Ivis

Hi, i'm back again like i was gone far enough, as i wrote in my first thread -
forums/substance-abuse/269554-living-same-week-over-again.html#post3600941

i was sober 4 months and i was pretty confident about myself i actually believed that i would never drink or use somthing and now i back again to live the same week again the feeling that i would never get further than one week, every time i put myself together and starting thinking about my future get planed everything step by step and by the end of the week it's all gone and i must start all over, the thing is i don't believe in myself and starting to see that there is no point to do anything cuz that one day will come and ruined everything. I never use drugs when i am sober and advice would be just don't drink and you will be golden yes i know but i don't know really whats happening in my head, how could i drink and to be aware what will come next and it's like i'm fooling myself and at this point i kinda don't know what to do i really don't want to use it i like when i am sober i feel great to go hiking and stuff i smile everyday but what is this thing inside me that are killing me like thats not me cuz i'm not like that. Please give some advice or anything i don't know somthing hold onto.

YoungAndClean

The best advice I can think of is stop trying to do this alone. I don't know what kind of support you have but alcholism/drug addiction is a serious problem and its not something that a person can overcome without serious help. I tried countless times to quit but until I asked God to help me and went into AA with an open mind I couldn't last. There is a correct way to do this recovery thing, and it works.

Forrest

I found i was always planning everything way before i should have and when I'd slip up it would hurt more than it should have because i had set so many goals and it wasn't realistic to do that at the time. I just try and worry about one day at a time and things are getting really good now a couple days shy of six months. I'm achieving some of my goals, reaching some things that are in my plan but i try not to focus on them in my day to day..cause I'll get there if i don't drink and use.

sobersonja

I really liked what Forrest and Young and Clean have replied . I too have five months clean time,and Ican only do it if I take suggestions I'm told. I've had four years clean time about five years ago. And I really did feel so peaceful,so happy joyious(a new feeling)and FREE. I am doing ok now,but have to work on my twelve steps with my sponsor because I know that is what works,cause thousands stay clean doing them. I have also learned more about what caused my relapse. I have also learned my best thinking got me here,(almost dead) so I will surrender my will to my higher power and listen to suggestions.And actually do them,hahaha. Ialso was so fearful of speaking in meetings,social phobia. But thats one reason I relapsed. Also hard to talk about feelings,but I know most everyone has that fear also . It gets easier with time huh? Sorry Ive talked so much. I know when I had seven months once,I started running the show again, overconfident,prideful etc...and the old saying"pride cometh before the fall"is so true. I wish you well Ivis and hope you will keep trying.

sobersonja

"I cannot think my way into a new way of living.But live my way into a new way of thinking" One day at a time.

sobersonja