Perhaps, the end of the beginning ....
Trudgin
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Perhaps, the end of the beginning ....
"There was a time, not long ago, when for a whole year we stood all alone. Those days, thank God, have gone. We now move forward in a great and gallant company. For our record we have nothing to fear, we have no need to make excuses or apologies. Our record pleads for us, and will gain gratitude in the breasts of free men and women in every part of the world."
"Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning."
These are the words of Winston Churchill from his speech entitled The Bright Gleam of Victory - Given in London Nov. 10th, 1942
The first portion of the speech above reads like a recovery story to me - Standing alone, but moving forward now in great, gallant company. No excuses or apologies........
In the last months of drinking I felt so very, very alone. In new sobriety I felt the same way - standing alone, mostly - even when around others. However, I moved forward - in great and gallant company - new sober friends. I clean up the past - make amends and live with no more excuses or apologies for my past ways.
I see, listen to, speak with and read newcomers posts daily and have for over 17 months. I see myself in their faces and stories - I know their tears. Their posts were mine not long ago.
Can you identify the point in your continuing journey where you reached the end of the beginning? The day where you thought, just maybe this will not perish like the morning fog - perhaps I really will find peace and recovery.....
Is is possible to recognize the point where we reach the end of the beginning of our recovery?
"Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning."
These are the words of Winston Churchill from his speech entitled The Bright Gleam of Victory - Given in London Nov. 10th, 1942
The first portion of the speech above reads like a recovery story to me - Standing alone, but moving forward now in great, gallant company. No excuses or apologies........
In the last months of drinking I felt so very, very alone. In new sobriety I felt the same way - standing alone, mostly - even when around others. However, I moved forward - in great and gallant company - new sober friends. I clean up the past - make amends and live with no more excuses or apologies for my past ways.
I see, listen to, speak with and read newcomers posts daily and have for over 17 months. I see myself in their faces and stories - I know their tears. Their posts were mine not long ago.
Can you identify the point in your continuing journey where you reached the end of the beginning? The day where you thought, just maybe this will not perish like the morning fog - perhaps I really will find peace and recovery.....
Is is possible to recognize the point where we reach the end of the beginning of our recovery?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,474
.
To your very last Sentence and Question, I would answer 'Yes'. However, [my] meandering thoughts would too easily turn into a Discussion that might not be quantifiable.
I like this Johns Hopkins Test. I post it as a Model. I like the binary 'firmness' of the answers.
- Test For Alcoholism -
Now, imagine a different Test re: Recovery Progress, or 'State Of Being'. Like, 'Do You Have Dinner With Friends At Least Once A Week?
'Are You Unafraid To Go Try New Things'?
'Can You Easily Tolerate Being Around Alcohol'?
These are seriously-fuzzy Thoughts I'm just tossing out there. However, a well-thought out Test as clean as the John Hopkins one could measure Recovery Progress, and quantify your question...
.
To your very last Sentence and Question, I would answer 'Yes'. However, [my] meandering thoughts would too easily turn into a Discussion that might not be quantifiable.
I like this Johns Hopkins Test. I post it as a Model. I like the binary 'firmness' of the answers.
- Test For Alcoholism -
Now, imagine a different Test re: Recovery Progress, or 'State Of Being'. Like, 'Do You Have Dinner With Friends At Least Once A Week?
'Are You Unafraid To Go Try New Things'?
'Can You Easily Tolerate Being Around Alcohol'?
These are seriously-fuzzy Thoughts I'm just tossing out there. However, a well-thought out Test as clean as the John Hopkins one could measure Recovery Progress, and quantify your question...
.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
Mesa makes a good point - the End of the Beginning can likely be identified , but probably only long after it's occurred, and not in a quantitative sense.
I think it's a gradual thing. Even looking back, it's hard to see when things "clicked". It's like asking an athlete to tell you the day they became a faster runner. Sure, there was probably one noticeable race that he'll remember, but the exact point he became a faster runner can't really be quantified.
