I'm a wreck...
it's a movie, you're the star
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 355
North,
I'm sorry I didn't see this thread sooner! The noon meetings I often attend during the week are equally intense, as they seem to attract a certain crowd of blue collar hard workers, as well as the homeless and struggling. It keeps it real for me. At the Friday nooner I attended, there was a man who (due to his alcoholism) cannot eat whole foods and recently got off of a feeding tube. He was STILL grateful to be alive and to be sober. I did start welling up with tears, but only because I realized how ungrateful I have been and how everyone has to much to appreciate.
My weekend was spent going to AA meetings, hanging around awkwardly with local AA people (as often is the case, fellowshipping means being with people you would normally not hang out with, and I always find myself feeling greatly uncomfortable). I am still very grateful to have the program in my life - as it is a true saving grace.
I sincerely hope you made it through this weekend safely and are still grateful to have what you have. Please stay in touch, as we are all bound by our inner struggles and I always enjoy having new friends.
Rachel
I'm sorry I didn't see this thread sooner! The noon meetings I often attend during the week are equally intense, as they seem to attract a certain crowd of blue collar hard workers, as well as the homeless and struggling. It keeps it real for me. At the Friday nooner I attended, there was a man who (due to his alcoholism) cannot eat whole foods and recently got off of a feeding tube. He was STILL grateful to be alive and to be sober. I did start welling up with tears, but only because I realized how ungrateful I have been and how everyone has to much to appreciate.
My weekend was spent going to AA meetings, hanging around awkwardly with local AA people (as often is the case, fellowshipping means being with people you would normally not hang out with, and I always find myself feeling greatly uncomfortable). I am still very grateful to have the program in my life - as it is a true saving grace.
I sincerely hope you made it through this weekend safely and are still grateful to have what you have. Please stay in touch, as we are all bound by our inner struggles and I always enjoy having new friends.
Rachel
Dopeless Hope Fiend
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: anchorage Alaska
Posts: 2,741
Rachel...I was just reading this in the book...I really like this part from the aa book , working with others.....
"Life will take on a new meaning. To watch people recover , to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends-this is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it. Frequesnt contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives."
so glad to know you rach!
love nroth
"Life will take on a new meaning. To watch people recover , to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends-this is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it. Frequesnt contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives."
so glad to know you rach!
love nroth
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Midland, NC
Posts: 1,266
north,
Thank you so much. I'm sorry about your loss.
Today has been really hard....It's the first Easter without my mom. My husband is out of town, so my dad came over and we had lunch together. We were watching CMT (country music television) and they showed a new video of Alan Jackson's called "Sissy's song".
Now, I don't know if you like country music or even know who Alan Jackson is, but I recommend this song/video for anyone who has lost a wife, mother or daughter. You don't even have to like country music to appreciate this song.
My dad and I watched and cried. My mom was a huge Alan Jackson fan.
This song touched me beyond words.
My faith tells me that I will see my mom again and this song touches on that.
Again, thanks for your kind words and Happy Easter
Penny
If you want to see the video "sissy's song" by Alan Jackson...google cmt.com go to videos and look under the J for Alan Jackson...but be prepared to cry a 'good cry!
Thank you so much. I'm sorry about your loss.
Today has been really hard....It's the first Easter without my mom. My husband is out of town, so my dad came over and we had lunch together. We were watching CMT (country music television) and they showed a new video of Alan Jackson's called "Sissy's song".
Now, I don't know if you like country music or even know who Alan Jackson is, but I recommend this song/video for anyone who has lost a wife, mother or daughter. You don't even have to like country music to appreciate this song.
My dad and I watched and cried. My mom was a huge Alan Jackson fan.
This song touched me beyond words.
My faith tells me that I will see my mom again and this song touches on that.
Again, thanks for your kind words and Happy Easter
Penny
If you want to see the video "sissy's song" by Alan Jackson...google cmt.com go to videos and look under the J for Alan Jackson...but be prepared to cry a 'good cry!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 190
Originally Posted by change4penny 
north,
Thank you so much. I'm sorry about your loss.
