misstee1234

Bad adderal addict for almost 6 years ive quit for periods of time before with major life changes and healthy choices. I know im more than capable but find myself back here except this tome mptivation is at a deep. Low.

Major. Thing...my dad whom has been an addict all my life recently passed. Im a firm believer in after life and hes been sick for awhile so tryed to prepare or say goodbye for along time now but im slippping into out of site out of mind syndrom and using to keep busy to avoid feelings and such. Help

cleaninLI

Hi misstee! Welcome to SR! I'm sorry about your Dad! I found myself in the same spot as you a few years ago...only it was my Mom who was very sick and dying. I used pain pills to numb my feelings. Maybe at the time it worked....but as soon as I got clean all grief came flooding back to me. I guess we never grieve until we are clean and sober? At least I didn't. But I found it was essential to go thru that period of mourning in order to reach acceptance. Today I've reached that point....it wasn't easy though. I think stalling the process only made it harder. The good thing is that I feel like my Mom knows I'm finally clean....and I think she's proud of me.

Prayers going up for you that you can find the strength to do what needs to be done, and that you can feel this awesome peace and freedom that is yours waiting for you on the recovery side.