stevieg46

Looking back over my history in AA since 1973 reads two years off booze lifted a drink lasted 6 weeks , then 1975 till 1995 20 years off booze . Must add that these periods were achieved without any involvement in the 12 step recovery program I never really changed, sure I stayed away from the 1st drink, always was in employment so my life improved financially , I still had loads of character defects all I did was remove alcohol and as I have stated before was pretty much a '' dry drunk ''.

Normal way of thinking and living proved difficult for me and I used to joke that '' Reality was an illusion caused by lack of alcohol '' .

Many alcoholics have addictive personalities and in my case alcohol was only one of them , I went to 'Gamblers Anonymous' at age of 23 and did not gamble for about two years and I drank more often and heavily and justified my actions by telling my wife that I no longer was gambling and what more did she want ? do you want me stop smoking now I asked ?.

During my 20 yr period of not drinking I had periods where I smoked dope or took pills , had affairs , gambled frequently and justified everything except the affairs ( mostly secret ) I seemed to go on a merry go round repeating these actions , always on the defense ,always trying to cover up , always telling lies ,always trying to hide something , totally dishonest and an unmanageable life .

Well it was no surprise that I got drunk as I could not live with myself I was working away from home and lifted a drink ,got drunk had a blackout and when I got back home ? well I never mentioned it, not even to AA members and for the next 11 years I had one or two drinks on a regular basis and covered it up also , I occasionally smoked a joint gambled occasionally , remained faithful and to make matters worse || 'Made out I was sober 32 years ' totally off my head .
I eventually owned up as I could not live with me due to guilt , started from the beginning got sponsor and for the first time on my life got on the 12 step recovery program and I have never looked back .

I have come to the conclusion that I was what I call an ''Excitement Chaser '' as I simply became bored just staying off alcohol but I still missed the effect or buzz and that is why I got involved in other activities that I thought relieved the boredom . I was simply to big headed and arrogant and was not interested in steps , higher powers and I thought I was a great guy .

Heard many years ago that if you are lucky enough and stay around long enough and do not get AA then AA will get you . In my case that was true but I would never recommend that procedure .

Ego deflation at depth was what it took for me to admit defeat , I no longer take mind altering drugs , do not gamble , am faithful to my wife , and I now am happy ,content , and very spiritually well , so thank you to Alcoholics Anonymous and the 12 step Recovery Program .

Redmayne

Thank you for a truly excellent and inspirational post. Well worth reading because a lot of its content resonated with me, as I'm sure it will with all those he read it, not least in terms of its credibility and honesty...

Boleo

Yet another thread where Apatheia could be be said to be the long-term solution to the problem.

stevieg46

Correct ,yes many of us tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil .

Freedom from old ideas habits and thoughts leads to a new way of living and spiritual well being .