recovery in 2015
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 57
recovery in 2015
I'm going into 2015 thinking a lot about the issue of being clean and sober. Last year, I had just gotten out of rehab at this time for my opiate addiction. This year I am challenged to remain sober from alcohol as well. It's made me think a lot about what recovery is and what a healthy life looks like. Above and beyond abstaining from this or that, I also want to have my life not revolving around having to try to not think about the liquor store. I want my life filled with other activities and thoughts, such that it's not about the battle with these substances. I'm not one for making resolutions and such, but I'd really like to shoot for a relatively drama free year that is about repairing my relationships, particularly with my wife, finding my passions again, and perhaps thinking about my career. Most of all, I hope that this time next year I will have days in which my thoughts are preoccupied with things like what I want to eat, where to go for vacation, and which book I'd rather read. To me, this is what recovery would look like.
Thoughts on what recovery for this new year means in your life?
Thoughts on what recovery for this new year means in your life?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
Courage and hope come to mind.
Courage because I have learned that sobriety and recovery don't come with immunity from the tough stuff. Earlier this year, I lost my dad. My mother's health is precarious. I've learned that I can persevere. I've learned that in adversity, I can weather the storm. Or, I can not weather the storm and return to addiction. I've chosen the former.
Hope because although life -- including a sober life -- comes with no guarantees, I am hoping for a more peaceful year nonetheless.
And another thing I've learned: the more time we gain freed from addiction, the more we do become preoccupied with more pleasant thoughts. Our next book. Which movie to see. What photo I'll take. What opportunities exist now that my life isn't governed by a bottle.
I'd like your coming year to look like that, too, Upquark. I have come to think of you as one of the bright, lovely souls here on SR. Reach for your goals and wishes. They are there for you, my friend.
Courage because I have learned that sobriety and recovery don't come with immunity from the tough stuff. Earlier this year, I lost my dad. My mother's health is precarious. I've learned that I can persevere. I've learned that in adversity, I can weather the storm. Or, I can not weather the storm and return to addiction. I've chosen the former.
Hope because although life -- including a sober life -- comes with no guarantees, I am hoping for a more peaceful year nonetheless.
And another thing I've learned: the more time we gain freed from addiction, the more we do become preoccupied with more pleasant thoughts. Our next book. Which movie to see. What photo I'll take. What opportunities exist now that my life isn't governed by a bottle.
I'd like your coming year to look like that, too, Upquark. I have come to think of you as one of the bright, lovely souls here on SR. Reach for your goals and wishes. They are there for you, my friend.
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by upquark 
... Most of all, I hope that this time next year I will have days in which my thoughts are preoccupied with things like what I want to eat, where to go for vacation, and which book I'd rather read. To me, this is what recovery would look like.
Thoughts on what recovery for this new year means in your life?
Thoughts on what recovery for this new year means in your life?
I don't buy into that kind of what I call "barely marginal recovery". I view the quality of my recovery in terms of freedom from all thoughts needing a drink in the first place. Something that I found only a spiritual awakening can do for me.
The first few moths of my recovery I had to struggle against the temptation to drink One-Arduous-Day-At-A-Time. I don't doubt that it was a phase that I had to go through but I also doubt that I could have lived that way for the rest of my life. I felt like I was constantly walking an endless tightrope or perpetually pushing a bolder uphill like "The Myth of Sisyphus".
To an outsider looking in, it may have appeared that I was 100% successful. However, on the inside, it felt like I was going STARK RAVING SOBER. I was not comfortable in my own skin even one hour a day. Something that drinking would at least give me for short periods of time.
"Quality Recovery" has given me that new found freedom of equanimity. If not all of the time, at least some of the time. More than enough to give me a break from the disturbances that make me me feel like a need a drink.
By learning that the things that disturb me are mostly caused by my own delusional thinking, I have developed a way of life where disturbances are either simply avoided or dealt with quickly enough so that they don't make me feel like I need a drink.
Thus my saying; "Not-drinking has nothing to do with why I am sober today".
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Warwickshire
Posts: 32
Upquark: Im with you...Its the time that the thinking about alcohol takes up..the obsession..when we should be thinking about more rewarding things. I am so glad I have booked my holiday to Corsica and Sardinia this coming June so there is something tangible to look forward to..rather than a bottle of vodka or some beers!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 57
These are some interesting responses.
This year is the first I am entering being honest (at least mostly I think!) with myself and others about my issues and as a result I think I have some grounds for optimism to achieve the sort of recovery we are discussing here.
Thanks Venecia, it's been a great pleasure to get to know you also
This year is the first I am entering being honest (at least mostly I think!) with myself and others about my issues and as a result I think I have some grounds for optimism to achieve the sort of recovery we are discussing here.
