cloud8

Ive been a terminal relapser from 18 most untol now I got was 4 yreas. When I arrived this time I was done. In every way. Had no reservations .only a desire to not drink. All else iceing on the cake. Dont get me wrong my life has changed an im happy for the most part. Comfortable in my skin. Over 6 yrs now.mirical to say the least. Yet my being sober is not based on my happiness emotional status ect. All that can change no reserverations means to me being sober is not contigent on my happiness. Ive had boughts of not being happy having major challenges an hard times inside an out. Yet eventually got through it.
I have many who keep sayin if I was miserable I may as well drink. Its not about just not drinking. I know .but I cannot understand why anyone would drink just because they became unhappy or even use that as a condition to there not drinking.
Am I wrong. Can anyone explain it
Am I the only drunk that believes dont drink no matter what even if your ass falls off an that our sobriety cannot be contigent on anything.

soberlicious

No, you're definitely not the only one. Not drinking is a stand alone for me. It's a truth. It is not tied to any conditions, because conditions are always subject to change.

cloud8

Thanx. It makes me crindge when people say at meets id rather be drunk then miserable. Or if I was still unhappy after not drinking id drink. Or but an mayb. Imagine myself after working an continuing the princaples at lets say couple yrs sober hearing that. An having a very bad time of it for extended period. Then as a alcoholic I hear id rather be drunk the unhappy. An if u are unhappy workin steps is only way out. Me not knowing nothing is forever an sometimes the steps dont seem to help. Im screwed.then I drink.the promises are not proceded with all the time an forever. In

freshstart57

I read here frequently about folks who say their sobriety depends on some sort of state that they must be in, or it depends on doing some arbitrary set of tasks sufficiently well, or it depends on some understanding of words and how these words describe them, or it depends on awakenings of various types.

My sobriety is far too important to me to make it contingent or conditional on some list of things written down or passed down by word of mouth. My sobriety is dependent on nothing. I need do nothing in particular to remain sober, nor can anything happen to me outside of my control that would make me change my decision.

I believe that if I were to make my mental and physical health a condition of something something, the day would come when I felt those conditions were no longer being met. I would lose this most valuable condition. I read here about these same people who have found themselves in crisis and done exactly that.

I like the way you are looking at this, Cloud8. I believe that you are on the right track. Onward!

cloud8

Thanks. I question my own actions an quality of life. Lots of changes goun on now. But no real desire to do anything about it. Meaning it seems diff job attains same results. No matter were I go its ck to ck. At 50 no credit I mean bad credit. Behind on rent but not much. Bills .an now comp changes threating my income an insurence. Im just a mess. Then off to a meet were alk I here is this stuff. Ive made some bad chouces. An more good ones.now I picked up second job.im givin plasma for gas. Im doin all I know how to do. I just have no more answers steps god or not. All I know is dont drink. That remains my most important goal. Yet I do think at times thats gonna b a real downer if im homeless an with my 3 kids.lol I hit a bad bottom 6 yrs ago. Nothing left. When I hear them say id rather b drunk then .blah blah I tend to take it personal. I think your 30 you still have the privalage of sayin that. An your life. Lets see how that works when the **** hits the fan. Wrong on me. But im just fed up

matt4x4

What they probably mean is the person would be happier if they drank. Just another lie that gets repeated over and over again. Like so many other phrases said in the rooms of AA that are lies and mis-truths.