When I moved here to Guatemala 1.5 years ago, I quickly noticed that I'd "turned the corner" and was no longer in the purgatory of Early Sobriety. Around that time, even before the move, I felt like I was starting to go downhill instead of walking uphill all the time. The accomplishment of actually doing something that was meaningful - truly - to me, and was done on behalf of myself , with the purpose of making myself happy...and didn't involve alcohol or drugs...let's just say that event helped propel the sled even faster.
Good topic.
I think it's a gradual thing. Even looking back, it's hard to see when things "clicked". It's like asking an athlete to tell you the day they became a faster runner. Sure, there was probably one noticeable race that he'll remember, but the exact point he became a faster runner can't really be quantified.
When I moved here to Guatemala 1.5 years ago, I quickly noticed that I'd "turned the corner" and was no longer in the purgatory of Early Sobriety. Around that time, even before the move, I felt like I was starting to go downhill instead of walking uphill all the time. The accomplishment of actually doing something that was meaningful - truly - to me, and was done on behalf of myself , with the purpose of making myself happy...and didn't involve alcohol or drugs...let's just say that event helped propel the sled even faster.
Good topic.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Earth
Posts: 607
The end of my beginning was when I quit trying to seek outside solutions to a problem that only I could resolve from within. I own full responsibility for my actions and I am the only one that can shape my destiny. It's much easier playing the perpetual victim but taking control is much more rewarding.
Trudgin
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Originally Posted by esinger 
The end of my beginning was when I quit trying to seek outside solutions to a problem that only I could resolve from within. I own full responsibility for my actions and I am the only one that can shape my destiny. It's much easier playing the perpetual victim but taking control is much more rewarding.
I too accept full responsibility for my actions and never play the perpetual victim - on that we definitely agree.
Thanks for your input on the thread
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
"Is is possible to recognize the point where we reach the end of the beginning of our recovery?"
that theres pretty deep and a good question.
i believe what bigsombrero typed- it was after it occured.i could complicate this as imo it really is a deep subject,but to keep it simple id say for me the end of the beginning happened when i was no longer fighting alcohol. i didnt notice when that really happened completely.then a new beginning of living life on lifes terms.
that theres pretty deep and a good question.
i believe what bigsombrero typed- it was after it occured.i could complicate this as imo it really is a deep subject,but to keep it simple id say for me the end of the beginning happened when i was no longer fighting alcohol. i didnt notice when that really happened completely.then a new beginning of living life on lifes terms.
Trudgin
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Originally Posted by tomsteve
"Is is possible to recognize the point where we reach the end of the beginning of our recovery?"
that theres pretty deep and a good question.
i believe what bigsombrero typed- it was after it occured.i could complicate this as imo it really is a deep subject,but to keep it simple id say for me the end of the beginning happened when i was no longer fighting alcohol. i didnt notice when that really happened completely.then a new beginning of living life on lifes terms.
that theres pretty deep and a good question.
i believe what bigsombrero typed- it was after it occured.i could complicate this as imo it really is a deep subject,but to keep it simple id say for me the end of the beginning happened when i was no longer fighting alcohol. i didnt notice when that really happened completely.then a new beginning of living life on lifes terms.
I suppose for me part of the end of the beginning was the first time I sat with newcomer and tried to help them, perhaps. It felt like an epiphany had been reached to some degree.
Thanks for contributing TomSteve
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: glasgow scotland
Posts: 1,004
reply to Tom Steve re perhaps the end of the beginning of our recovery .
Hi Tom as you say it is an interesting and what some folk may find difficult question , looking back in my case I believe that when I earnestly and fearlessly took the 3 rd Step in its entirety no ifs no buts , was when I moved forward and left my beginning behind as I had no reason to revisit steps 1 & 2 .
A good step 3 led me to step 4 & 5 and not for an instant had I any hesitation in inventory and sharing with another human being the exact nature of my wrongs .
Also very significant in my case I was a dry drunk for 20 yrs in AA took a drink and drank occasionally for next 12 years in secret and told no one , worse still I went about egotistically claiming to be 32 years sober '' completely off my head '' .
12 March 2006 I came clean and told all what I had done , and I can assure you as the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous says '' ego deflation at depth '' which was necessary in my case and for the 1st time in my life ''I Asked for Help'' which was a turning point and I thank God I did .
Don't know if it is relevant to the original question but it '' fits '' in my recovery .