Thanks Venecia, it's been a great pleasure to get to know you also
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,360
Originally Posted by MIRecovery
For me it is being happy with who I am. A person who leads a full filling life without mind altering substances. Drinking or drugging simply are not part of the equation any more
Drinking for me has been a non issue for about a year now. It is what it did to me that got in the way.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
If you don't drink, you are by definition 100% successful at being sober. If you never drink again, you are no longer addicted to alcohol.
Most (maybe all, I refuse to deal in absolutes here) will take the time they spent being depressed and anxious and sick and hungover, and use it to pursue healthy activities. It is only once we are free of alcohol that we can begin to rebuild a full and rewarding life. Perhaps some of those who never really decide to quit drinking forever find themselves walking that tightrope and live 'stark raving sober'. I feel that a full and rewarding life is not a measure of the quality of sobriety, but the quality of life. I am much too busy learning new cooking skills, deciding on new places to see, new books to read, new music to learn, new challenges to accept and overcome, to worry about my quality of sobriety.
Upquark, I did this by saying yes to new opportunities. My default response had been no, for a variety of reasons. Most of these reasons had to do directly or indirectly with alcohol. So, the next time an opportunity comes along to learn and grow and develop mastery, say yes. Fill your life with rewarding activities and you will find that your concerns about your sobriety will disappear.
Most (maybe all, I refuse to deal in absolutes here) will take the time they spent being depressed and anxious and sick and hungover, and use it to pursue healthy activities. It is only once we are free of alcohol that we can begin to rebuild a full and rewarding life. Perhaps some of those who never really decide to quit drinking forever find themselves walking that tightrope and live 'stark raving sober'. I feel that a full and rewarding life is not a measure of the quality of sobriety, but the quality of life. I am much too busy learning new cooking skills, deciding on new places to see, new books to read, new music to learn, new challenges to accept and overcome, to worry about my quality of sobriety.
Upquark, I did this by saying yes to new opportunities. My default response had been no, for a variety of reasons. Most of these reasons had to do directly or indirectly with alcohol. So, the next time an opportunity comes along to learn and grow and develop mastery, say yes. Fill your life with rewarding activities and you will find that your concerns about your sobriety will disappear.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Washington, MO
Posts: 2,306
The difference is pretty big if one drank with any regularity. Finding things to fill the time that had purpose and were more honest (instead of rationalizing the cycle), less drama (sometimes hard to quit itself), better health and better overall choices. That's all enough for me to want to continue abstinence.
As for spiritual experiences I can say I've had them sober, drunk and otherwise but do not base my foundation on a contingency of spiritual "fitness". I don't drink and nothing will change that.(my twist) Best wishes.
As for spiritual experiences I can say I've had them sober, drunk and otherwise but do not base my foundation on a contingency of spiritual "fitness". I don't drink and nothing will change that.(my twist) Best wishes.
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by anattaboy
I don't drink and nothing will change that.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Warwickshire
Posts: 32
freshstart57...love it!! Thanks for that share and these thoughts keep me here on day 31 sober and enjoying being free of the shackles of alcohol and enjoying the books, planning holidays etc...!! Thanks
as a sober contributor
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: California
Posts: 1,312
Great post upquark! I was very busy and missed it till now but I'll chime in....
I spent 2014 working on myself. Changing attitudes developed over 38 years of alcohol and pot abuse. Working through the underlying reasons for my addiction with therapists and with my sponsor working the steps. Helping others by taking an active role in my AA fellowship. Trying to get in better shape to lessen my pain issues. The biggest change was learning to love myself again.
For 2015 I have several goals. First, I need to work through the final steps so that I am ready to become a sponsor and help others. Second, I want to get in good enough shape to ride my bicycle again w/o pain. Third, I am learning to love again as I received the best present EVER on Christmas... a new girlfriend!
Beyond that I am going to continue to live my life with rigorous honesty and just do the next right thing each day. That simple change has allowed me to open up to others and ask for help with working through the traumas that contributed to my addictions.
I am really glad to have met you in the chat room and look forward to hearing about your continuing progress.
Good Luck in 2015 and beyond, my friend!
I spent 2014 working on myself. Changing attitudes developed over 38 years of alcohol and pot abuse. Working through the underlying reasons for my addiction with therapists and with my sponsor working the steps. Helping others by taking an active role in my AA fellowship. Trying to get in better shape to lessen my pain issues. The biggest change was learning to love myself again.
For 2015 I have several goals. First, I need to work through the final steps so that I am ready to become a sponsor and help others. Second, I want to get in good enough shape to ride my bicycle again w/o pain. Third, I am learning to love again as I received the best present EVER on Christmas... a new girlfriend!
Beyond that I am going to continue to live my life with rigorous honesty and just do the next right thing each day. That simple change has allowed me to open up to others and ask for help with working through the traumas that contributed to my addictions.
I am really glad to have met you in the chat room and look forward to hearing about your continuing progress.
Good Luck in 2015 and beyond, my friend!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
