please help. i need courage :*(
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 1
please help. i need courage :*(
I really need some hope...some courage. I feel like i am closterphobic with the idea i am going to be like this forever. I can't quit oxy. Please..somone tel me they quit and are doing ok. Tell me they are living life. I know all addictions are serious, but please tell me you quit and made it through and were taking a lot of oxy. I have been taking about 10 30mg roxicodones a day on and off. I've been in an extremely half assed recovery for a while. I take subutex then I end up using for 2-4 days and starting it all over. I just feel like i've relapsed so man ytimes i feel like that is all that is around me. You see the same kids goin back to pills, becuase noone can quit! I still smoke weed and feel like..well scared to have nothing. like ill melt. now i started messing with h for the past few days...its just horrible. I don't want to need somethig nanymore. I dont want to be completely broken mentallyy phsyically and financially
Someone please tell me you quit and you were taking 300mg a day or more..tell me its possible PLEASE.
And to make matters worse, my doc just supplies basically unlimited subutex. I missed my last appointment this monday...because i spent th emoney on using. But i am thinking its a goo dthing. I have 29 8mg subutex. I want to do a 1-1.5mo detox and be done with it. I feel like if i have subutex ill keep going back and forth forever.
Everytime I try I fail. i have no will power
I know about NA. and the sad thing is I know it works. I dont kno why I cant get my self to start goin gagain.
Someone please tell me you quit and you were taking 300mg a day or more..tell me its possible PLEASE.
And to make matters worse, my doc just supplies basically unlimited subutex. I missed my last appointment this monday...because i spent th emoney on using. But i am thinking its a goo dthing. I have 29 8mg subutex. I want to do a 1-1.5mo detox and be done with it. I feel like if i have subutex ill keep going back and forth forever.
Everytime I try I fail. i have no will power
I know about NA. and the sad thing is I know it works. I dont kno why I cant get my self to start goin gagain.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Middle of MO
Posts: 666
Have you tried any form of treatment besides subutex?
No matter how much you have done or are doing, there are those who have done far more and recovered. You have obviously taken a stab at stopping since you have a script. Medication alone won't cut it...the real work of recovery is in working the steps.
You, my friend, are in what an old friend called "the squirrel cage", a place most of us are familiar with. I suspect you know what to do: come clean with your doc and those who are helping you (therapist, sponsor, etc.) and do what they tell you. You must be willing to do whatever it takes, which could be inpatient rehab. After all, your life is at stake!
No matter how much you have done or are doing, there are those who have done far more and recovered. You have obviously taken a stab at stopping since you have a script. Medication alone won't cut it...the real work of recovery is in working the steps.
You, my friend, are in what an old friend called "the squirrel cage", a place most of us are familiar with. I suspect you know what to do: come clean with your doc and those who are helping you (therapist, sponsor, etc.) and do what they tell you. You must be willing to do whatever it takes, which could be inpatient rehab. After all, your life is at stake!
We Do Recover
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,619
Originally Posted by stuckinaloop 
I know about NA. and the sad thing is I know it works. I dont kno why I cant get my self to start goin gagain.
Peaceful
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Cali
Posts: 310
Originally Posted by tsmba
Have you tried any form of treatment besides subutex?
No matter how much you have done or are doing, there are those who have done far more and recovered. You have obviously taken a stab at stopping since you have a script. Medication alone won't cut it...the real work of recovery is in working the steps.
You, my friend, are in what an old friend called "the squirrel cage", a place most of us are familiar with. I suspect you know what to do: come clean with your doc and those who are helping you (therapist, sponsor, etc.) and do what they tell you. You must be willing to do whatever it takes, which could be inpatient rehab. After all, your life is at stake!
No matter how much you have done or are doing, there are those who have done far more and recovered. You have obviously taken a stab at stopping since you have a script. Medication alone won't cut it...the real work of recovery is in working the steps.
You, my friend, are in what an old friend called "the squirrel cage", a place most of us are familiar with. I suspect you know what to do: come clean with your doc and those who are helping you (therapist, sponsor, etc.) and do what they tell you. You must be willing to do whatever it takes, which could be inpatient rehab. After all, your life is at stake!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Georgia
Posts: 6
I agree with the other replies! Go to your doctor and tell him/her!! Be completely transparant! I was taking more than that...way more than that when I got on suboxone! Had I known I could've got high off other stuff while on suboxone I prob. would have too, but I was under the impression it knocked other drugs off your brain receptors! You can do this! It was way easier to talk myself into taking/using stuff than why I should quit!
All the experience I have is with people who used suboxone/subutex long term so they wouldn't go back to other stuff. I know NO ONE who has done it in one and a half months. I really think you need to cut yourself some slack. I had to get mentally independant from my drugs and mentally dependant on suboxone only. Then 10 months later I still couldn't imagine me without anything...except I got pregnant, so I weaned off the subutex. After this pregnancy I don't know what I'll do! I'm def. an addict! I def. think I gotta have SOMETHING to cope with my everyday mundane life! Good Luck!
All the experience I have is with people who used suboxone/subutex long term so they wouldn't go back to other stuff. I know NO ONE who has done it in one and a half months. I really think you need to cut yourself some slack. I had to get mentally independant from my drugs and mentally dependant on suboxone only. Then 10 months later I still couldn't imagine me without anything...except I got pregnant, so I weaned off the subutex. After this pregnancy I don't know what I'll do! I'm def. an addict! I def. think I gotta have SOMETHING to cope with my everyday mundane life! Good Luck!
