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Good news and a question!

Old 05-08-2012, 12:04 PM
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Good news and a question!

I'm here to say that I've been off heroin for exactly a month!The first time I posted here I was trying to go cold turkey but I wasn't successful.But I wasn't going to give up so I decided to try it again.I took my last dose and then did a really crazy thing,at the time I was desperate to get clean and figured out I had to spend all my money cause if I had any money I would buy more heroin for sure.I was spending at least 250$/300$ per day on heroin.So I went shopping and spent all my money,there's nothing left...I know this was a really dumb thing to do but I was so desperate at the time and couldn't think of anything else.I had no other way to get money,I don't have any friends and I told my mom what I was trying to do and that she shouldn't borrow me any money if I asked.I locked myself at home and I had the worst week ever!I was fine the first few hours but then the anxiety came,I started shaking,vomiting,I had diarrhea,my whole body was restless,I had a fever...I thought I was going to go crazy but I was so motivated and stuck with it.One week later I started feeling better and decided to quit Xanax (my other addiction).During the heroin withdrawal I was still taking Xanax.That was the worst thing I could've done,I felt ten times worse than I had felt during the heroin withdrawal.I had this terrible headache (among other things) that lasted for days and that wouldn't let me move or see any lights.I even heard things,it was awful!I decided to go back to Xanax,I used to take 10mg,sometimes way more,I can't remember how much and I was able to reduce it to 4mg per day.Now I'm stuck at 4mg cause I don't know how to taper.I want to do this by myself and I also want to avoid any major withdrawal symptoms.I know it can be done by tapering slowly.I want to know how much time should I wait till I lower the dose again?2 weeks?A month?More?I'm going to reduce it to 3 and a half.
I was so happy and proud of myself because I was able to quit heroin and now I have to do this It looks so much harder and serious now that I'm sober,I don't know if I have strenght to handle another withdrawal.
Of course I still crave heroin but not as I did before.A month ago I used to think I couldn't face life without drugs but I figured out that there was no life with drugs.I had only two choices,to keep doing drugs and die or to live.And I want to live,as cheesy as this may sound,but there are so many things I want to do!Go back to school,get my drivers license,go to college,so many places I want to visit.I just want people who are suffering to know that there is hope.I was totally hopeless a month ago but now I feel I can do this.I still have a long road ahead of me,my pill addiction is far from ending and this gets me down but I'm motivated and I'm not giving up!
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Old 05-08-2012, 12:11 PM
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@Noone Congrats on getting off H!! That's great! Are you getting Xanax through a doctor or on the street? Obviously if it's prescribed they can help you figure out the taper plan, otherwise I'm not sure. I've used Xanax often, but never been on long enough to be addicted and need a taper off. There should be some good threads on here about it though. Good luck with your recovery!
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Old 05-08-2012, 01:06 PM
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Originally Posted by Stopdropburn View Post
@Noone Congrats on getting off H!! That's great! Are you getting Xanax through a doctor or on the street? Obviously if it's prescribed they can help you figure out the taper plan, otherwise I'm not sure. I've used Xanax often, but never been on long enough to be addicted and need a taper off. There should be some good threads on here about it though. Good luck with your recovery!
Thank you very much! I'm really proud of myself!
Sometimes I get the Xanax through a doctor and sometimes I don't.It's really hard to get a prescription where I live and you can only get one every month.I also can't afford a doctor right now,I went to an appointment with a psychiatrist but he prescribed me more drugs for me to get hooked on and I decided I wouldn't take them.
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