I am new to Sobriety.....
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Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 11
I am new to Sobriety.....
Hello All,
I enjoy the kind words I read on hear and I have been reading for a long time. I am an addict of ten plus years now and I am currently on my 9th day of complete sobriety. I quit Meth, Opiates, Marijuana and Nicotine Cold Turkey! On May 6th. I was an IV user and for the past year and a half was using apx. 300mg of dilaudid per day. If I didn't have dilauadid I used oxymorphone which is Opana and we got the generic version so it can be easily IV prepped. I was so scared to stop. I thought I would go into shock and die so I have never attempted soberness. I have an angel of a daughter who I lost due to my addiction and now I have for the first time a chance to be in her life and I cry all the time because I am happy.
I sat in a room with my mother shooting up for the past 18 months. I was disgusted with myself and finally called my sister who I had disowned for the past 7 years and without an instant of hesitation she said I will be there in 3 hours. I broke down crying instantly. I have been a horrible father and brother and at my worst my family is still here for me. I will never use again.
I am finally not experiencing physical symptoms just barely any energy. I want to say to all out there that getting clean and sober is all about how bad you want it. I thought with my usage and tolerance I would be on some kind of drug the rest of my life. Not true. I woke up in hospital after the 3-4th day into withdraws. I remember waking one time in the ambulance because the hospital is about 30 min from my sisters and we totaled the ambulance by hitting a large deer. Other than that I can remember fading in and out of screaming pain and agony. Let me just say, death might seem like a better option at first but it is possible to achieve sobriety. I am starting sessions soon and going back to living a more social and wonderful life. I am groggy from it all still but on day 9 it feels like I have accomplished the impossible.
I enjoy the kind words I read on hear and I have been reading for a long time. I am an addict of ten plus years now and I am currently on my 9th day of complete sobriety. I quit Meth, Opiates, Marijuana and Nicotine Cold Turkey! On May 6th. I was an IV user and for the past year and a half was using apx. 300mg of dilaudid per day. If I didn't have dilauadid I used oxymorphone which is Opana and we got the generic version so it can be easily IV prepped. I was so scared to stop. I thought I would go into shock and die so I have never attempted soberness. I have an angel of a daughter who I lost due to my addiction and now I have for the first time a chance to be in her life and I cry all the time because I am happy.
I sat in a room with my mother shooting up for the past 18 months. I was disgusted with myself and finally called my sister who I had disowned for the past 7 years and without an instant of hesitation she said I will be there in 3 hours. I broke down crying instantly. I have been a horrible father and brother and at my worst my family is still here for me. I will never use again.
I am finally not experiencing physical symptoms just barely any energy. I want to say to all out there that getting clean and sober is all about how bad you want it. I thought with my usage and tolerance I would be on some kind of drug the rest of my life. Not true. I woke up in hospital after the 3-4th day into withdraws. I remember waking one time in the ambulance because the hospital is about 30 min from my sisters and we totaled the ambulance by hitting a large deer. Other than that I can remember fading in and out of screaming pain and agony. Let me just say, death might seem like a better option at first but it is possible to achieve sobriety. I am starting sessions soon and going back to living a more social and wonderful life. I am groggy from it all still but on day 9 it feels like I have accomplished the impossible.
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Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 11
I want to let you all in on something that worked like heaven for me. In the beginning they say that hot baths are great. Well if that is not an option for you, My sister put my blanket in the dryer and maid it super hot and kept them rotating out so anytime I needed a new one she had one for me. This is just as good as a hot bath if not better cause you don't have to get wet.
I myself am on day 1 (again) and I hope I can get thru to 9 days and beyond even. Best of luck to you! One day at a time.
you are doing it.....it's all so worth it, May God Bless you and your journey!
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4,966
Jekylnhide, congrats on your 9 days! It looks like you have lots of support. That's wonderful! You can do this....you never ever have to do those nine days over....never have to go thru all that pain and discomfort!
I'm so glad that you're here! Keep posting....you are not alone!
I'm so glad that you're here! Keep posting....you are not alone!
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Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 11
Thank you all for those kind words. My stomach is playing games with me today. Like cramping up and then not. I took some Imodium AD just a bit ago. But day 9 is so much better than the first week which was living hell. I can not wait until I feel like a man again and can start some work around my sisters house. She deserves so much and I want to help her for being there for me. I can not wait till that day comes.
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Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 11
Thank you all. It is by far the hardest thing I have ever done. The good news is that I am rebuilding my life in all areas. I have to remind myself to take it slow. I go through these moments when I feel good and then I do to much and start to feel bad again.
They say take it one day at a time, I am literally just going hour by hour. I cant wait to get back to work. I started to mow the yard and then it started raining, so I came in and and am now trying to help my sister catch up on her and her kids laundry. 2 loads done! haha!
For the first time I feel good being sober and today is the first day I didn't feel like cheating just to feel a little better. I could have had some in the hospital but declined only cause I knew I shouldn't, not cause I didn't want too. Now I really don't want them. I have to tell myself I will get sick sometime in my life. I don't always have to use drugs to not feel sick. it will happen and when it does I have to fight through it like this rather than go to the drugs.
They say take it one day at a time, I am literally just going hour by hour. I cant wait to get back to work. I started to mow the yard and then it started raining, so I came in and and am now trying to help my sister catch up on her and her kids laundry. 2 loads done! haha!
For the first time I feel good being sober and today is the first day I didn't feel like cheating just to feel a little better. I could have had some in the hospital but declined only cause I knew I shouldn't, not cause I didn't want too. Now I really don't want them. I have to tell myself I will get sick sometime in my life. I don't always have to use drugs to not feel sick. it will happen and when it does I have to fight through it like this rather than go to the drugs.
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Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 11
Originally Posted by four812 
I'm happy for you. Thanks for sharing. Maybe tonight if I decide to use I will read your post first and maybe do the right thing
Everyone here is awesome so far and I cant believe how well I have been coming along. I never thought day 10 would be looking at me in the eyes but here it is only 7 hours away.
I can't wait for the day I can help pay it forward. It is right around the corner.
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Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 11
Hello All. Sorry for the silence. It was very hard for me on week 2 and into week 3. I had a bad stress trigger which caused me to go backwards in physical symptoms. I am still clean and sober and from the last day I posted I was dealing with insomnia extremely bad and vomiting and diarrhea but I am holding down solid foods and I went fishing today which was fun. Caught a lot of fish. I am gaining my strength back little by little but it hasn't been easy.
I will post more about my bad trigger story that caused the setback in the morning. I have to try and sleep now. god bless you all.
I will post more about my bad trigger story that caused the setback in the morning. I have to try and sleep now. god bless you all.
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