Regards .
Stevie
A good step 3 led me to step 4 & 5 and not for an instant had I any hesitation in inventory and sharing with another human being the exact nature of my wrongs .
Also very significant in my case I was a dry drunk for 20 yrs in AA took a drink and drank occasionally for next 12 years in secret and told no one , worse still I went about egotistically claiming to be 32 years sober '' completely off my head '' .
12 March 2006 I came clean and told all what I had done , and I can assure you as the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous says '' ego deflation at depth '' which was necessary in my case and for the 1st time in my life ''I Asked for Help'' which was a turning point and I thank God I did .
Don't know if it is relevant to the original question but it '' fits '' in my recovery .
Regards .
Stevie
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
Thank you, Fly n Buy. This is a thoughtful thread, as we've come to expect from you, friend. You raise questions that have been on my mind, too. A lot.
The responses are equally insightful; thank you, fellow journeyers.
It's interesting that the NIH survey, which is solid, raises the questions that it does. It's not about the physical symptoms of alcoholism; it's about the impact. I took it, in retrospect, and scored an 8. Eight might as well be hell.
When you come to live in a state of zero "yes" responses, it doesn't mean you say "OK, I think this is done." Or even "this phase is over." Nothing felt fixed. My gut tells me it is interconnected with my first year of sobriety. Aside from the overall change, there were difficult, hurtful elements. And then there was the blow. I picked up the phone one morning, 10.5 months sober, to find out my father had died suddenly in his sleep.
For a long time -- and I know this is the case with non-addicts, too -- I felt as though I was trying to drive as the wheels flew off. But while the occasional thought crossed my mind, there hasn't been an urgent craving since the earliest days of sobriety. It's been more a state of life out of balance. Recovery intertwined with grief, recovery intertwined with the continued decline in my mother's health. Recovery simultaneous with unrelenting reminders that life keeps happening.
Everything has been too gradual for me to ever pinpoint a transitional point. The end of the beginning of recovery? I never felt it.
And yet.
There was a day this past June that felt perfect. A haircut and style. I know it sounds superficial but it makes a difference when you spent so long not liking anything about yourself, including your looks. A fun outing with a friend who means a lot to me. Saw old friends who were genuinely happy to see me. It was just about as pleasant as life can get.
I couldn't figure out what made that day feel so good. But when I stopped to think about it, I realized that it wasn't the first time I felt that way. Perhaps it was just that it felt extra good -- the sunny day, the friends, the haircut. And it came so naturally.
That's when I realized something significant had happened: I respected myself again.
It was like a tectonic plate shifted underneath me, so slowly and so undramatically that I didn't realize it.
This process of recovering doesn't end. But something's changed. Now there's a different foundation underneath me; I'm continuing to build, but from a new place.
The responses are equally insightful; thank you, fellow journeyers.
It's interesting that the NIH survey, which is solid, raises the questions that it does. It's not about the physical symptoms of alcoholism; it's about the impact. I took it, in retrospect, and scored an 8. Eight might as well be hell.
When you come to live in a state of zero "yes" responses, it doesn't mean you say "OK, I think this is done." Or even "this phase is over." Nothing felt fixed. My gut tells me it is interconnected with my first year of sobriety. Aside from the overall change, there were difficult, hurtful elements. And then there was the blow. I picked up the phone one morning, 10.5 months sober, to find out my father had died suddenly in his sleep.
For a long time -- and I know this is the case with non-addicts, too -- I felt as though I was trying to drive as the wheels flew off. But while the occasional thought crossed my mind, there hasn't been an urgent craving since the earliest days of sobriety. It's been more a state of life out of balance. Recovery intertwined with grief, recovery intertwined with the continued decline in my mother's health. Recovery simultaneous with unrelenting reminders that life keeps happening.
Everything has been too gradual for me to ever pinpoint a transitional point. The end of the beginning of recovery? I never felt it.
And yet.
There was a day this past June that felt perfect. A haircut and style. I know it sounds superficial but it makes a difference when you spent so long not liking anything about yourself, including your looks. A fun outing with a friend who means a lot to me. Saw old friends who were genuinely happy to see me. It was just about as pleasant as life can get.
