Do you have to believe that you are going to die before you stop and stay stopped?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Washington
Posts: 879
No, not for everyone. For me, yes. I know that had I kept drinking I could be dead today. To this day, I cannot believe I lived considering the amount I was consuming coupled with my behavior. I view my life as a second chance. So thankful to be sober.
Decide. Commit. Succeed.
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: On the road to recovery...
Posts: 895
Originally Posted by littlefish 
What scares me isn't dying from this disease, it is not ever really living.
Best decision I ever made!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Princeton, ID
Posts: 101
I'm glad I decided to visit today. I honestly was surprised to see people responding to me so long after the thread had been posted, but I appreciate all the responses whenever they come. I'llbkeep listening.
Thanks.
Thanks.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Fear helped me stop (doctor's warning - dead in six months) but attraction kept me sober. It took me a few weeks to decide but I chose the AA path because it looked so attractive, and I haven't been disappointed, in fact I have been amazed.
I have been completely set free, the problem no longer exists for me. And, contrary to misinformed belief, my life is not soley made up of endless meetings and constant fear of slipping if I miss my meeting. I have known for many years that meetings don't keep me sober, the steps do that. I have done and still do all kinds of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. I have been able to participate in all aspects of life, parties, travel, periods of isolation alone at sea, family, clubs, community, career, and when I can, I love to see if I can contribute something back to the organisation that saved my life. The steps lead me to rewards beyond measure.
god bless,
MikeH.
I have been completely set free, the problem no longer exists for me. And, contrary to misinformed belief, my life is not soley made up of endless meetings and constant fear of slipping if I miss my meeting. I have known for many years that meetings don't keep me sober, the steps do that. I have done and still do all kinds of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. I have been able to participate in all aspects of life, parties, travel, periods of isolation alone at sea, family, clubs, community, career, and when I can, I love to see if I can contribute something back to the organisation that saved my life. The steps lead me to rewards beyond measure.
god bless,
MikeH.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Out west
Posts: 191
The thought of death never occurred to me when I decided to give quitting a go, I just knew I had a problem. However, my physical withdrawal was worse than I anticipated. It was a real eye opener, and it scared the hell out of me.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Highland Ranch, CO
Posts: 41
I knew that I was slowly dying with my addiction and my eating disorder. I had to make a decision that my life was worth fighting for. I have found that NA is the way for me. They are the most amazing people that I have ever met and they help me so much...
50 days clean and grateful!
50 days clean and grateful!
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
Not only did I believe it, I did die. Here is just a bit of my 'story' from my thread in the 'Story Forum':
That is almost 31 years ago now. So yes, I took this disease, affliction, mental health disorder, whatever you want to call my alcoholism TO THE MAX.
In those early months of recovery in AA (it was the only game in town back then) for some reason I had no fear of dying, maybe because I already had. I can tell you I was a very angry person in early recovery, I hated everybody but mostly myself.
Although I do not wish my story on anyone, and I hope and pray that all alcoholics can find recovery before taking it to THE MAX, I do believe that because of what happened to me, there were just no doubts left, and I was able to move forward in my recovery without the Voice of King Alcohol really being able to take hold.
I am not implying that I had it all down pat, rofl because as a matter of fact my first year was he!!. I was crazy, I had mush for a brain, I had no short term memory, and I had drastic mood swings. I do however, believe it was easier for me than those that have come to recovery with 'things' (job, vehicle, home, decent clothes, etc) that can make them 'doubt'. I had NOTHING. I was TOTALLY bankrupt in all facets of my life. Financially, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
So, no I don't believe an alcoholic and/or addict has to "Do you have to believe that you are going to die before you stop and stay stopped?" in my case it worked for me.
I hope and pray you all find sobriety NOW.
Love and hugs,
In January of ’79 (when I was 33 ˝ years old) my family told me NO MORE. They would no longer help me in any way. If I called they would hang up, if I came to the door it would be closed in my face and if I tried to steal from them they would call the police. It was MY PROBLEM and I had to deal with it, they could not.
Later after being in recovery for several years, my mother finally shared with me that had they not shut the door on me, they felt they were all going to end up, locked up in a padded cell in an institution.
Well with that pronouncement, my attitude was F you. I did a geographic and moved back to California. It took me another 2 and ˝ years to find recovery and the last year and a half I lived on the streets of Hollyweird.
I can tell you today that the BEST THING MY FAMILY ever did for me was to SHUT THE DOOR ON ME as they did.
