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Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((CW))) - so good to see you still posting, and I'm really thrilled that ((FT)) and ((Jay)) (speedyJason) have jumped in...((Jay)) was who I was the main one I was thinking about when I mentioned other young people here.
I like ((FT's)) idea of making a list of options and choosing one..that way you're "agreeing" with them, and it may lesson the stress/drama. I know that I've done things in recovery that I totally didn't want to do, were WELL out of my comfort zone, but I talked to people here, about it, and gave it a try.
It's HARD to step out of our comfort zone, try something new, but darned if I didn't make progress when I finally gave in and went for it.
I'm sure ((Jay)) won't mind me saying this, but it took him quite a while to open up to those of us, here. It's hard to learn to trust people when the very people you should trust the most haven't been there for you like they should.
You're doing great at what you're doing for recovery. So they think you need something else...my opinion is humor them, and find something you all agree on. My recovery program is a mish-mash of things I've picked up along the way...a little AA, a lot of codependency stuff, and a lot of things I've tried that people here did. Some things didn't work, but I wanted recovery more than anything, so I tried something else.
As far as your mom and step-dad? That's their issue to work out, sweetie. Yes, your using, lying, stealing added stress, but the underlying issue is that they were on different pages. That is something THEY have to work out or not. As both a recovering addict AND a recovering codependent, I don't do well with people who enable addicts, but I've learned to step back. Your stepdad is in recovery, your mom has enabled you. YOU can't fix that, because it's up to them on whether they want to work together, or against each other.
My stepmom has had guardianship of my niece (now almost 18) since her mom died in a car wreck (niece was 1) and her dad is an addict, in/out of prison. Though my dad tried to set boundaries, rules, etc. my stepmom let niece do whatever she wanted. It's caused a LOT of problems in our family, but in no way, do I blame my niece, and I think you should let go of the blame-game, yourself.
You are near a month clean...that is absolutely FANTASTIC, and you're doing what you can for your recovery. The people on SR, 99% of whom I've never met, have gotten me through a lot, and we are here for you.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
I like ((FT's)) idea of making a list of options and choosing one..that way you're "agreeing" with them, and it may lesson the stress/drama. I know that I've done things in recovery that I totally didn't want to do, were WELL out of my comfort zone, but I talked to people here, about it, and gave it a try.
It's HARD to step out of our comfort zone, try something new, but darned if I didn't make progress when I finally gave in and went for it.
I'm sure ((Jay)) won't mind me saying this, but it took him quite a while to open up to those of us, here. It's hard to learn to trust people when the very people you should trust the most haven't been there for you like they should.
You're doing great at what you're doing for recovery. So they think you need something else...my opinion is humor them, and find something you all agree on. My recovery program is a mish-mash of things I've picked up along the way...a little AA, a lot of codependency stuff, and a lot of things I've tried that people here did. Some things didn't work, but I wanted recovery more than anything, so I tried something else.
As far as your mom and step-dad? That's their issue to work out, sweetie. Yes, your using, lying, stealing added stress, but the underlying issue is that they were on different pages. That is something THEY have to work out or not. As both a recovering addict AND a recovering codependent, I don't do well with people who enable addicts, but I've learned to step back. Your stepdad is in recovery, your mom has enabled you. YOU can't fix that, because it's up to them on whether they want to work together, or against each other.
My stepmom has had guardianship of my niece (now almost 18) since her mom died in a car wreck (niece was 1) and her dad is an addict, in/out of prison. Though my dad tried to set boundaries, rules, etc. my stepmom let niece do whatever she wanted. It's caused a LOT of problems in our family, but in no way, do I blame my niece, and I think you should let go of the blame-game, yourself.
You are near a month clean...that is absolutely FANTASTIC, and you're doing what you can for your recovery. The people on SR, 99% of whom I've never met, have gotten me through a lot, and we are here for you.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
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