I couldn't figure out what made that day feel so good. But when I stopped to think about it, I realized that it wasn't the first time I felt that way. Perhaps it was just that it felt extra good -- the sunny day, the friends, the haircut. And it came so naturally.
That's when I realized something significant had happened: I respected myself again.
It was like a tectonic plate shifted underneath me, so slowly and so undramatically that I didn't realize it.
This process of recovering doesn't end. But something's changed. Now there's a different foundation underneath me; I'm continuing to build, but from a new place.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 56
Fly n Buy - great thoughtful question. I was just pondering the same thing today as I came across a post on SR where a recovering alcoholic with 84 days sober was complaining about having real strong cravings today. I couldn't help but think that he should be past that point by now in his recovery where cravings should be in his rear view mirror. The end of his beginning should have been some time ago. I guess not?
I am 64 days sober but I too don't know if I have reached the end of my beginning yet, I do feel a huge transformation has taken place though.
I guess I am getting near to the end of my beginning, can't wait to get to the end, but I am also enjoying the journey of re-discovery along the way.... Thanks again. Mind blown.
I am 64 days sober but I too don't know if I have reached the end of my beginning yet, I do feel a huge transformation has taken place though.
I guess I am getting near to the end of my beginning, can't wait to get to the end, but I am also enjoying the journey of re-discovery along the way.... Thanks again. Mind blown.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,044
"There was a time, not long ago, when for a whole year we stood all alone. Those days, thank God, have gone. We now move forward in a great and gallant company. For our record we have nothing to fear, we have no need to make excuses or apologies. Our record pleads for us, and will gain gratitude in the breasts of free men and women in every part of the world."
"Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning."
"Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning."
Trudgin
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Originally Posted by Venecia
The responses are equally insightful; thank you, fellow journeyers.
It's interesting that the NIH survey, which is solid, raises the questions that it does. It's not about the physical symptoms of alcoholism; it's about the impact. I took it, in retrospect, and scored an 8. Eight might as well be hell.
When you come to live in a state of zero "yes" responses, it doesn't mean you say "OK, I think this is done." Or even "this phase is over." Nothing felt fixed. My gut tells me it is interconnected with my first year of sobriety. Aside from the overall change, there were difficult, hurtful elements. And then there was the blow. I picked up the phone one morning, 10.5 months sober, to find out my father had died suddenly in his sleep.
For a long time -- and I know this is the case with non-addicts, too -- I felt as though I was trying to drive as the wheels flew off. But while the occasional thought crossed my mind, there hasn't been an urgent craving since the earliest days of sobriety. It's been more a state of life out of balance. Recovery intertwined with grief, recovery intertwined with the continued decline in my mother's health. Recovery simultaneous with unrelenting reminders that life keeps happening.
Everything has been too gradual for me to ever pinpoint a transitional point. The end of the beginning of recovery? I never felt it.
And yet.
There was a day this past June that felt perfect. A haircut and style. I know it sounds superficial but it makes a difference when you spent so long not liking anything about yourself, including your looks. A fun outing with a friend who means a lot to me. Saw old friends who were genuinely happy to see me. It was just about as pleasant as life can get.
I couldn't figure out what made that day feel so good. But when I stopped to think about it, I realized that it wasn't the first time I felt that way. Perhaps it was just that it felt extra good -- the sunny day, the friends, the haircut. And it came so naturally.
That's when I realized something significant had happened: I respected myself again.
It was like a tectonic plate shifted underneath me, so slowly and so undramatically that I didn't realize it.
This process of recovering doesn't end. But something's changed. Now there's a different foundation underneath me; I'm continuing to build, but from a new place.
Yes, Fabulous!
I think that is the light we see in others eyes, perhaps - the ability to love ourselves, again. A milestone.
Thanks for contributing.........humbled by your praise
Trudgin
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Originally Posted by MrSmith
I am 64 days sober ...........
Thanks for the contribution to the thread..............can't wait to read more from you!
Trudgin
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Originally Posted by courage2
It feels eerie that you should quote this 2 days before a terrorist attack on Paris, today Nov 14, 2015. I know you posted about recovery, but today it strikes me hard that we need a new bright gleam and great & gallant company.
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