Work in Progress
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 1,142
Maybe an inpatient rehab would be a good choice for you if you have insurance or can afford it. Maybe then you would be able to get off it for more than a few days and have time to clear your head up. Are you surrounded by other people who use to? Being away from them will help you a lot as well. You definatly CAN DO IT! Don't use thinking you can't as an excuse not to.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Middle of MO
Posts: 666
I have certainly been in the exact same place as the OP. I can tell you that my head was filled with thoughts of what I did and did not need, "reasons" why I couldn't even consider treatment, etc. I had to get real down and dirty, to the point where I had exhausted every conceivable option, before I became willing to do anything to get relief from my life.
It sounds awful, but I consider myself to have been extremely lucky. A lot of folks die, get thrown in jail, or go crazy without ever reaching that point. There are options, no matter what your insurance, financial, or family situation is. Reach out to a professional, discuss your options, and do what is suggested.
It sounds awful, but I consider myself to have been extremely lucky. A lot of folks die, get thrown in jail, or go crazy without ever reaching that point. There are options, no matter what your insurance, financial, or family situation is. Reach out to a professional, discuss your options, and do what is suggested.
Om, Aum, Ohm...
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Punxsutawney/Pittsburgh
Posts: 4,797
I was on well over 300mg a day. My prescribed dose was that much, before I even began "abusing." I was also prescribed benzos and muscle relaxers. I supplemented it all with street drugs and booze.
I am clean, have been clean for awhile. The only prescription drugs I take are Prilosec for a stomach that wants to produce too much acid and Boniva for my brittle bones.
I didn't do it alone and I didn't collect my wonderful life three days out of rehab. I informed all my doctors (including my dentist) that I'm an addict and that I will not be asking for or accepting narcotics or other drugs with the potential for abuse or physical dependence. I spent seven days in detox, twenty-eight additional days in rehab, and I went to a meeting on my very first day out--and every day thereafter for a very long time. I got a sponsor. I worked the steps. I expanded my spiritual life. I stopped spending time with people who used. I called people in recovery when my head got too loud. As soon as I had something to share with others, I shared it, and continued sharing it to...well, right now as I'm sharing it with you.
Yes, I have a life. A very good one, as a matter of fact. And it doesn't include drugs. All that I needed to get started was willingness.
Peace & Love,
Sugah
I am clean, have been clean for awhile. The only prescription drugs I take are Prilosec for a stomach that wants to produce too much acid and Boniva for my brittle bones.
I didn't do it alone and I didn't collect my wonderful life three days out of rehab. I informed all my doctors (including my dentist) that I'm an addict and that I will not be asking for or accepting narcotics or other drugs with the potential for abuse or physical dependence. I spent seven days in detox, twenty-eight additional days in rehab, and I went to a meeting on my very first day out--and every day thereafter for a very long time. I got a sponsor. I worked the steps. I expanded my spiritual life. I stopped spending time with people who used. I called people in recovery when my head got too loud. As soon as I had something to share with others, I shared it, and continued sharing it to...well, right now as I'm sharing it with you.
Yes, I have a life. A very good one, as a matter of fact. And it doesn't include drugs. All that I needed to get started was willingness.
Peace & Love,
Sugah
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: NY,NY
Posts: 48
Have you considered...
Yes ,
It's possible to get clean and live free again.
Have you ever considered an In-patient Detox? Sometimes, when one is out of control, it can be the best bet. The path of saying, "Yeah, I have a bad opiate problem and I need to surrender and get detoxed"
At least this way, the pills are out of your hands and it'll be up to trained professionals to take you off of your drugs.
If you are in that much pain, it's worth a shot.
Good luck
It's possible to get clean and live free again.
Have you ever considered an In-patient Detox? Sometimes, when one is out of control, it can be the best bet. The path of saying, "Yeah, I have a bad opiate problem and I need to surrender and get detoxed"
At least this way, the pills are out of your hands and it'll be up to trained professionals to take you off of your drugs.
If you are in that much pain, it's worth a shot.
Good luck
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dayton, OH.
Posts: 879
Originally Posted by stuckinaloop
I really need some hope...some courage. now i started messing with h for the past few days...its just horrible. I don't want to need somethig nanymore. I dont want to be completely broken mentallyy phsyically and financially
Someone please tell me you quit and you were taking 300mg a day or more..tell me its possible PLEASE.
.
Someone please tell me you quit and you were taking 300mg a day or more..tell me its possible PLEASE.
.
There is HOPE! Go to meetings! Keep coming back here. Everyone of us got here differently, and we may have done different amounts of drugs and different drugs altogether, but we're here for each other, no matter what.
Just up and go. Whether you want to or not. Whether you're high or not. I've gone to meetings high! I went and got high after meetings. It takes time, and it seems hopeless, at first, but there is hope and the message will eventually sink in! Just keep going!
My DOC is crack cocaine. Different from yours, I was blessed with very little physical withdrawals, but a HUGE mental mind f***! Don't let the differences in DOCs convince you that it's not possible to get and stay clean. GO TO A MEETING ASAP! Go to 1 or 2 a day. Keep coming back to SR. There are people who share and care, some with the same DOC, some with different ones. But we all care. We want you to get clean. :ghug3
We're here for you!
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