Today has been really hard....It's the first Easter without my mom. My husband is out of town, so my dad came over and we had lunch together. We were watching CMT (country music television) and they showed a new video of Alan Jackson's called "Sissy's song".
Now, I don't know if you like country music or even know who Alan Jackson is, but I recommend this song/video for anyone who has lost a wife, mother or daughter. You don't even have to like country music to appreciate this song.
My dad and I watched and cried. My mom was a huge Alan Jackson fan.
This song touched me beyond words.
My faith tells me that I will see my mom again and this song touches on that.
Again, thanks for your kind words and Happy Easter
Penny
If you want to see the video "sissy's song" by Alan Jackson...google cmt.com go to videos and look under the J for Alan Jackson...but be prepared to cry a 'good cry!
Thank you so much. I'm sorry about your loss.
Today has been really hard....It's the first Easter without my mom. My husband is out of town, so my dad came over and we had lunch together. We were watching CMT (country music television) and they showed a new video of Alan Jackson's called "Sissy's song".
Now, I don't know if you like country music or even know who Alan Jackson is, but I recommend this song/video for anyone who has lost a wife, mother or daughter. You don't even have to like country music to appreciate this song.
My dad and I watched and cried. My mom was a huge Alan Jackson fan.
This song touched me beyond words.
My faith tells me that I will see my mom again and this song touches on that.
Again, thanks for your kind words and Happy Easter
Penny
If you want to see the video "sissy's song" by Alan Jackson...google cmt.com go to videos and look under the J for Alan Jackson...but be prepared to cry a 'good cry!
Dopeless Hope Fiend
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: anchorage Alaska
Posts: 2,741
Now I am pissed off because a girl is coming over to visit..I told her she could come and now I feel resentful!! I just don't freakin feel like having comapny today ...serving coffee every day for everyone...**** I must be a pro barista by now...See how I am??? What a wench huh??
I guess I just need to say NO for the love of god...I say yes..then cop a resentment...honestly I know it is selfish but I just get overwhelmed with people stopping in like its a expresso stand...I am going to start charging...I know it is selfish but I am not always PREPARED for peole to stop over ya know??? Sometimes I am naked,,,,,,,
love north
I guess I just need to say NO for the love of god...I say yes..then cop a resentment...honestly I know it is selfish but I just get overwhelmed with people stopping in like its a expresso stand...I am going to start charging...I know it is selfish but I am not always PREPARED for peole to stop over ya know??? Sometimes I am naked,,,,,,,
love north
Dopeless Hope Fiend
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: anchorage Alaska
Posts: 2,741
My friends came by...said they could not stay and handed me 2 huge easter baskets and a MP3 player for easter.....hehehe...see how things work out..??
lol
love north
lol
love north
Now with fewer opiates!
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Southern New Jersey, USA
Posts: 1,405
Originally Posted by northbelle
now he is seeing that real men come in all different package
...and then headed off to choreograph a dance number...
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Midland, NC
Posts: 1,266
North...I totally understand about company dropping in. I used to be the one who never could say "no". When my kids were younger, (they're boys, 18 and 16) I was the 'neighborhood babysitter', and because I never could say the word no, these parents would just show up at my door and drop their kids off...as if I had nothing ever better to do than to watch their kids.
Nowadays, I'm learning to say "no", because when I don't speak up and do thing against my true will, I start resenting it, become pissed off and frustrated...which leads to how I used to deal with it....I'd get high.
Sometime you just gotta do YOU!
penny
Nowadays, I'm learning to say "no", because when I don't speak up and do thing against my true will, I start resenting it, become pissed off and frustrated...which leads to how I used to deal with it....I'd get high.
Sometime you just gotta do YOU!
penny
Dopeless Hope Fiend
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: anchorage Alaska
Posts: 2,741
Oh...wellllllllll...you really ARE smarter than the average bear.....
Would not life be WAY more fun if we would break out in song and dance more often???? Certainly lighten the load a little...think I shall put on some tunes and bust a move..
