I’m so happy I found the forum, please forgive the long post. I am deeply struggling with my codependency to my now ex addict boyfriend. We met in elementary school and shared crushes on each other for many, many years. Fast forward to 10 months ago and we reconnected and began dating. It was amazing and so intense! We are both 52 and he has 2 young sons (4 and 6) from his previous marriage. I also fell in love with his sweet children.

One day as I payed my head on his pillow I felt something poke me in the head, I came to find out it was a crack pipe. He swore up and down it was an old girlfriends who must have left it there, but looking back now I always knew that was a lie. But I stayed. I lost my only sibling to crack 19 years ago as well as my nephew 9 years ago so I am all too familiar with addicts and lies though I’ve never used myself.

We had a dear friends father pass away and he didn’t show up for the funeral telling us he was in a horrible car accident- I knew it was a lie and went with a friend to his house where we found him naked and high with a prostitue locked in his bathroom. It was awful, but it got much worse. Again, I stayed because he agreed to detox. Then he began living with me to get out of his surroundings and he began drinking heavily, I called the police when he left driving drunk one night and they arrested him. Within a month he got another dui and spent a month in jail. He lost the right to see his kids unless I was present. He lost his drivers license and now has failed his probation and has an active warrant. During all of this he bought me a very, very expensive engagement ring. I said I wasn’t ready till he cleans up but accepted the ring. I made him leave a month ago and now he’s back at his home with the $2,500 a day prostitue who also delivers his crack. I know this sounds sick but months ago he told me i could put cameras in his house to help me trust him.... so i did without telling him. I saw him getting oral sex from a prostitue and it also looked as though she put a needle into his grion? It was awful to see them tweet out and hear them talk. I have been threatened by his very scary dealer and now my ex won t even speak to me and has me blocked. I know this is the best thing he can do but it’s driving me nuts. I want to help him but know I’m helpless!!! Unfortunately, he is extremely wealthy and won’t run out of money anytime soon. I’ve sent to police to his home on several wellness checks and yet he never gets arrested! I’ve become obsessed with worry and frankly anger. I’ve driven by only to see the prostitues car in his driveway. He keeps promising rehab but never goes. I basically had a nervous breakdown and spent a week in the hospital over all of this. How do I let go??!!

Thank you Dee.