free2luv26

First off, Happy New Years Eve to you all. Im home with the fam tonight and kicking myself because I was week and used the other night. I dont know wtf is wrong with me. Why do I keep doing this to myself. I dont feel worthy of God or my NA/AA peers. After everything Ive been thru with it you would think I could say no but it was right there and I couldnt....scratch that...I DIDNT say no.

Dee74

I don't think anyones unworthy of love respect or recovery free2luv...

2013 is a new year...new begininngs...set aside your regrets and reach out for help and support

D

LadyinBC

We are all worth saving. Pick yourself up and dust yourself off and continue on. There are lots of us who have relapsed. Keep trying and don't give up on yourself, you are worth the fight.

Outfielder

Try to learn from the relapse and get back into it. Self flagellation doesn't prevent future relapses. Nothing is wrong with you, relapse is something all of us addicts deal with. I'm certain that your NA/AA peers will help you get back on the right path.

Outfielder

Oh, and Happy New Year to you!!!

Lyoness

I agree with everyone! When I started on the suboxone I relapsed after only 4 days! I thought truly no one is as pathetic as that! Then I did it again the next week. It took only one problem with my medication coverage for me to dive right back in! Again I felt like the most pathetic being in the Universe.

But my two dear friends, neither of whom is an addict, reached out and reminded me that relapse is part of the journey, especially at the very beginning when our sobriety is beyond fragile. So I remind you. It is part of the journey and like everyone says, pick yourself back up and keep on trying. And do keep reaching out here and at your NA/AA, too. We all know or we wouldn't be here.

Take good care of yourself.

georgiagirl5

Relapse seems to be part of recovery. It doesn't seem to be linear. Also you may not feel worthy of God but believe me He still loves you no matter what.

Dee74

I'd modify that a bit - relapse is a common part of addiction...but it's not a part of recovery...

it sometimes takes a bit of a run up to achieve escape velocity from addiction I think...I got sucked back in many many times.

I think the thing is to keep adding support, and trying different things?

D

free2luv26

Thank you everyone. I hadnt been to a meeting in a while and hadnt thought about my sobriety or worked on the steps at all so maybe thats why I did it. I dont know why and I dont think its a good idea for myself, to over analyze it. But I do need to work on it. Every time I relapse it makes me feel so unworthy but I do know that God loves me and I know he will bring me thru anything. Thank you all for the encouragement and support.

Lyoness

Hi Dee, I'd like to know more of your thinking on this if you'd care to elaborate, I always find what you say so useful and helpful.

In my experience what I learned, including from the addiction clinic, does seem to say that a slip or lapse--not a full relapse--is often part of the journey of recovery. Of getting to that full escape velocity that we all seek so desperately.

My counselor clarified a slip/lapse is using once or twice and getting right back into/continuing recovery and that a relapse is going back out there and giving up on recovery.

Thanks.

georgiagirl5

Yup, I do think there is a difference between a relapse and a slip. To me, the author of this thread was describing a slip. I do believe that slips are part of recovery full blown relapses are part of addiction. I am sorry if I said that wrong.