YankInHolland

A little background info:

During a recent move to Europe for work, I started drinking again like a fiend. Part of my dellusional process was to catalog all the single malt whiskys that I'd sucked down, thinking I was being sophisticated.

Anyway, I've recently had yet another wake-up call, and my "whisky journal" has taken the following form:

Entry 1:

Royal Lachnager Single Malt Whisky

Cost: Almost 40 Euro
Taste: Good, when you develop the ability to fool yourself into thinking that drinking expensive poison somehow makes you something other than a drunk.
Effects:
• Dulls the senses
• Makes you an incoherent idiot
• Makes you tired and lazy
• Makes you fat
• Gives you the *****
• Makes you believe that you’re really a sophisticated scotch drinker, when in reality you’re nothing but a lying drunk
• Good for temporary relief of depression, but tends to elevate depression the following day

Tasting notes:
This whisky is a bit subtle – you don’t really know you’re turning into a stinking drunk because of the name “Royal” on the label. Maybe it makes you a Royal Drunk. Or perhaps a Royal idiot. Or maybe it Royally ruins your health. Or makes you Royally depressed. Whatever the case, you’re now 40 Euros poorer, 5 pounds heavier, and you’ve wasted another 2 weeks of your life sitting on your ass sucking poison out of a ******* bottle and fooling yourself into believing that you’re not hurting yourself, your wife and your future.

ted

THANKS YANK,DON'T FORGET ROYALLY F#CKED.
WELCOME....ted

YankInHolland

Entry #2:

Edradour Single Malt Scotch Whisky

Cost: Probably about 60 of the 10's of thousands of dollars I've pissed away on booze

Color: I don't remember, as my vision was too blurry to see it.

Taste: Not sure, I don't think I taste anything that I drink anymore

Tasting Notes: Very unique ideed! Never before has suicide been my first thought of the day. But with THIS whisky, the thought of suicide actually came to mind immediately after waking up. Yes, this is "Very Special", as it says on the label.

Other Notes: I highly recommend this whisky to anyone wanting to **** away their money, life, health, happiness, marriage, family and sanity.

Doug

Hello Yank,

And welcome to SoberRecovery.

I didn't see any "dates" on your entries. Are you doing anything now to stay sober. Or are those entries refering to now?

YankInHolland

Nah, I just came up with the idea as I was deep-sixing my collection of stashed liquor bottles and old labels that I'd peeled. These "entries" are nothing more than a good-riddance eulogy for this crap.

I was sober for over 100 days last year, and foolishly talked myself into starting again ("I know how to handle it this time...."). So now it's back what I know works for me - diet, excercise, meditation, reflection, prayer and support.

Been 3 days now - and have already dropped a couple pounds, hands aren't shaking and the fog of suicidal depression is lifting. So just why the f*** DO I drink anyway??!?

ted

ARE YOU AN ALCOHOLIC?
THAT'S WHY I TORTURED MY SELF AND OTHERS FOR 30 YEARS.
I KNOW DIFFERENTLY NOW.
I DON'T HAVE TO DRINK ANYMORE!!!
A.A. AND S/R HAVE HELPED TREMENDOUSLY.
GODSPEED YANK.........ted

YankInHolland

Hmmm, stashed liquor bottles, drinking in secret, sneaking drinks, waking up with a hangover 5 or 6 days per week, lying about how much I drink, drinking 3 bottles of wine in one evening....

Can one GET more alcoholic than me?

Hell yes, I'm an alcoholic.

But I'm also a musician, scientist, athlete, builder, husband, brother, son and "the person" of a large German Shepard named Cheyenne. I can be all of those, OR I can be an alcoholic.

But I can't be both.

ted

THERE YA GO!

Sandy Marie

That's the frame of thought that got me off the Royal too! Congratulations
Yank. Glad you posted and hope to hear more from you soon. Sounds like you're missing home too! Have a sober day.
Sandy

Dan

Yeah, I tried the duality gig. Worked real hard at it too. Thought I had it nailed, I did...
It came down to a simple choice in the end.
Take the denial blinders off or sooner than later die a drunken, miserable death.
Like you, I chose life.
Welcome to SR Yank.

Brookie

Welcome Yank. I'm Joe - sophisticated wino. Really identified with your tasting notes.

Best to you, and keep coming back.
Joe

YankInHolland

Hey Joe,

Yeah, ain't that the truth. I'm sooooooooooo sophisticated becasue I can afford high-class hooch.

My favorite is the ritual "MMMMMmmmmmMMMMMmmmmm......" when you're acting like you're savoring one of those $100 bottles and deep down you're thinking "yeah, this'll give me a buzz, just like that $4.73 bottle of rot-gut that I've got stashed in my toolbox in the basement."

Did you read Dave Barry's column on fly fishing last weekend? Hilarious. Check it out if you haven't aready!

Brookie

Thanks Yank. I missed it, but I'll check it out.

2dayzmuse

(((Yank)))

Welcome...I'm familiar with that cheap bottle of rot-gut. It's a rather big bottle to boot. Tasted like fermented rutabagas. MMMMMmmmMMMMmmm...yuck. I got rid of my stash and don't miss it. I'd rather chew my rutabagas.

Talia

ted

JUST CHECKING IN TO SEE HOW YOUR DOING.
DO THEY HAVE ANY A.A. MEETINGS IN YOUR TOWN THERE?
YOU CAN FIND ALOT OF SUPPORT THERE AS WELL AS HERE.
HAVE A GREAT DAY 4!!! .......ted

Chy

Glad your here!

YankInHolland

Doing great Ted. Thanks!

Feeling awesome again thanks to sobriety, yoga, a healthy diet and soul nourishment. Nice to be back in the land of the living again!

Probably, but I'm not seeking them out. No disrespect to those who find AA to be their primary source of support, but I feel there are other types of support that are more in line with my personal beliefs.

Dank u Wel! I'm sure I'll be back often.

And beyond.... Jij ook!

Tot ziens!