beating drug addiction
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 14
beating drug addiction
I just want to say a big thank you to all the posts everyone made, just reading them whilst craving hardcore completely takes my mind off it it more than anything.
I abused MDMA (ecstasy) for 2 years preety much every weekend (and weekdays) with multiple doses and most of the time I feel like i FRIED my brain hardcore but I am hopeful with abstained use my brain will heal. The brain is a very powerful thing
SR helped me get through one more day which is one more day closer to "normal" life i hope to (WILL) achieve. This is the longest i have gone without relapsing (3 weeks) You might not think its much but its a huge step for me and it feels great at the end of every night i can think to myself wow i kicked addictions arse for another day.
Cravings really can be a strong thing to beat but really if you give in your only effing your life up more, wasting more money, ruining frienships/relationships and mental/physical wellbeing just like i have done so please I urge all of us addicts to stay strong and to just say NO!
Find any possible way to take your mind off it. Its really the only thing that works in my experiences.
THERE IS LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL.
I abused MDMA (ecstasy) for 2 years preety much every weekend (and weekdays) with multiple doses and most of the time I feel like i FRIED my brain hardcore but I am hopeful with abstained use my brain will heal. The brain is a very powerful thing
SR helped me get through one more day which is one more day closer to "normal" life i hope to (WILL) achieve. This is the longest i have gone without relapsing (3 weeks) You might not think its much but its a huge step for me and it feels great at the end of every night i can think to myself wow i kicked addictions arse for another day.
Cravings really can be a strong thing to beat but really if you give in your only effing your life up more, wasting more money, ruining frienships/relationships and mental/physical wellbeing just like i have done so please I urge all of us addicts to stay strong and to just say NO!
Find any possible way to take your mind off it. Its really the only thing that works in my experiences.
THERE IS LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL.
Welcome! Glad you are here. 
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 14,156
to SoberRecovery bluehip88...keep going strong!.I remember saying NO to my addiction and it helped somewhat. But there came a time when I ran out of things to say. I had to NOT pick up that first drug before what I sad had any meaning.
Your Distant Friend
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: pittsburgh, pa
Posts: 255
Contrats. 
Hang on to that idea about the brain being powerful enough to heal.
You have overloaded it with too much tranfsormation, its circuitry needs
A stable voltage (sobriety) to link itself back together. Mdma is very transformative,
But overdoing it is like floodiing your car engine. Let it drain and clear out (meditate)
Get some new spark plugs (sober, healthy friends with futures) and fix your mix.
You were trainwrecking the records. Soon enough you'll learn a way of spinning
In natural consciousness that's clarity is much more remarkable and retainable than any of your xtc revelations. Cosmic insights may begin to come naturally, and the best part about
Sobriety I have found is the ability to actually remember stuff!!! Stay positive as you seem.
What's worked for me from methamphetamine abuse (mdma is a methamphetamine) is yoga,
Be a happy mutant, not a trainwreck!!! They don't make rolls like they used to anyway.. we can put it behind us, knowing that the future will bring brighter days than ever before.
Keep it up!
Hang on to that idea about the brain being powerful enough to heal.
You have overloaded it with too much tranfsormation, its circuitry needs
A stable voltage (sobriety) to link itself back together. Mdma is very transformative,
But overdoing it is like floodiing your car engine. Let it drain and clear out (meditate)
Get some new spark plugs (sober, healthy friends with futures) and fix your mix.
You were trainwrecking the records. Soon enough you'll learn a way of spinning
In natural consciousness that's clarity is much more remarkable and retainable than any of your xtc revelations. Cosmic insights may begin to come naturally, and the best part about
Sobriety I have found is the ability to actually remember stuff!!! Stay positive as you seem.
What's worked for me from methamphetamine abuse (mdma is a methamphetamine) is yoga,
Be a happy mutant, not a trainwreck!!! They don't make rolls like they used to anyway.. we can put it behind us, knowing that the future will bring brighter days than ever before.
Keep it up!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 14
Hey guys thanks for all the prompt reply's (one day). I really do appreciate it and it is helping me alot. Emmanuel that was such a great reply with great advice and very informative.
I never thought MDMA could be so damaging/addictive when i first started using and the way this drug is spreading, well were gonna have one effed up generation and it is kind of frightening really.