I had an old ’63 beat up ford, typical ‘alkie car’ with all four corners banged in and a coat hanger for an antenna. I mostly kept it parked at the back of the HollywoodBowlPark parking lot, under trees. Slept in it the nights I made it back to the car.
On Sunday June 7, 1981, at approximately 4:30pm (I know it was afternoon, I had a cheap $2 digital plastic watch, it said 4:30 and it was light out so knew it was afternoon) as I would take a swig in (oh btw I was a Jack Daniels and/or Wild Turkey drinker for most of my life and was on Thunderbird Wine by this time) it felt like it was coming out of every pore of my body as fast as I put it in. It was then I had no doubts left …………………….. I was dying. I was going to die soon if I kept drinking and I was going to die soon if I tried to stop, but somehow I wanted to die sober.
I put the cap back on the bottle, threw it in the back seat with the rest of the empties and started to cry. I was sitting on the concrete bumper and I did scream out
PLEASE HELP ME
Not my typical alkie prayer of “God get me out of this one and I’ll never do it again” just PLEASE HELP ME.
I can tell you it was a pretty rough night. The next morning I knew something was terribly wrong. I knew there was a hospital called Olive View in Van Nuys, had heard about it from my Wino buddies, but had no idea where it was. I started the car, intent on finding OliveViewHospital. Yes, I found the hospital, there had to be someone guiding that automobile because I had no idea where I was going.
I found out later, by reading my medical chart and by talking to the gal that was at the admissions desk that day, that I walked up to the desk, told the gal I was an alcoholic, said I hadn’t had a drink since the day before and something was drastically wrong. She told me I was green, she was hitting the emergency button under her desk, while she directed me to a chair right across from her desk, maybe a distance of 4 feet. I never made it. I went into seizures on the floor in front of her desk.
Later in reading the medical chart from that day, I found out that when I went into seizures my BAC was .38 and my body was CRAVING MORE. My heart stopped from the seizures. They would get me started again, and after a little while I would start to seizure again. This went on all day. The last time my heart stopped, I was down for 28 minutes and the ER Dr gave up. He called it and was writing the TOD on my chart (24 hours after I stopped drinking) and my heart started on it’s own. I was given a SECOND CHANCE.
Later after being in recovery for several years, my mother finally shared with me that had they not shut the door on me, they felt they were all going to end up, locked up in a padded cell in an institution.
Well with that pronouncement, my attitude was F you. I did a geographic and moved back to California. It took me another 2 and ˝ years to find recovery and the last year and a half I lived on the streets of Hollyweird.
I can tell you today that the BEST THING MY FAMILY ever did for me was to SHUT THE DOOR ON ME as they did.
I had an old ’63 beat up ford, typical ‘alkie car’ with all four corners banged in and a coat hanger for an antenna. I mostly kept it parked at the back of the HollywoodBowlPark parking lot, under trees. Slept in it the nights I made it back to the car.
On Sunday June 7, 1981, at approximately 4:30pm (I know it was afternoon, I had a cheap $2 digital plastic watch, it said 4:30 and it was light out so knew it was afternoon) as I would take a swig in (oh btw I was a Jack Daniels and/or Wild Turkey drinker for most of my life and was on Thunderbird Wine by this time) it felt like it was coming out of every pore of my body as fast as I put it in. It was then I had no doubts left …………………….. I was dying. I was going to die soon if I kept drinking and I was going to die soon if I tried to stop, but somehow I wanted to die sober.
I put the cap back on the bottle, threw it in the back seat with the rest of the empties and started to cry. I was sitting on the concrete bumper and I did scream out
PLEASE HELP ME
Not my typical alkie prayer of “God get me out of this one and I’ll never do it again” just PLEASE HELP ME.
I can tell you it was a pretty rough night. The next morning I knew something was terribly wrong. I knew there was a hospital called Olive View in Van Nuys, had heard about it from my Wino buddies, but had no idea where it was. I started the car, intent on finding OliveViewHospital. Yes, I found the hospital, there had to be someone guiding that automobile because I had no idea where I was going.
I found out later, by reading my medical chart and by talking to the gal that was at the admissions desk that day, that I walked up to the desk, told the gal I was an alcoholic, said I hadn’t had a drink since the day before and something was drastically wrong. She told me I was green, she was hitting the emergency button under her desk, while she directed me to a chair right across from her desk, maybe a distance of 4 feet. I never made it. I went into seizures on the floor in front of her desk.
Later in reading the medical chart from that day, I found out that when I went into seizures my BAC was .38 and my body was CRAVING MORE. My heart stopped from the seizures. They would get me started again, and after a little while I would start to seizure again. This went on all day. The last time my heart stopped, I was down for 28 minutes and the ER Dr gave up. He called it and was writing the TOD on my chart (24 hours after I stopped drinking) and my heart started on it’s own. I was given a SECOND CHANCE.
