need help on my journey away from opiate WD
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4
need help on my journey away from opiate WD
Hello All,
25 years old. I've been lurking around here for quite a few months (at times when I wanted to learn about a way out of my addiction to pain killers), it all started when i was living with a roomate who recreationally took them I wanted to know what the deal was so I started asking for some, and with my addictive personality and addictive brain chemistry, my tolerance sky rocketed... Like SUPER fast. I CLEARLY recall taking a 5mg in the morning and a 5mg later in the day (hydrocodone) and being on the most "blissfull" ride of my life. I stopped for awhile after the connection went away and it was the most disgusting feeling and situation that I can recall ever being in, in terms of my self esteem anyway. Calling somebody up like YO HOW MUCH LONGER, I used to be way stronger than that.
Fast forward a couple months, I got to taking 30mg of hydrocodone in one shot and I kept saying to myself "im such a tank!" because I would've probably died 6 months ago attempting that sh*t. Ive had people try to put me on to oxy / morphine / and I tried those but they never delivered the same effect as hydrocodone, so I never stuck taking any more than like one or two of them before I actually traded them or gave them away (crazy right) anything other than hydrocodone makes me feel just straight dope sick, and not euphoric at all, so in terms of my use I never went any higher than hydrocodone.
My current habit is now coming to an end, and im trying to reach out to this community for some advice. I'm attempting the thomas recipe.
So for advice, I was using like 60-90mg a day of hydrocodone as of 1/29 when I ran out. My habit has left me doing whatever I can to keep the WD's away since I have school and work. So on 1/30 I took a couple teaspons of codeine cough syrup (but that was it for the day)... what a ????ty night, woke up the middle of THAT night with sweats... 1/31, took a couple of teaspoons of codeine cough syrup and that was it for the day, again another ????ty night... general low energy lack of ambition and depression. 2/1 ran into someone who spared me (2) 5mg oxycodone, one which I took that night, that was it for the day. 2/2 finished the other (that is it and now im out)...
Looking back at what I just wrote it seems like I'm just doing it the HARD way big time. BUT... For those of you experienced with withdrawls would you say that dramatic cut in usage (taper) will spare me slightly at this point?
I really want off this ????... my goal is to just at least feel like me again by valentines day so I can celebrate it with my girlfriend SOBER.
I dont really have the option to just check myself in which I feel like it would be nice, but I have work, and educational responsibilities that just will fall apart. Can some people lend me their time and advice in this thread while I go through this? I have no place else to go....
Thank you
25 years old. I've been lurking around here for quite a few months (at times when I wanted to learn about a way out of my addiction to pain killers), it all started when i was living with a roomate who recreationally took them I wanted to know what the deal was so I started asking for some, and with my addictive personality and addictive brain chemistry, my tolerance sky rocketed... Like SUPER fast. I CLEARLY recall taking a 5mg in the morning and a 5mg later in the day (hydrocodone) and being on the most "blissfull" ride of my life. I stopped for awhile after the connection went away and it was the most disgusting feeling and situation that I can recall ever being in, in terms of my self esteem anyway. Calling somebody up like YO HOW MUCH LONGER, I used to be way stronger than that.
Fast forward a couple months, I got to taking 30mg of hydrocodone in one shot and I kept saying to myself "im such a tank!" because I would've probably died 6 months ago attempting that sh*t. Ive had people try to put me on to oxy / morphine / and I tried those but they never delivered the same effect as hydrocodone, so I never stuck taking any more than like one or two of them before I actually traded them or gave them away (crazy right) anything other than hydrocodone makes me feel just straight dope sick, and not euphoric at all, so in terms of my use I never went any higher than hydrocodone.
My current habit is now coming to an end, and im trying to reach out to this community for some advice. I'm attempting the thomas recipe.
So for advice, I was using like 60-90mg a day of hydrocodone as of 1/29 when I ran out. My habit has left me doing whatever I can to keep the WD's away since I have school and work. So on 1/30 I took a couple teaspons of codeine cough syrup (but that was it for the day)... what a ????ty night, woke up the middle of THAT night with sweats... 1/31, took a couple of teaspoons of codeine cough syrup and that was it for the day, again another ????ty night... general low energy lack of ambition and depression. 2/1 ran into someone who spared me (2) 5mg oxycodone, one which I took that night, that was it for the day. 2/2 finished the other (that is it and now im out)...
Looking back at what I just wrote it seems like I'm just doing it the HARD way big time. BUT... For those of you experienced with withdrawls would you say that dramatic cut in usage (taper) will spare me slightly at this point?
I really want off this ????... my goal is to just at least feel like me again by valentines day so I can celebrate it with my girlfriend SOBER.
I dont really have the option to just check myself in which I feel like it would be nice, but I have work, and educational responsibilities that just will fall apart. Can some people lend me their time and advice in this thread while I go through this? I have no place else to go....