Unfortunately young people dont listen (as i didn't) and i think if people seeking information about a drug see posts made from real people messed up from drugs as opposed to reading general effects and whatnot from a normal website they may be more likely to just say no i think all we can do is spread the word about this website.
What are your thoughts?
I never thought MDMA could be so damaging/addictive when i first started using and the way this drug is spreading, well were gonna have one effed up generation and it is kind of frightening really.
Unfortunately young people dont listen (as i didn't) and i think if people seeking information about a drug see posts made from real people messed up from drugs as opposed to reading general effects and whatnot from a normal website they may be more likely to just say no i think all we can do is spread the word about this website.
What are your thoughts?
OMG everything's real
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: England
Posts: 4,020
Really, e was my DOC. Everything I did afterwards I did to get myself off of e. I loved it, and I relate to the cravings. Had me sobbing sometimes.
My own fault, because I still listened to the same music - silly! It's been about 4 years I guess, maybe more, it's been a bit of a haze coz I drank and took opiates to ease the cravings. Now I go running to that same music and I don't crave anymore, just find I can run forever!
I used to get enough over the weekend in clubs to take inbetween, and even on the most sociable drug in the world, I still managed to isolate myself. And brain damage - my memory is no longer!
My own fault, because I still listened to the same music - silly! It's been about 4 years I guess, maybe more, it's been a bit of a haze coz I drank and took opiates to ease the cravings. Now I go running to that same music and I don't crave anymore, just find I can run forever!
I used to get enough over the weekend in clubs to take inbetween, and even on the most sociable drug in the world, I still managed to isolate myself. And brain damage - my memory is no longer!
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 862
I thought I'd add my experience in too while I'm busy posting useless things, I only tried ecstasy once and I was surprised by how different it was from amphetamine. To be perfectly honest I felt wayyyy more "fried" after speed than after ecstasy.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dayton, OH.
Posts: 879
Hello! Welcome to SR and I am glad it came through for you during your cravings! And congrats on 3 weeks! Keep coming back!
I've personally, never done X. However, I do know that it can be coke, heroin, or meth based. Do you know whether yours were opiate (heroin) based or not? If it was, and you've done it for as long as you have, would you take a suggestion and see a doctor? Opiates do some really nasty stuff to the brain, decreasing serotonin levels, and dependency on anything opiate based can also cause some pretty unpleasant withdrawals. I just wonder if seeing a doctor, if your X was opiate based, about any bad side effects for your brain..
I know it's hard to tell ANYONE you did illegal drugs, but since you are getting clean, might as well go all the way.
I don't know anything about the differences between what the X is based off of, other than what opiates do. Crack was my DOC. I had to see a doctor when I OD'd.
I am glad you are here. *HUGS* I really am. I wish you the absolute best and keep coming back. SR is just a wonderful place to be online! Especially with the cravings.
I've personally, never done X. However, I do know that it can be coke, heroin, or meth based. Do you know whether yours were opiate (heroin) based or not? If it was, and you've done it for as long as you have, would you take a suggestion and see a doctor? Opiates do some really nasty stuff to the brain, decreasing serotonin levels, and dependency on anything opiate based can also cause some pretty unpleasant withdrawals. I just wonder if seeing a doctor, if your X was opiate based, about any bad side effects for your brain..
I know it's hard to tell ANYONE you did illegal drugs, but since you are getting clean, might as well go all the way.
I don't know anything about the differences between what the X is based off of, other than what opiates do. Crack was my DOC. I had to see a doctor when I OD'd.
I am glad you are here. *HUGS* I really am. I wish you the absolute best and keep coming back. SR is just a wonderful place to be online! Especially with the cravings.
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 14
Hey guys!
Crackquack: im preety sure all the rumours about coke/heroin based pills are lies.
Still going strong, have not relapsed, and once again thanks to everyone for all the love and support, this is really a great forum with really great people!
Also to lostbutterfly i agree that listening to rave music (or any music u listened to while high) is a strong trigger for the cravings (even drinking alcohol sets them off for me) Congrats on the 4 years though thats so good to hear and i hope thing only get better for you! I can also relate to the memory problems but im sure my brain will heal it just needs time to recover!!!
i love u all
Crackquack: im preety sure all the rumours about coke/heroin based pills are lies.