In those early months of recovery in AA (it was the only game in town back then) for some reason I had no fear of dying, maybe because I already had. I can tell you I was a very angry person in early recovery, I hated everybody but mostly myself.
Although I do not wish my story on anyone, and I hope and pray that all alcoholics can find recovery before taking it to THE MAX, I do believe that because of what happened to me, there were just no doubts left, and I was able to move forward in my recovery without the Voice of King Alcohol really being able to take hold.
I am not implying that I had it all down pat, rofl because as a matter of fact my first year was he!!. I was crazy, I had mush for a brain, I had no short term memory, and I had drastic mood swings. I do however, believe it was easier for me than those that have come to recovery with 'things' (job, vehicle, home, decent clothes, etc) that can make them 'doubt'. I had NOTHING. I was TOTALLY bankrupt in all facets of my life. Financially, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
So, no I don't believe an alcoholic and/or addict has to "Do you have to believe that you are going to die before you stop and stay stopped?" in my case it worked for me.
I hope and pray you all find sobriety NOW.
Love and hugs,
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: CA
Posts: 7
Everyone has their bottom; they vary greatly and are each uniquely personal.
Many know not what their bottom is until the moment they hit it. Some go so far as to almost dying. I was far from that, but had the cruel realization, nonetheless.
Hitting bottom is when you lose something more important to you than the drink.
Many know not what their bottom is until the moment they hit it. Some go so far as to almost dying. I was far from that, but had the cruel realization, nonetheless.
Hitting bottom is when you lose something more important to you than the drink.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
no, you dont have to believe you are going to die to stop and stay stopped. you have to get honest with yourself and admit alcohol is a problem, THEN do something about it. you can sober up a drunken horse theif, but ya still got a horse theif.
in my case, i was gonna die. it was gonna be suicide. i felt useless and worthless and hated everything about me.
in my case, i was gonna die. it was gonna be suicide. i felt useless and worthless and hated everything about me.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 6
TheOnlyDryPaddy
I know what your going through. I quit recently with Rational Recovery. Addiction is basically that constant second guessing yourself, you are not sure whether you should quit, I am by no means an alcoholic, but I went on like this for months, second guessing myself, and yes, moderating 9/10 times but then messing up and putting my life in danger, or breaking the law. Its just not worthit.
Quiting for me was just taking the plunge, committing to never drink again in my life, just say that to yourself and suddenly you hear that voice in your head saying "wait a second buddy, you aren't that bad, you aren't an alcoholic, you can learn to moderate, if you don't moderate your a weak person, your a fool, your a loser," bla bla bla bla. That's called the addictive voice and it comes from what we call "The Beast". I suggest you check out RR. I was just like you and its the only thing that helped.
When you quit, you must never recall the Reason or Motive, you just quit and never ever second guess it again. The more you allow yourself to engage in those thoughts you feed the fire. In RR you basically seperate from those thoughts, naturally, its simplistic.
I'm on twitter if anyone wants to chat...
Justin_Laconia.
I know what your going through. I quit recently with Rational Recovery. Addiction is basically that constant second guessing yourself, you are not sure whether you should quit, I am by no means an alcoholic, but I went on like this for months, second guessing myself, and yes, moderating 9/10 times but then messing up and putting my life in danger, or breaking the law. Its just not worthit.
Quiting for me was just taking the plunge, committing to never drink again in my life, just say that to yourself and suddenly you hear that voice in your head saying "wait a second buddy, you aren't that bad, you aren't an alcoholic, you can learn to moderate, if you don't moderate your a weak person, your a fool, your a loser," bla bla bla bla. That's called the addictive voice and it comes from what we call "The Beast". I suggest you check out RR. I was just like you and its the only thing that helped.
When you quit, you must never recall the Reason or Motive, you just quit and never ever second guess it again. The more you allow yourself to engage in those thoughts you feed the fire. In RR you basically seperate from those thoughts, naturally, its simplistic.
I'm on twitter if anyone wants to chat...
Justin_Laconia.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Holbaek, Denmark
Posts: 25
I'm not as scared of dying before I get sober as I once was. Now I'm more afraid that I'm gonna die soon if I don't stop. But I try to use it as motivation rather than something that will keep me trapped in unhealthy thoughts.
I believe all fear is healthy as long as its rational and it makes you act.
I believe all fear is healthy as long as its rational and it makes you act.
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