rcm2110

I wasn't sure where to post this so....

I have a job as a server- now I hate this job and I hate the service industry. I was approached about a new position in a totally different industry that would pay more and also allow me to finish my education. The place I work is high end and a lot of the customers are we'll... Not polite and often times by the end of the shift I want to pull my hair out. I hate it. Every second of it it sucks. Well last night I had had enough and since I had a new position lined up I said screw it I'm not going in tomorrow. I didn't call management or anything. I basically washed my hands of the place.
Was it professional? No. Am I going to use them as a reference? No. Will I ever do it again? I'd like to say no.
Did I cause harm? Not sure
I feel that I have the right to throw in the towel at any time if I choose not to work there but then again listening to my own thinking isn't always the best which is why I came here.
Thanks

Boleo

Does it disturb YOU? If so, that is a "cause of harm".

I would not go as far as say you must do an amends now. But I would suggest that you get some second-person input and do an amends when you are prepared to do it properly (without attachments). The sooner the better, the loss of peace of mind is no trivial matter in recovery .

beautifulpines

Hi - I agree with Boleo - give it sometime. Settle into your new position - then call them, when you are ready.

CodeJob

My son was small and wanted to play soccer. We explained to him it was a commitment to his team to be there for all practices and games. We did our part to honor his commitment. We drove him. We brought snacks on his designated day. We cheered on the sidelines - in the mud, in the snow, and in the rain. We tracked his rain outs and make up games and all the emails from the coach. Even when he didn't want to go, we reminded him if everyone made an individual's decision to not show up, the coach would not have enough players and then his team and the OTHER team couldn't play a game.

Recovery is showing up when you don't feel like it and not leaving your team in the lurch.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7KOwLaCf0y0

DoubleBarrel

Imagine that you were running a business. Is that how you would want to be treated by an employee that you gave an opportunity to?

Its not about how you perceived the place, its about how it affected them.

I think you know the answer, and a lot of your post is justifying your behavior.

Ken33xx

Did it cause harm? Who is going to cover your shift until they get a replacement?

You have the right to toss in the towel at anytime but you do owe them notice. They hired you and the fact you now decided you don`t want the job is fine. However, it`s not right to walk out like that.

On the other hand... I`m in a cut-throat business and looking for more work. I got a job acceptance starting next April. In the meantime I`m still looking and if something better comes along I will take it. Will this cause harm to company which is in the process of hiring me? Not really. There are other applicants and this company would do the same if it was in their interest to suddenly retract the offer. It`s never personal. Just business I rationalize.

So, to the OP I guess it`s up to you if you feel you need to make an amends or not .

ardy

Hi kiddo as someone that has done it all.. don't beat yourself up.. know what they could care less.. probably called someone in that was waiting for the call to work.. if you disliked that so much. forget it. water under the bridge.. but as I did .. at a job like that .. when I had my first paycheck from Stocks and Bonds office I had gone to... I went in and had a table waiting for me.. everyone that works as hard as you did will be there johnny on the spot . we miss you so much. bob stood off to the side .. the manager.. gave me that look.. I went up and put a dollar in his breast jacket pocket.. see the door over there here is me there is the door ... have a good evening. and walked out .. lovely meal.. tipped my waiter friend. he cried.. and then came to work in the same place.. Bob.. lost his job after a month.. why ... so many of the staff. said if Ardy and Dave can do this so can we.. yep.. oh by the way Bob is asst manager at a McDonalds.. sorry all this were Iam on the floor in laughter.. karma karma karma.. by the way I may work in the dock and mail room now.. but have done the Six Sigma White belt .. its tiny but I got a raise for doing that.. have option for doing the yellow and Green belt.. for free thro office here. so .. Get out there kiddo dig into that new job and go team go...

Friend Of Bill

Well amends come at step 9 are you at step 9 we cannot possibly make amends when we don't know why were making them obviously you had a resentment first we have to look at what were angry at and then look at our part in the resentment and then you will know if you harmed them and if Direct amends are needed the purpose of an amends in my opinion is to be free of our past correct the wrongs if our behavior has harmed others Direct amends can free you too many times I see people wanting to make amends before their t at 9 and that can cause more harm plus a mans aren't to say I'm sorry it means to change our behavior and our actions we learn from our past we see how our conduct and behavior has harmed others and once we become aware we are able to straighten out the past and not repeat those behaviors

zombob

It is always proper form to give an employer a heads-up of your departure--even if it's just a coupla days. Your being unhappy there and their having you on the schedule to work are miles apart in the big picture. You already did it. I doubt amends would help your old boss but maybe you if you genuinely feel bad. Sounds to me you were giving them a big middle finger due to your unhappiness--not sure if that could ever be taken back but an explanation of handling it wrong may help you--probably not them so much.

Step12

The whole idea of making amends is keeping your side of the street clean yes you want other people to be happy but you have to keep from getting resentments also an amends can be made to free your mind from guilt and resentment it is not a selfish thing but it is difficult to do in certain situations where you feel like your anger is justifiable unfortunately justifiable anger does not work well with an Alcoholicalcoholic it could kill us so if you Set sink would you rather be happy or right it's ego-based sometimes making amends when you don't want to it's character building but don't go around making amends to everybody about every little thing then they'll start to think you're a little lulu ha ha but yes if it's eating you up inside you need to look at your part as to why the situation is happening when you fitwhen you figure out what your part is in the situation you need to make an amends for that if you wish to keep your side of the street clean and be happy and whole

Berrybean

When I'm not sure about something like this, I pray for knowledge of Gods will and the power to carry it out. And usually if I started out with that jittery 'did I commit a harm?' feeling in my chest, then it soon becomes apparent after I've prayed on it what action I should take. And usually it involves forgiving or apologising, and is much less painful than anticipated.