david_is_loved

Hello again. Last time I posted asking about somthing that David was doing (what typer of drugs it was) and he had said he quit. I found out the other day tghat he had been at his cousins house and they had been doin it all again and now I am ,again, worried about him casue I love him but hate that he is doing this and thinking it is a way to get rid of all the problems he has but he knows it isn't . I can't stand it anymore and now whenever he is gone (from the internet) fro more then a day and I dont know where he is I worry that he is doing drugs again :-(.

BSPGirl

Well you obviously care for this David guy a lot. I'm not sure what your relation to him is: partner, parent or just a friend? Anyway, do keep in mind that you can't help him, basically, he's gotta do it himself. You can support him but he's gotta do it. I understand that sometimes letting someone go is really hard (especially for parents) but sometimes it's for the best. Keep asking him to be open about it and offer him to help him when he seeks help for his problems.

david_is_loved

ok thankyou and yes i know i cant make him stop i just wish i could and he is a very good friend but lives in pennsylvania and i am in ohio

BSPGirl

I see, that's quite some distance. Are you being able to see him regulary tho? I know from experience how devastating distance can be in a relationship.

david_is_loved

No i dont get to see him i talk to him every day on the internet though. He says that he feels that it is a temporary fix to his problems and he knows it is only temporary.

angelgirl

Hi there, you are a very kind, caring person..
Just know that there is NOTHING you can do to make him stop.. No matter how much you love/care about him, you just can't make him stop doing whatever it is he is doing. Many, Many husbands/wives/children/parents/ and on, and on.... have tried to make/help the people they love stop doing drugs, it is VERY hurtful for them, and they find after all the pain and struggle, that they can not make someone else quit drugs,,,
only the person doing the drugs can stop, and that is usually when they have had ENOUGH of feeling terrible, sick, sad, embarrased, guilty, and so on..
You can only learn to deal with it on your end. I am not saying this to be at ALL mean, I am just trying to help you understand. It's so hard, and it's very hard for the person that's not using the drugs to understand why the person they love is doing things that will hurt themselves, and also hurt you... But it truly has nothing to do with you, or any loved one, it's a disease, and it's terribly hard to find recovery..
I hope you will also check out the nar-anon forum, down the page from this (substance abuse) . You may learn alot from the people there..
If you believe in god, pray about it, everyday, pray for him, and pray for strength for you.. This helps.
If you didn't already, you could always show him this website, at sober recovery, maybe he will like it, and find hope, and help...
Take care, Love, Becky