Thank you
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Greensboro, NC
Posts: 683
In my experience, there is no such thing as a successful taper. When you're using, the pill is in the drivers seat at all times. My experience is to simply quit where ever you are...and quit. Your life is gonna suck for a week... but after that first week you're through the weeds. We can't provide any medical advice here AT ALL but I will say that if things get bad for you... GO see a doctor and be 100% honest with him/her! I will give you a little hint... 8-10 hours of good sleep a night will do wonders for W/D! Only your doctor can help you with that too once you've been 100% honest with them!!!!!!!!!
Oh, time to get on a super healthy diet too. THat does wonders for your digestive track and brain! Lot's of fruit especially bananas for the potassium your muscles need!
Again..... I cannot emphasize enough... Seek professional help for the physical part. We will be here for you!
Oh! One other hint... Posting and reading on this board helps time go by because during W/D - time stands still for some.
Oh, time to get on a super healthy diet too. THat does wonders for your digestive track and brain! Lot's of fruit especially bananas for the potassium your muscles need!
Again..... I cannot emphasize enough... Seek professional help for the physical part. We will be here for you!
Oh! One other hint... Posting and reading on this board helps time go by because during W/D - time stands still for some.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4
Yeah, you're right. I had it in my head "dude... doesnt matter its still in your system and you're only prolonging the inevitable" which just makes me holler out a big darth vader "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
I hope someone gets that reference, lol.
So I hope its okay that I post in my thread often because if tomorrow really begins the nonsense I would very much like to write my thoughts down on here, so at least I can look back on my progress
I hope someone gets that reference, lol.
So I hope its okay that I post in my thread often because if tomorrow really begins the nonsense I would very much like to write my thoughts down on here, so at least I can look back on my progress
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Il
Posts: 86
Medical taper for me was 1 less pill a week but could not get under 6 a day. Norcos worked the same for me. Oxy didnt give me the same feeling even though id take 100 mg a day.
Honestly I felt like a slow hell. I just wanted it over with. Not easy to do b ut the alternative sucked worse.
Honestly I felt like a slow hell. I just wanted it over with. Not easy to do b ut the alternative sucked worse.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4
I guess ive been iron fisting this, cutting down by like 90% and its been that way for days.
And I would just add to your point that this indeed is a SLOW HELL.
Its.. so slow.
The time distortion effect it has on me is ridiculous, I attempted to get back into dance/ rave music making in fruity loops, I knocked out a few new patterns and seemed to dissapear into the music for awhile and I actually started to tear up about how much I used to enjoy dancing in the clubs drug FREE.
I turn around to take a break and im like 20 MINUTES ONLY!?!? oh come on...
And I would just add to your point that this indeed is a SLOW HELL.
Its.. so slow.
The time distortion effect it has on me is ridiculous, I attempted to get back into dance/ rave music making in fruity loops, I knocked out a few new patterns and seemed to dissapear into the music for awhile and I actually started to tear up about how much I used to enjoy dancing in the clubs drug FREE.
I turn around to take a break and im like 20 MINUTES ONLY!?!? oh come on...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Orlando, Fl
Posts: 300
Yes, during W/D it's like time standing still. Really agonizing, I couldn't wait till night time, not that I slept. It will get easier, just got to put in the time. Just remember you don't want to have to do this again, and you will if you don't do it now.
Keep posting and reading on here as much as you need, lots of great help here from people who have been there.
Keep posting and reading on here as much as you need, lots of great help here from people who have been there.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Georgia
Posts: 242
Welcome to SR, Bluecoat!
From what I read here and elsewhere, all of seem to react differently due to our brain and body chemistries when it comes to w/d's and tapering. When I was on the pill opiate roller coaster, often I would quit cold turkey b/c I ran out of pills or tapered if I was in a better place. Tapering usually helped me with the w/d symptoms. When I finally made up my mind to quit once and for all and enter true recovery (Dec. 2010) I had a supply of about 120 pills and I did taper over about 3 weeks. I obtained my pills on-line and it took weeks to receive them, so I knew I was committed at this point to ending this ride and no orders were placed. Luckily, my source went away not long after that, so this was it for me. I think you can taper if you really know you cannot get more pills, but again, that is me and we are not all wired the same.
There are many of us here that have tried and failed and tried and succeeded. We know your struggles and challenges and are here for you.
Keep posting. SR is a wonderful resource
From what I read here and elsewhere, all of seem to react differently due to our brain and body chemistries when it comes to w/d's and tapering. When I was on the pill opiate roller coaster, often I would quit cold turkey b/c I ran out of pills or tapered if I was in a better place. Tapering usually helped me with the w/d symptoms. When I finally made up my mind to quit once and for all and enter true recovery (Dec. 2010) I had a supply of about 120 pills and I did taper over about 3 weeks. I obtained my pills on-line and it took weeks to receive them, so I knew I was committed at this point to ending this ride and no orders were placed. Luckily, my source went away not long after that, so this was it for me. I think you can taper if you really know you cannot get more pills, but again, that is me and we are not all wired the same.
There are many of us here that have tried and failed and tried and succeeded. We know your struggles and challenges and are here for you.
Keep posting. SR is a wonderful resource
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4
Originally Posted by TheReader 
Welcome to SR, Bluecoat!