Still going strong, have not relapsed, and once again thanks to everyone for all the love and support, this is really a great forum with really great people!
Also to lostbutterfly i agree that listening to rave music (or any music u listened to while high) is a strong trigger for the cravings (even drinking alcohol sets them off for me) Congrats on the 4 years though thats so good to hear and i hope thing only get better for you! I can also relate to the memory problems but im sure my brain will heal it just needs time to recover!!!
i love u all
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 862
This thing about pills having coke or heroin mixed in is a bit of a myth - a dealer would have to charge 3x the normal price for pills like that. They'd be far too dangerous for a drug naive person to ingest - and drug dealers have no vested interest in killing their clientele. The danger of "speedballs" (coke or amphetamine + opiate) is well known and has killed many people, well publicized cases being Layne Staley and Chris Farley, if I'm not mistaken; and the danger of mixing coke and amphetamine should be fairly obvious.
Ecstasy (MDMA) is Methylenedioxymethamphetamine and the pills we've come across usually only contain this and binders, with different levels depending on the source, ranging from the very low, to the very high - which is why we always advise EVERYONE to only try half a pill when obtaining a new "brand" or buying from a new source.
Sometimes (though rarely) amphetamine or methamphetamine is sold as ecstasy, whether on purpose or by mistake.
Ecstasy (MDMA) is Methylenedioxymethamphetamine and the pills we've come across usually only contain this and binders, with different levels depending on the source, ranging from the very low, to the very high - which is why we always advise EVERYONE to only try half a pill when obtaining a new "brand" or buying from a new source.
Sometimes (though rarely) amphetamine or methamphetamine is sold as ecstasy, whether on purpose or by mistake.
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quoted from erowid.org
But there is adulterated ecstasy. Tablets which are sold as "ecstasy" to people who are expecting MDMA, but which don't actually contain MDMA. Amphetamine or methamphetamine is a farily common substance which is pressed into tablets and passed off as MDMA/ecstasy. We have been doing laboratory anaylsis of street ecstasy tablets in the United States for several years now and in 500 tested tablets have only come across 4 which contained any cocaine. Cocaine is an extremely rare adulterant in ecstasy. As for "acid" or LSD, there is also no reason to believe that lsd is a common adulterant in ecstasy tablets.
Rumors about heroin in ecstasy are mostly unfounded and untrue. As ecstasy users seek to explain the differences in experiential qualities of the often adulterated, misbranded ecstasy pills they take, heroin (as a dangerous bugbear lurking in the shadows) is often included in the list of substances that might be in ecstasy pills. Although heroin has been detected in a couple of ecstasy pills since the late 1990s, and fentanyl was detected in two pills in 2005, there is no reason to believe that heroin or related opiates are present in enough ecstasy pills to warrant the concerns expressed by some inexperienced ecstasy users.
But there is adulterated ecstasy. Tablets which are sold as "ecstasy" to people who are expecting MDMA, but which don't actually contain MDMA. Amphetamine or methamphetamine is a farily common substance which is pressed into tablets and passed off as MDMA/ecstasy. We have been doing laboratory anaylsis of street ecstasy tablets in the United States for several years now and in 500 tested tablets have only come across 4 which contained any cocaine. Cocaine is an extremely rare adulterant in ecstasy. As for "acid" or LSD, there is also no reason to believe that lsd is a common adulterant in ecstasy tablets.
Rumors about heroin in ecstasy are mostly unfounded and untrue. As ecstasy users seek to explain the differences in experiential qualities of the often adulterated, misbranded ecstasy pills they take, heroin (as a dangerous bugbear lurking in the shadows) is often included in the list of substances that might be in ecstasy pills. Although heroin has been detected in a couple of ecstasy pills since the late 1990s, and fentanyl was detected in two pills in 2005, there is no reason to believe that heroin or related opiates are present in enough ecstasy pills to warrant the concerns expressed by some inexperienced ecstasy users.
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fentanyl is approximately 100 times more potent than morphine,[5] with 100 micrograms of fentanyl approximately equivalent to 10 mg of morphine and 75 mg of pethidine (meperidine) in analgesic activity.[5] It has an LD50 of 3.1 milligrams per kilogram in rats, 0.03 milligrams per kilogram in monkeys, and an undetermined LD50 in humans.
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