My latest flame just stopped in and brought me some great groceries..and I was JUST thinking what a selfish you -know-what he was!! LOL..he was wearing a suit...I guess I don't always know everything..
today is going great..what a great day to be sober!!
sure beats my alternative...needle in the neck...yup...I can't forget where I came from...damn near anything that happens in sobriety is better than those days....
cavity search in jail...yeah...definitely better than where I have been!!!
love north.....
ps...Chance wore his sandals with his suit today..just like jesus..he said
...My hollySue in the leapard print...
When my daighter dances...so does my heart!!!
Would not life be WAY more fun if we would break out in song and dance more often???? Certainly lighten the load a little...think I shall put on some tunes and bust a move..
My latest flame just stopped in and brought me some great groceries..and I was JUST thinking what a selfish you -know-what he was!! LOL..he was wearing a suit...I guess I don't always know everything..
today is going great..what a great day to be sober!!
sure beats my alternative...needle in the neck...yup...I can't forget where I came from...damn near anything that happens in sobriety is better than those days....
cavity search in jail...yeah...definitely better than where I have been!!!
love north.....
ps...Chance wore his sandals with his suit today..just like jesus..he said
...My hollySue in the leapard print...When my daighter dances...so does my heart!!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Red Lion, pa
Posts: 5
Originally Posted by northbelle
Took a nap...feel much better..
You know how selfish I am??? I was thinking I wish people would stop inconviencing me with their terminal illness'.....Its just all about MEEEE....
love north
You know how selfish I am??? I was thinking I wish people would stop inconviencing me with their terminal illness'.....Its just all about MEEEE....
love north
The selfishness was in thinking that something (someone) was being taken from you. There's nothing wrong with that. It's human nature. This whole 'being grateful' thing...that's learned. It's the things we pick up along the way that are truly important. You're not selfish. You're just human.
I felt that way when my first husband took his life. (heroin and pill OD) I felt like he did it to ME...how dare he! Same thing when my father passed. How dare he leave ME when there were so many things left to say?!
It's just human nature.
Take care of yourself. Be well and never forget the important things.
~Karen~
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 2,707
a few days ago , I was just laying down for a much needed nap when someone came by.
Hadn't seen the dude for more than a year, so we chatted for an hr then i told him I was going to have a nap now and he left.
I was assertive without being rude
Maybe you can strive to be as perfect as me, NB. lol!
Thought that would make ya smile.
Hadn't seen the dude for more than a year, so we chatted for an hr then i told him I was going to have a nap now and he left.
I was assertive without being rude
Maybe you can strive to be as perfect as me, NB. lol!
Thought that would make ya smile.
Dopeless Hope Fiend
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: anchorage Alaska
Posts: 2,741
Arghhhh...pinched nerve has me on my knees today...
Which is probably a VERY good sign that possibly I need to slow down and let go of the stuff I am trying to CONTROL. Always trying to arrange the "show" to how I think it should go...forgetting how little control I have..
Especially us addicts ...boy I have tried to master this control thing and it kicks my butt every time...
Yesterday i had my gay friend here AND my SO all afternoon..it was very entertaining ..and Chance in the middle of it all ....I was thnking perfect SIT COM scenario...sucha diverse bunch we are around here..black...gay...old youg...addicts...all of us!! Doing what we can one day at a time...Dowloaded some great tunes to my MP3 player which will make my walking around town this week...well I will have a zip in my step!! If this nerve thing calms down...man I don't know what to do.I have aneck brace..maybe I will try that..
Post back guys...
love norty
chance and xavier
Which is probably a VERY good sign that possibly I need to slow down and let go of the stuff I am trying to CONTROL. Always trying to arrange the "show" to how I think it should go...forgetting how little control I have..
Especially us addicts ...boy I have tried to master this control thing and it kicks my butt every time...
Yesterday i had my gay friend here AND my SO all afternoon..it was very entertaining ..and Chance in the middle of it all ....I was thnking perfect SIT COM scenario...sucha diverse bunch we are around here..black...gay...old youg...addicts...all of us!! Doing what we can one day at a time...Dowloaded some great tunes to my MP3 player which will make my walking around town this week...well I will have a zip in my step!! If this nerve thing calms down...man I don't know what to do.I have aneck brace..maybe I will try that..