From what I read here and elsewhere, all of seem to react differently due to our brain and body chemistries when it comes to w/d's and tapering. When I was on the pill opiate roller coaster, often I would quit cold turkey b/c I ran out of pills or tapered if I was in a better place. Tapering usually helped me with the w/d symptoms. When I finally made up my mind to quit once and for all and enter true recovery (Dec. 2010) I had a supply of about 120 pills and I did taper over about 3 weeks. I obtained my pills on-line and it took weeks to receive them, so I knew I was committed at this point to ending this ride and no orders were placed. Luckily, my source went away not long after that, so this was it for me. I think you can taper if you really know you cannot get more pills, but again, that is me and we are not all wired the same.
There are many of us here that have tried and failed and tried and succeeded. We know your struggles and challenges and are here for you.
Keep posting. SR is a wonderful resource
From what I read here and elsewhere, all of seem to react differently due to our brain and body chemistries when it comes to w/d's and tapering. When I was on the pill opiate roller coaster, often I would quit cold turkey b/c I ran out of pills or tapered if I was in a better place. Tapering usually helped me with the w/d symptoms. When I finally made up my mind to quit once and for all and enter true recovery (Dec. 2010) I had a supply of about 120 pills and I did taper over about 3 weeks. I obtained my pills on-line and it took weeks to receive them, so I knew I was committed at this point to ending this ride and no orders were placed. Luckily, my source went away not long after that, so this was it for me. I think you can taper if you really know you cannot get more pills, but again, that is me and we are not all wired the same.
There are many of us here that have tried and failed and tried and succeeded. We know your struggles and challenges and are here for you.
Keep posting. SR is a wonderful resource
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 432
Bluecoat---The tapering business can be done but you have to really want to quit. I have done cold turkey twice now and the withdrawals are bad either way.
The 2nd time I tapered a little bit better but no matter what you will still have withdrawal symptoms. I am 24 days sober and my GI tract is still messed up but it will get better. I also did the Thomas receipe the 2nd time and it does help. I did it WITHOUT the valium or any benzos. Didn't want to take a pill for another pill. Everyone has their way. Just make sure you have lots of fluids in the house and someone to help you out if possible. Stay strong....MANY of us have done this and so can you.
The 2nd time I tapered a little bit better but no matter what you will still have withdrawal symptoms. I am 24 days sober and my GI tract is still messed up but it will get better. I also did the Thomas receipe the 2nd time and it does help. I did it WITHOUT the valium or any benzos. Didn't want to take a pill for another pill. Everyone has their way. Just make sure you have lots of fluids in the house and someone to help you out if possible. Stay strong....MANY of us have done this and so can you.
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 609
just a thought here - I don't think there's anyway to get around the unavoidable hell of withdrawal/detox, tapering or not. Yes, it's easier for some to wind down the intake a few days being "jumping".
Sleep is very important too...on a good day, people make bad choices from lack of sleep. Add in detoxing, no sleep, anxiety, physical symptoms and it's sometimes more than a body can handle without help. However - anyone reading this please understand that your doctor can prescribe you something for sleep without you outing yourself and getting a potential 'red flag' that can follow you for years, if not forever. Be smart in your recovery. If you want more info on that - just do a internet search on substance/alcohol abuse and insurance.
my best to you - keep posting and reading. It helped me a lot during the initial 2 weeks to read here. Dunno what I'd of done without a couple friends I could write 24/7 who'd been through it before or were in the same position. :-)
Sleep is very important too...on a good day, people make bad choices from lack of sleep. Add in detoxing, no sleep, anxiety, physical symptoms and it's sometimes more than a body can handle without help. However - anyone reading this please understand that your doctor can prescribe you something for sleep without you outing yourself and getting a potential 'red flag' that can follow you for years, if not forever. Be smart in your recovery. If you want more info on that - just do a internet search on substance/alcohol abuse and insurance.
my best to you - keep posting and reading. It helped me a lot during the initial 2 weeks to read here. Dunno what I'd of done without a couple friends I could write 24/7 who'd been through it before or were in the same position. :-)
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Greensboro, NC
Posts: 683
AngelWW is 100% correct about the sleep aspect. If you can get a SOLID 8-10 hours of sleep - it will work MIRACLES for your W/D symptoms.
How do you get that kind of sleep during W/D? See you Doctor!
How do I know? By day 4 of my W/D I had POOR sleep and HIGH anxiety! I saw my doctor & he gave me something to knock me out sleep. I slept 10 hours a day for a week. Holy Canoly... Day 5 I went from being an anxious train wreck to a calm person... I slept 10 hours that night... Solid 10 hours of sleep. I was a different person after that. I Looked forward to sleep instead of anxious and dreading bedtime.
How do you get that kind of sleep during W/D? See you Doctor!
How do I know? By day 4 of my W/D I had POOR sleep and HIGH anxiety! I saw my doctor & he gave me something to knock me out sleep. I slept 10 hours a day for a week. Holy Canoly... Day 5 I went from being an anxious train wreck to a calm person... I slept 10 hours that night... Solid 10 hours of sleep. I was a different person after that. I Looked forward to sleep instead of anxious and dreading bedtime.
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