atimeofchoice

Day 17 and I'm still clean, but I don't feel particularly .... I don't know. Sober? Good? Malaise is such a bitch, but it is truly better than using. It is a miracle that I haven't had anything in more than 2 weeks and THAT is humbling.

Which brings me to a question that I hope is understood as intended. This is all still so new for me, so I feel a little like a toddler just learning to put two and three words together in a room full of big brained scholars.

Is NA the only way to get and stay clean?

I am so resistant to meetings. It feels almost like deciding to get married to someone you've never met and hoping like hell it'll work out.

So I find myself in a truly ridiculous psychological back-and-forth when most of the evidence points to success. I wonder, though.....can I get the peace, serenity, sobriety, etc...without NA? If so, how?

My husband (gently) calls my questioning a "dopefiend move", meaning I'm using my still-sick head to even attempt a rational argument over what he considers an absolute certainty: NA works. He says NA is like diet and exercise when every other fad diet failed. I admire his faith a lot.

I know the program isn't waiting around for me to come on over so it can prove itself to me. I get that 100%. I just don't know what my options are are it flips me out a little to have such little control.....

miamifella

Of course NA is not "the only way." But chances are any method of recovery that will be effective for you will be something you will resist. Like any person, you resist fundamental change. The things you are comfortable with are those that allow you to continue thinking, behaving, living the same as you do now.

"I know the program isn't waiting around for me to come on over so it can prove itself to me. " Actually, that is exactly what it is doing.

I myself left 12-step programs eventually. But I had to start somewhere. So do you. This is not like "getting married." Going to a meeting is more like a one-night stand that can become a relationship if you want it to. There is no commitment implied by attendance. You can just go to one meeting and never go back.

If you chose not to go...what will you do? Some action is necessary. While I do not consider NA "the" way, it is certainly "a" way. And what you need is "a" way.

Stopdropburn

@atoc I'm so glad you're through 17 days! Let's see...this is now 33 days for me.....I don't feel particularly "normal" either. But it will take a bit...it's not a race, it's a marathon....and it's for life. Anyone can relapse at any time, the sad truth, so it's a stand every day against it. Now, I don't personally believe NA is the ONLY way - but I do believe you could benefit from it. I hear they're quite nice and helpful and you don't have to stay or do/say anything you don't want. I never believed I would quit. I certainly never fathomed going to NA. I don't attend those, but I did start counseling at a local university psych center. It's only support from one more person, but it seems to make a world of diffefence. He actually did a little extra research into addiction and found that the biggest factor in recovery, outside ourselves, is a good support system. As long as you're determined and have the support and encouragement you need you can do it. But it might not hurt to try a meeting....they won't bite you - they're people like you who understand You might learn some new things and even make some clean, supportive friends. Worst case scenario - You don't like it, and you don't go back....simple. But I would try it first, you won't really know otherwise. Good luck!

macknacat

It was so important for me to get out of my own head- to do that , I had to learn new behaviors . To learn new behaviors I had to find ppl who were like me and had the experience and compassion to show me what they had done.. For me, those ppl were in the rooms of NA.

16 clean years later - its still what I do.

sophiamarie2007

Going to NA meetings always made me want to use more. That is just my experience, it wasn't a good fit for me. Everyone has to find their own way.

likehappiness

I believe it's the fit that helps. I got to both AA and N/A meetings because quite frankly its all drug abuse.

I would go and check it out. I was scared crazy the first time I ever went. But you do not HAVE TO SPEAK. Pick a meeting that is all women if you need to be comfortable. You will soon find that everyone there is their from the same purpose because you are alcoholic or addict. Give it time. Got to 3-4 different meetings.. You will find some you don't like and others you do and after awhile you will become a familiar face. You don't have to talk unless you want to.

What it gave me was a better spiritual side of myself. It will not stop your cravings your your addictive thoughts but it gives a fellowship of people trying to get off drugs and alcohol and stay off.

likehappiness

Also...love your screen name and welcome to the forum.

LifeRedux

NA definitely isn't the only way, but seems to be the most widely accepted way. Depending on where you are located, you can find non AA/NA meetings that have the same core beliefs and end goal which is getting and keeping you sober. One thing I've found in AA are the "addict elitists". I've been to an AA meeting in the pat when NA wasn't available and heard them refer to people with narcotic addiction/dependency as "junkies" and other horrible names as if their drug of choice is somehow "better". (Ridiculous)

A drug is a drug, abuse is abuse.... I don't find shades of gray in that statement. An addict can easily overdose and kill him/herself, an addict can easily drink one beer too many and drive into a car full of kids. Many BAD outcomes no matter what drug. (just my opinion)