Post back guys...
love norty
chance and xavier
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Midland, NC
Posts: 1,266
Wow North, Xavier, (the one on the right) looks just like my son Jeremy when he was around that age. He's 16 now, but still my 'baby'...all 6ft of him!
I actually had to do a doubletake!
Remarkable! I guess everyone does have a twin!
Penny
I actually had to do a doubletake!
Remarkable! I guess everyone does have a twin!
Penny
Dopeless Hope Fiend
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: anchorage Alaska
Posts: 2,741
Yeah??? Wow...yeah you must be a tough chicka if you survived boys.....did you raise them by yourself?? Xavier has been pretty much a part of our family for the past 5 years..he sure EATS alot!! My kitchen is always hopping...Xavier once ate a half a b lock of CHEESE!!! I was mad...I mean , my gosh ...make a sandwich..its really NOT THAT MUCH TROUBLE!!! Chance just took off to go put together a beehive! We will have honey this summer!! I am just taking it easy..
Went out to smoke and the neighbor saw me and rushed out to tell me her problems and I just told her..no drama please..I just can't do it today....reading some NA stuff and writing some fourth step ...trying to regroup..have the brace on my neck..adn heating pad...have not been to the hospital yet!!! SO easy to go there and just get loaded and out of pain!! Ain't doing it today!!!!!!
love north
Went out to smoke and the neighbor saw me and rushed out to tell me her problems and I just told her..no drama please..I just can't do it today....reading some NA stuff and writing some fourth step ...trying to regroup..have the brace on my neck..adn heating pad...have not been to the hospital yet!!! SO easy to go there and just get loaded and out of pain!! Ain't doing it today!!!!!!
love north
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Midland, NC
Posts: 1,266
Their father has not been in their life for 4 years. We've been divorced for 13 years. He used to see them every other weekend and holidays until he met his girlfriend, (who has no kids and is in her late 40's), he move in w/her and stopped seeing the kids. My current husband is out of town a lot w/his job, so yeah, I've pretty much done on my own.
I've always said that my sons were more mature than I am. I've put them through some hell, and yet they're good boys. I've been in more trouble than they have for sure!
Way to go on telling the neighbor 'no drama'...'ata girl!!!
Penny
I've always said that my sons were more mature than I am. I've put them through some hell, and yet they're good boys. I've been in more trouble than they have for sure!
Way to go on telling the neighbor 'no drama'...'ata girl!!!
Penny
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
((((norty))))
I sure hope you feel better. Nothing hurts like nerve pain, I know. Have you any type of physical therapy? I had a "pinched" nerve in my my neck that affected my arm and gave me killer headaches. I got some stretching exercises and massages that helped me a lot. You have to be careful as in my case the nerve got "over stimulated" and took a long time to heal. I had some anti inflammatory <sp?> meds that seemed to help too.
You take care, girlie. I'll be thinking of you.
Much love,
Lenina
I sure hope you feel better. Nothing hurts like nerve pain, I know. Have you any type of physical therapy? I had a "pinched" nerve in my my neck that affected my arm and gave me killer headaches. I got some stretching exercises and massages that helped me a lot. You have to be careful as in my case the nerve got "over stimulated" and took a long time to heal. I had some anti inflammatory <sp?> meds that seemed to help too.
You take care, girlie. I'll be thinking of you.
Much love,
Lenina
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Midland, NC
Posts: 1,266
North,
Hope you're feeling better today. My mom, God rest her soul, suffered from severe nerve damage after breaking her neck in a car accident 16 years ago. My dad was driving drunk when they hit a tree at 60 mph. He just picked up his 4 year chip about a month ago. I'm proud of him.
My mom was is so much pain from the nerve damage, so I know what you're going through.
Hope you'll feel better real soon, you're in my prayers,
Penny
Hope you're feeling better today. My mom, God rest her soul, suffered from severe nerve damage after breaking her neck in a car accident 16 years ago. My dad was driving drunk when they hit a tree at 60 mph. He just picked up his 4 year chip about a month ago. I'm proud of him.
My mom was is so much pain from the nerve damage, so I know what you're going through.
Hope you'll feel better real soon, you're in my prayers,
Penny
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