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I don't know what to do

Old 07-25-2016, 10:24 PM
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I don't know what to do

I met my boyfriend about a year ago. He is addicted to heroin. When i met him i had no idea that the addiction was this bad he made it sound like he was clean and had been from any drugs he had used in the past. Before I knew it i was hooked in this relationship and had fallen in love before i could even have realized the extent of his problem. We became friends first and after a couple months he had a fallout with his friend that he had been staying with who is also an addict and at the time had no where else to go and called me asking if he could crash at my place and i let him in. I deal with chronic pain which led to anxiety and depression. He made me feel normal again and like my old self and we have an incredible bond that i have only ever felt with one other person in my life and didn't think i would feel that with anyone else and this bond seems to go much deeper for me than my first. because of his addiction lying and sneaking around and fighting in the relationship were all involved. i consider myself to be a very smart person and have never put myself in a situation like this and sometimes hate myself for doing it.

a few months ago the worst of this worst started and we had a falling out and broke up and didnt speak for over two weeks. In those two weeks his grandma who i had built a relationship with connected with me as she often does when she hasn't heard anything from him in a few days. I told her i hadn't spoken to him and we broke up he never tells his family or friends anything but good about us because he always has that hope for him and i. in those two weeks his grandma had informed me that he had hit rock bottom and his mother and sisters who have not had contact with him at this point in a long time for the most part had taken him in and were helping him get to rehab. his grandma was concerned because they were sending him to California and was worried about him being out there all by himself and asked if i minded talking to him and getting more info. against my better judgment i did and met up to talk to him and we rekindled everything. he told me he loved me (he's claimed to have fallen in love with me pretty much at first sight and that he has never told anyone before that he loves them) and that he wanted to be with me and only me and was going to rehab for himself but a lot of the reason was for me and our baby, I'm currently 20 weeks pregnant. of course i couldnt resist him and fell back into the trap because i do love this man with all of my heart despite all the bumps in our relationship. I agreed then to meet his mom who i had never met before and his sisters who i had briefly met once before. i immediately fell in love with his family and they are so excited about this baby which is another big reason i think they allowed him back into their lives to get him help. after we all saw him leave on the plane we stayed around talking at the airport for awhile and his family made sure to tell me that no matter what happens from here on out they are here for me and the baby and wanted me to know i am a huge part in him even wanting to get clean and I've been a great influence on him (I've never done drugs and i only drink occasionally).

once he got to rehab they were nice and let him make 1 phone call a day during detox which he always made to me. once he was done with detox they are allowed cell phones but he doesn't have one right now and I've been reluctant to send one in fear of him keeping contact with the wrong people so he's been borrowing others cell phones to call me everyday and his mother and grandma every couple days. all was good and i was never worried about any romance happening there because he continually told me he loved me and our baby and couldn't wait to be home and how much better and clearer he has been thinking since detoxing. his counselor contacts his mom once a week and says he's doing so good and truly believes he wants this. now my boyfriend is an extremely attractive guy and has had many partners and is always being hit on by men and women. last sunday he called me in the afternoon and then said he would call me later to say goodnight well i never heard from him which was fine i know he's in rehab and borrowing others phones so no big deal. monday came and went and i still hadn't heard from him, again strange but not a huge deal i know he's working on himself and I'm so proud of him for that. fast forward to friday of last week and i get a call after five days of not hearing from him which is a bit of a red flag when the past three weeks he's called me multiple times a day to tell me that he loves and misses me. i made a comment about it and he said "oh i thought it had only been like three days". I know he's in rehab and i told him that and i understood he was working on himself so i wasn't mad or anything i was just worried something had happened to him as not even his family had heard from him either and he's been known to just disappear from places. so a little strange he hadn't contacted me but i was fine it was more strange that this man who says he loves me so much and misses me hadn't even realized how many days it had been when he usually counts the seconds when he hasn't talked to me but whatever again he's in rehab i let it go. now we agreed i would monitor his Facebook bc i obviously have trust issues that I'm trying to work on. two days later he gets a friend request from a girl who i suspected was in rehab with him so i accepted it i was curious. two more days and she messages him privately, I'm still curious and as immature as it was i replied pretending to be him. basically she led on that they have had a thing whether it be emotional or physical i never got that out of her. i mentioned it to my bf when he called yesterday as i was upset. he said he would talk to her today. i get another nice message saying "you aren't (name here)....your his baby mama....srry...you get no more info from me...thats you and his prob to deal with. he let me know to not talk to you". that to me says yeah we've had a fling here and he warned me so that i don't say anything bad to you. oh and this girl lives in the same area as we do back home. he couldn't find someone in a different state? no i feel like I'm going to have to deal with this when they are both out now. so i have been sitting on this all day and he finally calls me at 1230 my time and i immediately start crying and he's obviously denying it and saying she only sent that because she was mad he told her they couldn't talk and be friends. when someone doesn't refer to me as a gf but his baby mama that screams problem to me as well and is insulting. my bf has had many partners but i have only had 3 my whole life and i don't give it up easily i need to be comfortable with the guy so to use the term baby mama is insulting to me. of course we got in a fight and he hung up on me first i started sobbing tried calling the number twice and was sent to voicemail. a few min later he called and at this point he didn't know the sex of the baby but i was mad told him it was a boy and to go screw himself and hung up. I'm hormonal and i lashed out. I'm sorry this is so long but its been a long year and I'm just lost on what to do its hard to trust him after being repeatedly lied to and idk whether to just try to move on with my son or what to do.
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Old 07-25-2016, 10:49 PM
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Hi Lost, welcome to SR.

I haven't any experience of what you're going through, I'm sorry, but There is a 'friends and family' forum you will find many people in a similar situations.

I want to give you a big hug for you and your baby
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Old 07-26-2016, 01:02 AM
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Hi Lost x
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