2oldforthis

Thanks for all the common sense advice. I did try to PM people but can't as yet (not enough posts). bob sapp...you remind me of my dad and grandfather, they're not here to talk to now, but even when they were, no talking allowed

LogCabin

I sent you an PM with contact info so we can write/talk more privately.

Hugs to you.

2oldforthis

It seems I need at least 5 posts to send or receive PM's.

2oldforthis

So this should make 5.

LogCabin

LOL...Did you get it? I'll send again.

RobbyRobot

hi 2oldforthis,
welcome to SR! i am struck by your use of the word "comfort" and "forgive" in the same sentence. my take on that is your mind [if not your hurting heart] is open. resentments are a terrible thing to nurse as they sap away our deeper strengths and virtues. imo unwanted resentments are simply unresolved hurts saved up in an angry heart. and its hard not to be angry when you discover something is killing you, and you've been a party to it for many years. my own clean start days were so difficult, as i took everything about me and my life personally. totally subjective. i thought i had been objective, but in hindsight i was not. i was just a simple fool.

wanting to stop drinking will put you on a collision path with your darker self, and so recovery management must be available as you begin your journey else relapse gains traction and you don't want that. prepare for battle with your monsters. that plan can begin as simple as don't pick up and fellowship with peers helping one another to stay clean. surrender what ever you can to save your self.

imo 2oldforthis, we don't have to believe in anything of consequence to achieve a strong start in quitting drinking. just looking to your day today and then going back a bit through your inventory [personal history in relation to your alcoholism] should keep you busy for several months when done deeply and with some passion.

i began getting clean/sober without any deep convictions of humanity and the universe. i couldn't have cared any less, believe me, at the time. i had plenty of time to catch up on myself later, and i was more able to understand those struggles as well.

a desire to quit was all i had for several months. its all i needed. its all you need too, imo. don't sweat the small stuff please. all the heavy lifting is in the desire to quit. and you already have that!

Robby

noooooly

I really liked 2olds post. It gives me a chance to open my yap.

My personal feeling is that Bill W's 12 step Spirituality is an off-shoot of E. Fox's and others work in the early 20th century. "Spiritualism", Emmet's word not mine, seems to be a recognized theist (religious) doctrine. At least by the IRS.

Although I don't believe in DAT (Drinking and Typing), I do share a similar feeling of perhaps "thinly veiled lip service" with regard to an monotheistic, omni-benificent God of Abraham vs. a monotheistic, omni-benificent Higher Power. Heck, if it quacks (prays) like a duck, walks (meditates) like a duck...

Here's my problem. I tend to have far fewer stem burns, track marks, open sores, DUI's, judges, lawyers, county time, hard time, depression, skull blinding fear and anxiety when I hang around these stupid rooms full of God-Tards. I hope the mod doesn't censor that, then I'll get a resentment.

During the closing prayer, while politely giving lip service to fit in, I surreptitiously check out the ladies.

Oh, like I'm the only one!

RobbyRobot

:wtf2

Terraero

run out of money.

Mala09

I don't have any answers as such about how you stop (I went to AA and just did the Steps and kept going to meetings) but looking at your 'name' one thing I do know is that I did feel too old to carry on after 30 years of abusing alcohol. It hurt me I had wasted so many years of my adult life and I was tired of my own excuses and the harm I was doing to those around me.

Good luck tomorrow and hope to see you here agin

Love

Mala