fourmaggie

i am in AL ANON, and my whole family is pretty much in recovery...and well its not know to me, it is to my children..

i don t know if i am posting this in a good place or not, but i need the recovery members that have the program....

my aunt (age 45) is in its 5th year of soberity, going on 6 years in October...

my daughter AGE 9, and her where talking...and it was my daughters birthday...my Aunt has a dog, we have a cat...

my daughter was holding on to the cat..and the little friend said "bring into the room." my daughter replies " i cant, my aunt smells..."

now i knew what she meant by this...the cat gets all funky with my aunt there because of the scent of the dog....

my Aunt took it as a dig....that she smells....she came over tonite to tell my daughter that she was very hurt by the comment that she had made...my daughter did not know what to say and ran up stairs crying...
I wonder, who was the sensitive one here...

i was, well, stunned....I did not know what to say or do....

any comments will be appreciated...

Dee74

I'd just tell the aunt what your daughter meant - that the cat smells the dog on your Aunt and freaks out.

If you have explained this to her, then I doubt there's anything more you can do but throw your hands up until she sees sense.

I don't really see this as an alcoholic AA/Al Anon issue Maggie.

I can't really see it as an honesty issue either - it's a silly misunderstanding and overreaction - it's just one of those ridiculous things that tends to get blown up out of all proportion in some families - like mine...

I hope peace reigns again soon
D

fourmaggie

Ann i would normally agree....but my AUNT was very sturn with my daughter about how displeased she was about the comment that was made....over sensitive on my AUNTs part yes....my daughter is only 9...she says what she says....

ok, maybe its not an AA recovery issue per say....but everything with my AUNT is always about AA....

it was very hard to see a 46 year old woman talk to my daughter about something that my daughter was "making a no big deal about"....

i did tell my aunt what she said was possibly mis quoted...she stands correct that she knew she meant about her hygeine level???...to me, it was an over sensitive part on my AUNT...but for now...its a none talking issue rite now with my AUNT....

Dee74

I'd find it hard too if someone had rounded on my 9 yo daughter like that, Maggie.

PS I'm not Ann - although we both like cheesecake and have red hair

D

fourmaggie

oops, i am sorry....had too much coffee...damn excuses...my mistake....

and your rite...but i was sturn also, saying, she is learning and she is only 9, its something i will have to discuss..

thanks for the imput...others read it, but no comments...sometimes i wish people where not so shy....

JOIN in. we dont bite...LOL...

jallonee

Don't worry you have the right to make things good for her and to your family.

susanlauren

Maggie,
It was a silly misunderstanding. Kids say things that aren't always expressed well, and sometimes kids say things that are uncensored and unintentionally hurtful. That's kids. I am sure your daughter did not mean to hurt your aunt with her comment. Your aunt overreacted. Does your aunt have kids of her own? If not, that would explain a lot. Have you explained to your daughter why your aunt reacted the way she did? Did you reassure your daughter that you know what she meant and that she did not mean any hurt or harm? Did you gently explain to her how she might explain it differently in the future? Some motherly diplomacy would work wonders here -- a hug, a cuddle, something special, a treat. Then let it go. Maybe your aunt will gain an awareness that her reaction was over the top. Maybe not.
Susan