said all the world's a stage, and all the men and women are merely players.' He forgot to mention that I was the chief critic." Bam!

I was studying this idea in such depth the other day that I wrote an entire blog post stemming from it.

Acceptance has been a HUGE theme for me in the past week or so, particularly. Breaking it down into the really basic stuff, even. Global to local, the concept applies in everything!!

Redmayne

This resonates with me, perhaps because ever since I was a little boy I've been an avid and voracious reader...I currently see myself as a self directed student of the practices and principles of Stoic philosophy initially motivated by the fact that in its basic tenets it is strongly linked to The Serenity Prayer. A fact referred to in at least three of my steadily growing collection of books on the subject...

Both Epictetus and Seneca, who along with Marcus Aurelius are the three novas of it, had much to say on the Art of Managing Expectations, especially as to what is and isn't under our control....as regards people, places and institutions, making the point that the only real responsibility any of us have us to ourselves...not least our state of mind,

'Man is not disturbed by things, but his view of things,' - Epictetus

'Remember it's easy to live a happy life, it's all within you. In your way of thinking,' - Marcus Aurelius